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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

teenagers

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2014 at 12:28 PM
  • 26 Replies
Ok here's the deal i am so bumping heads with my 17 yr old.Its driving me nuts!!ok lastest i have a rule during the week all electronics get turned in @bed time ok,so here's the thing i have two more teenagers that do follow the rules, but for some reason my 17 yr old thinks rules don't apply to her,ok last night after everyone turned in, i got up go check on them typical parent routine, i catch my 17 textng on a little prepaid phone her bf got her, before her dad &i bought her a new android phone..
I got so upset that she did this,my main question is how would y'all handle this situation&what would you ya'll have done??
by on Apr. 8, 2014 at 12:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 8, 2014 at 12:31 PM
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Take everything at 9pm.  I did every night. 

dflo
by New Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 12:42 PM
Yes i do but the thing is she snuck this little prepaid phone in, that i wasn't aware of till i caught her,thats why she gladly turned in the phone that we bought her.
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 6:06 PM
2 moms liked this
Check her room before bed. Confiscate the prepaid.
ItsaJOB
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 10:20 AM
2 moms liked this

Wow!  This is what my DD did when she was a Sophomore in HS.  I would ALSO require all electronics to be turned in at 10:00 every night.  She 'snuck' getting a ppd phone so she could do the same thing...text all night!  We weren't certain how to handle it at first, but decided to let it go...for about a week.  I found the packaging in her room for it when I was putting some of her clothes in her room (just setting them in a laundry basket on the floor), and saw the packaging on the floor under her bed.  We told her it was inappropriate that she go against our rules to have electronics throughout the night.  We confiscated the phone and never gave it back.  She went back to using the one we bought for her, and continued turning it in at night.  Now that she, too, is 17, she felt she deserved to keep it throughout the night to be responsible.  After all, she will be graduating soon and be on her own...if she can't learn responsibility to stop texting and get some sleep, she will soon learn that being tired throughout the day isn't going to work very well.  We still 'intended' to have her turn over the phone at 10:00, but she went and bought her own smartphone and 'claimed' it was her responsibility.  So, despite our anger that she went ahead and did this on her own, she was actually being responsible for her own actions.  She gets up on time for school...if she's tired....that's her own consequence.  I think, in your case, I would tell her to return the phone to her bf and maybe she can start to keep the phone that you bought her, with her...HOWEVER, if she is late for school because she is tired, she will need to start turning the phone over to you again at bedtime.

lulumomof2
by New Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 10:37 AM
2 moms liked this

I have 2 teenage sons (almost) 16 and (almost) 14. We used to have the rule that phones (laptops and tablets could be kept in their room, but not to be used) turned in at night (ours was 10). However, once they got iPhones they wanted to use the alarm to wake them up in the morning (as I do with mine). I told them that was fine, but they needed to stop using the phone (text, calls and internet) at 10 pm. One night (weekend) my oldest was up on his phone texting and using face book. Well when he didn't get up on time the next day (we do let them sleep in on the weekends, but they still can't sleep all day) I woke him up and he told me he was tired, and when I asked him why he was 100% honest and told me. I told him that if he was old enough to stay up late, then he was old enough to deal with the natural consequences of too little sleep! It happened to be a day that we were going to be working out in the yard, and being tired didn't exempt him from doing his (pre-agreed upon) jobs. That was really the last time he has been up late playing with his phone (other electronics had never been a problem) he learned his lesson and the best part I think it showed my younger son what would happen if that rule is broken. I'm all about natural consequences on many things, I think it teaches them WAY better than mom or dad punishing them!!

nana776
by Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 10:56 AM
2 moms liked this

At my house, I don't take my kids' phones away at night, they are expected to stop texting at a certain time and to police themselves. I do monitor their phones and copies of their texts go to an email account so I know exactly what they are doing and at what times, but they don't know about it. I expect them to tell their friends not to call/text before or after certain times. I help them figure out ways to do that without feeling bad about it. They have each violated the rules once, but they soon learned that they can either manage themselves or Mom is going to step in and micromanage for them and I tend to make it painful.

teensrmyworld
by Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 11:34 AM
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Why on earth are you demanding that your kids turn in their electronics?  If they were 10 I might see this, but at 17?  This is a trust issue and you have established loud and clear that there is no trust in your home.  I would advise you to rethink this and instead ask that they turn them off and then come on over for some family time.  To be honest, I would break your rule too!

MicheleJM
by New Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 11:39 AM

At that age I'd probably discuss the rule and try to come to a compromise.  Fact is so long as she's getting good grades in school and goes to sleep at a decent hour I might let it go.  She's 17, not 13.  She'd have to agree she puts away the phone after a certain time at night but it could stay in her room.  Now if she was up all hours of the night and her grades suffered then the electronics go.

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this

I take all my kids' electronics, even the 17-year-olds, at bedtime--but at their bedtime, which varies.  Last night my 14 year old went to bed at 10:30 and the 17 year old went to bed at 11, so that is when I took their phones.  I put them on chargers downstairs which they could get if they wanted/needed to.  I do this because I want to make sure they get at least SOME sleep, and I know, especially for my oldest, who is a night owl, that the temptation to stay up late texting/playing games would be too much if the device was right there next to her.  I let them keep their phones with them on Friday and Saturday nights unless I know they need to be up early for some reason.  None of them have ever tried to sneak anything in 'after hours.'  Not sure if that is because I'm pretty easy-going when it comes to the time I take the devices away, and the fact that I let them keep them on weekend?  My approach to parenting tends to be the same as to life in general:  Everything in moderation.  If I force something extreme on my kids I know it will make them much more likely to rebel, so I try to keep moderate limits.

littlesippycup
by Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Take everything at 9pm. That's not unreasonable.

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