Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Step teenage son

Posted by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 6:17 PM
  • 13 Replies
I have several teenage sons....my 17.year old doesn't do chores and if he does wants to get paid. Doesn't want to work or follow rules. My husband doesn't make him do anything and would rather clean up after him then ask him for help yet my young boys do chores and have responsibilities. This is a nightmare!! He doesn't go out or party or drink he's a good kid but lazy and never does anything but sleep plays x box. When I ask him to do things the response I get is " your not my mom". All my step kids stayed with dad when there mom left and so my husband feels like he has to pamper them because of what she did. I am going crazy! !
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 6:17 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
andremaleamy2
by Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 6:26 PM
1 mom liked this
The worse mistake we make is guilt parenting and kids figure it out quick when they can use guilt to get their way. Dad has to be fair, this is on him. The son will not respect you until Dad puts his foot down. Praying for you! Hugs!!
gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Apr. 11, 2014 at 9:01 PM

Dad needs to get ALL the kids disciplined the same. Dad is doing his son NO FAVORS; in fact, not having rules for his son is as harmful as mom having left them. No point in having a dad who doesn't live up to his fatherly responsibilities.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Apr. 11, 2014 at 11:19 PM
3 moms liked this

 I can tell you from experience, you are fighting a losing battle.  You're not going to win as long as your husband is not on the same page.  If he won't get on your side, I would stop.  Go on strike with this boy.  Don't feed him, don't clean his dishes, don't do anything for him.  Tell him straight up, if you don't wash your dish you will have a dirty dish for the next meal.  I had to do that here.

nopenope666
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 11:33 PM
2 moms liked this
This is a great idea

Quoting fantasticfour:

 I can tell you from experience, you are fighting a losing battle.  You're not going to win as long as your husband is not on the same page.  If he won't get on your side, I would stop.  Go on strike with this boy.  Don't feed him, don't clean his dishes, don't do anything for him.  Tell him straight up, if you don't wash your dish you will have a dirty dish for the next meal.  I had to do that here.

latinamom12
by on Apr. 12, 2014 at 12:25 PM
I told my husband I cook, clean do there laundry and lunches for school, take them to the Dr appt ...they come to me when there sick or need something and yet this is what I put up with. I told them I will be linger cook or clean and told them not to come to me for anything anymore and my husband says he will do the same towards my kids. The only difference is I make sure my kids do there part. I have spoken to there mom and she does speak to the boys. I have tried to tell my husband if they see us in disagreement they will use that against both of us.
mytinydancer
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 1:19 AM

Omg, I was looking over some of the topics and seen yours.  This sounds exactly like the same thing I am going through right now.  I wanted to vent but I agree about it being a losing battle.  My husband will take out the trash before ever asking ss to do it or he will ask ss bio sibling.  It is ridiculous!  I can make dinner he will eat and half the time I have to remind him to put his plate in the dishwasher.  It isn't fair to the rest of the kids.  My ss says now that he turns 18 this week he is moving out.  I am keeping my fingers crossed.  

JerrysMom2011
by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 7:57 AM

I likes this idea....:) I have a 15 SS that I have major issues with see related post...would you ever lol. 

Quoting nopenope666: This is a great idea
Quoting fantasticfour:

 I can tell you from experience, you are fighting a losing battle.  You're not going to win as long as your husband is not on the same page.  If he won't get on your side, I would stop.  Go on strike with this boy.  Don't feed him, don't clean his dishes, don't do anything for him.  Tell him straight up, if you don't wash your dish you will have a dirty dish for the next meal.  I had to do that here.


mloomex
by New Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 11:58 PM
First of all when you married your hubby, you new he had kids.you may not have known that being a step mom was going to be difficult but you as a step parent need to stand your guard and not let the 17year old treat you like that you need to stand your ground when you ask him to do thing and he talks back take away things like Xbox. If he had a phone or any thing electronic start taking it away you need to show him who boss when his dad not there and you and your hubby need to sit down and have a serious talk about respect hold your ground your step son still needs guidance also pick and choose your battle don't make make everything a battle,is he ASD?or is it the younger ones and where are the spectrum is he? Because at his age he should be trying to get a job. You can make a chore
List and give him a certain amount or you can pick a no TV no Xbox any electronic device day like I have with my kids or if he willing to start helping then then give him 2hours when he is done with everything there is lots of ways to deal with issue, Trust me I have been there.with a stepson
latinamom12
by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 8:14 AM
My husband says the same that my 17 yr old has one more year then he is off to the military but I tell him " oh ok so basically I'm to put up with this until he leaves". Well, this past Saturday my husband asked my 13 yr old Step son to clean the bathroom basically wipe down sink and mirrors and toilet and the 17 yr old is to scrub there tub and mop and sweep . Well my 13 yr old lied 3 times and told his dad it was done Saturday. We'll yesterday I go upstairs and it isn't done so I called my husband and told him that because he lied not once but 3 times that he would be in trouble. I also told my husband I would not make them dinner or anything for them since they think rules or chores apply to them so. ..I made beans , pork chops and greens for dinner and they come home and are hungry. Well I told them since they refuse to listen to us and not do as there told they would not be able to eat my dinner well that got them moving. They sure did.get that bathroom cleaned and I let them eat first. I felt bad ..they were so hungry but I did make it clear why Dad wasn't home that I was not going to pamper them anymore and if they continued I would cut them off. I think they know if I don't cook etc for them they are on there own.

Quoting mytinydancer:

Omg, I was looking over some of the topics and seen yours.  This sounds exactly like the same thing I am going through right now.  I wanted to vent but I agree about it being a losing battle.  My husband will take out the trash before ever asking ss to do it or he will ask ss bio sibling.  It is ridiculous!  I can make dinner he will eat and half the time I have to remind him to put his plate in the dishwasher.  It isn't fair to the rest of the kids.  My ss says now that he turns 18 this week he is moving out.  I am keeping my fingers crossed.  

mloomex
by New Member on May. 3, 2014 at 10:16 PM
Hi, are any of you from Ithaca,NY. You don't have to give any information. I'm looking for clothing that are decent for my daughter that has ASD/ADHD she has a growing problem and she takes shots for itshe is small for her age but is steadily grow we are growing out of 12 and are looking for clothing for next year schooling they got to be decent and don't care about brand just as long as as they are stain arip and hole free,unless it that's the pants/jean style.I don't mind some stains. But she ranges from size14 to juniors size 0/24....tops xl girl size 14/16 or m to large in Jr she doesnt care for dresses or anything really flashy her things comfort and jeans/pants. She does like Capri's and cami's also scorts as for as tops as long as they match something she can wear. If you live in Ithaca or close to Dryden let me know .you can ad me as a friend or I can give you an email to contact me how ever you want to do it.
Tank you for every ones time...
I would be on here more often but it just matters if I actually get any time to my self....
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN