My 17 year old daughter is having risky sex with boys. DESPERATELY need help!!
Hi, I'm at my wits end. My daughter Lisa is 17 years old and will be 18 in just over two months.
I came home from work early 3 weeks ago and Lisa had gone to the shops. She had left the computer logged into her username which she never usually does. I took the opportunity to check what she had been doing and I discovered dozens of videos of her giving boys oral sex. I was so shocked but I played a handful of them and forwarded into the videos a bit to try and see if she was being pressured into it but it was obvious she wasn't. It was clear there's more than one boy involved though. From the few I viewed it seemed there were at least four different boys but probably more. They all seemed to be shot using mobile phones from the boys perspective looking down at her so I didn't see their faces but some of the boys voices are different. They were not using condoms and I viewed one lad climax in her mouth before I couldn't stomach watching any more.
I confronted her when she got back and we had a huge row. I lost my temper and slapped her which I shouldn't have done and apologised straight away. She was furious that I had checked through her stuff but she just wouldn't listen when I was trying to tell her how dangerous and risky it is as she could easily catch an STD or one of these boys could make her do something she doesn't want to do. She admitted one boy talked her into doing it and then told several of his mates who asked her for the same. She said she refused them at first but went along with it as it's made her popular with all the boys and they are interested in her now and she likes the attention she is getting. She said that these boys have been emailing her the videos which is how they got onto the computer.
This has been a source of constant friction every since and she refuses to listen to me despite the risks. I want to go round to see the parents of some of the boys I know she knows but I have no way to prove that they could be involved and have considered if I do that it could let the cat out of the bag with everyone finding out about it and she could get a terrible reputation I thought about going to the police but am not sure what they could do as the sex is consensual..
I phoned her father with whom I am divorced and he invited her over for a few days to try and talk to her but she wouldn't go and I haven't been able to talk him into coming over yet to see her and I'm now more angry with him than my daughter fo not trying to help me straight away.
She's still going out though. Not as often as she was in the evening but I'm not sure what she's doing while I am at work. I don't feel I can stop her going out though as this may make the situation harder to handle. She left school at 16 and so far has not found herself a work placement or any sort of training scheme.
I'm trying to find ways to get through to her but so far I've just seemed to be banging my head against a brick wall.
Can anyone offer me any advice?