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Advice Needed: I don t trust my son right now I spoke...

Posted by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 7:50 AM
  • 15 Replies

I don't trust my son right now. I spoke to him so many times about not doing drugs and not smoking pot and he said he wouldn't do it. I made him promise me. I have asked him point blank if he has and then I found pot under his dresser. Now I am not speaking to him because he broke the trust.HELP

by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 7:50 AM
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by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this
That's your punishment at the moment? The silent treatment ? Teens LOVE the silent treatment !

I would change my approach to the. " in your face and business 24/7" treatment "

Google this to get some ideas on how to start an open dialogue about it. If you get the
Teen" stare" then look into clarifying your point. How you do that is your decision and I won't be one to tell you what 'd I'd do.
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 8:07 AM

How old is your son? I would be an in your face parent. My child would lose her door, she no longer deserves the privaledge. I would be taking mine in for a complete tox screen. Counseling would be a given. I would blow this up into a really big deal so it isn't forgotten. To me drugs is a really big deal.

by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Well this depends on how old your son is.  Pot is a pretty wonderful thing especially for young people needing a break from all the stresses of life.  I can see being afraid of drug use, but instead of making your son hide it, ask him why he uses it.  I can assure you that smoking a little weed every now and then is a whole hell of a lot better than drinking.  I am not saying that you should let him smoke at will, but since he already is, ask him about it, how often he smokes it and what your rules are about driving, friends, parties and so on.  We have a pretty open mind around pot as I think it is so much more than just another drug.  Read up on it and what pot really does and then have an open and educated talk with your son, I am sure he will really respect that you took the time to find out about marijuana and why he must really like it.

by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 12:36 PM
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If this was mine - I wouldn't even let her leave the room I was in. She'd be back to being treated like a toddler. I can understand taking half an hour away to deal, but you need to go back and start dishing consequences; taking tests, grounding, no privacy, etc.

by Silver Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 1:33 PM

No silent treatment. It won't work. Is Dad in the picture? Time for you and him to sit down with your son and talk about it, set expectations of his behavior and institute a punishment.

As long as it's illegal for him to use marijuana, and as long as he's under 18, you need to crack down. I'm not going to get into a debate with anyone about pros anc cons of pot. The bottom line: It'sILLEGAL in most of the country, and even in Colorado and Washington State, he needs to be of age.

by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 6:22 PM
I would say in my house it's not allowed if you choose to do it then you'll need to live elsewhere. As a parent they have to respect your rules and if not then they can go elsewhere. Parents we need to stop allowing our kids to tell us what they are doing. Kids needs discipline and they need to know we care enough by making rules and sticking to them. If you sit back and do nothing it's basically saying we don't care. Consistency is the key to it all.
by Silver Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 12:07 AM
There would be LOTS of talking in my house.
by on Apr. 13, 2014 at 3:18 AM

Well not talking to him doesn't fix this issue.

by on Apr. 13, 2014 at 7:18 AM
The way you out your expectations on him - 'promise me you won't!' - made it so he couldn't come to you when his friends put pressure on him. It also made it your decision, not his, therefore something to rebel against.

Talks about drugs and alcohol need to be realistic talks about the pros and cons of it. It needs to be an ongoing, open discussion where the teen can voice their opinion. Once you simply forbid it, you make it really appealing.

You need to go have an honest talk about why he wanted to try it, what he liked, and what he didn't like. You need to let him know what the consequences are for this offense and what the future consequences will be.

The silent treatment? That's an awesome reward for a teen who didn't want to talk about it with you anyway.
by Kimberly on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:17 AM

Start talking!    Find out why he is self medicating for starters.    Communication is key.

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