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I just had to commit my 13yo dd to the Psych Hospital ***UPDATE page 2*** ETA PG 4

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:49 AM
  • 39 Replies

Earlier tonight we had a bit of a blow up over her painting things with nail polish. It wouldn't be a big deal, but she paints things that she shouldn't. I could smell the polish in the living room and had gone to check and she refused to show me what she was doing. She kept trying to say that she was just painting her nails, but they had very obviously not been painted in a while.

Anyway the argument escalated because she was upset that I didn't trust her, which I really don't because she lies all the time. I sent her to bed. She was in her room and I could hear her moving around so I got up to check on her and found her sitting on the side of her bed with the cord from her fan wrapped around her neck. She had also been cutting herself again, she had several deep scratches on her forearm and her neck.

I took her to the ER, that's the way it has to be done here. They are keeping her for at least 72 hours so they can do a psych evaluation on her. They may put her on some anti-depressants too.

I know this is the best thing for her, but my heart is breaking. I feel like I failed her, even though I have had her in therapy for the last several years. Her grandfather died in April of 2010, she was pretty close to him and took it hard. Her dad died in January of 2011, she never really remembered him, but that just made his death a little harder for her. I think I feel like I failed because we don't have as close relationship as I would like. She didn't feel like she could talk to me.

Anyway that's for listening.

by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:56 AM
1 mom liked this

First thing, Obviously she's shown you she can't use nail polish responsibly so take it all away. Hide it, throw it, doesn't matter. Secondly that whole scene to me, kind of sounds attention seeking, has she done this sort of thing before? What was she using to cut herself with? While she's gone I would go through her room and take out anything dangerous, or anything she can use as a makeshift cutting device and I would also take away any electronics just so she can't use them to find other methods. Same with the bathroom. And honestly? Maybe it's time for a new therapist. My DD had to go through 3 until she found the right one.

nana776
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 2:08 AM

The cutting was something she had done in the past, but hadn't done it for several months. I agree with the attention seeking and I was starting to feel like her therapist was feeding into that. She told the psych nurse that she didn't really like her therapist so I will be requesting a new one. 

I didn't let her have any nail polish without supervision for about a year, she had just earned the priviledge back again, but I will be taking it away again.

Quoting GleekingOut:

First thing, Obviously she's shown you she can't use nail polish responsibly so take it all away. Hide it, throw it, doesn't matter. Secondly that whole scene to me, kind of sounds attention seeking, has she done this sort of thing before? What was she using to cut herself with? While she's gone I would go through her room and take out anything dangerous, or anything she can use as a makeshift cutting device and I would also take away any electronics just so she can't use them to find other methods. Same with the bathroom. And honestly? Maybe it's time for a new therapist. My DD had to go through 3 until she found the right one.


Memere60
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 9:18 AM

So sorry. I know it was hard to do, but if I found my daughter with a cord around her neck, I would have done the same thing (I hope). Sending you a hug and a prayer. All the advice about her bedroom and bathroom is very good. hugging

Lori942
by New Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry momma!  Saying prayers for you & your dd.((HUGS))

Memere60
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 9:24 AM


Quoting Memere60:

So sorry. I know it was hard to do, but if I found my daughter with a cord around her neck, I would have done the same thing (I hope). Sending you a hug and a prayer. All the advice about her bedroom and bathroom is very good. hugging

P.S. I know you said you feel like you failed her. You have had her in therapy for several years. You took her to the hospital the other day. You're going to get her another therapist. I think failing her would have been doing nothing.

Beachdeprived
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, of course she is seeking attention, whether it be positive or negative (in this case) but you had to take it seriously. As far as finding her with the cord wrapped around her neck.. whether it was a threat or real.. it doesn't matter and what if it was just a threat one time and something went wrong and she accidentally harmed herself. You can't take that stuff lightly.You reacted the right way!

And with the nail polish...sure you could take away like she said below but she would just find something else or some other way to show this type of behavior. You can also hide all the stuff in her bedroom and bathroom but you can't turn your house upside down.. .if she wants to hurt herself she will find a way. What's to stop her from going in the kitchen and taking a knife when you aren't looking or using her shoelaces around her neck or a plastic bag or anything... it would be so hard to take away all possible threats in your house. The mandatory ER evaulation is a good thing... it takes some pressure off you and hopefully they will properly diagnose her and perhaps medication wil be required and that's OK...

You didn't fail her at all... you are seeking help for her. I don't see that as a failure at all. Failure would be not caring and not getting her the necessary help. I will certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers and all you can do is stay strong for her...be there for her and hopefully one day soon, you two can grow closer and form a better relationship.



Quoting nana776:

The cutting was something she had done in the past, but hadn't done it for several months. I agree with the attention seeking and I was starting to feel like her therapist was feeding into that. She told the psych nurse that she didn't really like her therapist so I will be requesting a new one. 

I didn't let her have any nail polish without supervision for about a year, she had just earned the priviledge back again, but I will be taking it away again.

Quoting GleekingOut:

First thing, Obviously she's shown you she can't use nail polish responsibly so take it all away. Hide it, throw it, doesn't matter. Secondly that whole scene to me, kind of sounds attention seeking, has she done this sort of thing before? What was she using to cut herself with? While she's gone I would go through her room and take out anything dangerous, or anything she can use as a makeshift cutting device and I would also take away any electronics just so she can't use them to find other methods. Same with the bathroom. And honestly? Maybe it's time for a new therapist. My DD had to go through 3 until she found the right one.


JessicaR7
by Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 5:47 PM

 First of all, you did not fail your daughter hun...she is just not well.  It's nothing to do with how you raised...it's how she copes with life and problem solves.  Before she comes home you need to do operation clean sweep in her room and remove anything she can hurt herself with.  I'd lock up all your meds, even over the counter stuff, in a small safe.  I'd put up steak knives, scissors, razors, etc. up as well.  It is a pain for everyone but it's what you do until you know one family member is safe.  If therapy isn't working, she may have to be on meds long-term for her own well being.  I'm really sorry you are dealing with this and I sincerely hope that she will take the help you are trying to give her.

aurorarosepsych
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 5:48 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this

TXCatLady
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 5:53 PM

hang in there...you are doing the right thing getting her help

coronado25
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 6:01 PM
My daughter went a little nuts at that age. My approach was different but seemed to work. I was appalled when the school called to say she was cutting herself.

After talking with her and getting no where, I had to "agree"her that she was right, cutting was helpful and did make things feel better. For about a week I encouraged it, but not sarcastically.

I asked her to cut me when I was visibly tired one morning, or. At least show me how and where I should. I suggested she teach her younger brother about this very helpful "therapy". I suggested that we look each other over for possible signs of cuts getting infected because having discovered such a wonderful release of stress by engaging in cutting, we didn't want to add more stress by getting infected cuts that might land us in the doctor's office and then we would be seen as crazy when no we are not, it really does help....yada yada..

Not only did she almost immediately drop her desire to cut, but she began shunning any behaviors that previously were creating tension in the house.

It was never discussed again. Think she knew I was acting but I played the part so well she was mystified.
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