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Do Your Teens Know How to Handle Rejection?

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:16 PM
  • 8 Replies

High School Girl Stabbed to Death After Prom Invite Apparently Goes Wrong

by Kiri Blakeley

High schools all around the nation are having prom time right now. That can be one of the most cool, most fun, and also most stressful and degrading times for teens everywhere. And you never quite know which one it's going to be. But for one teen in Milford, Connecticut, prom time was deadly. Maren Sanchez, a popular 16-year-old junior who was class president, was pronounced dead this morning after being allegedly stabbed and choked in Jonathan Law High School after she reportedly turned down a boy's prom invite.

Milford Police Chief Keith Mello said that the boy accused of stabbing and choking Sanchez to death is not being identified because he is a minor. And police are investigating the rumor that he became angry after she turned down his prom invite -- however, that is not definitive yet.

A young girl just starting out her life who is murdered while in her high school where she should be safe is tragic and horrible enough. But if she really were attacked because she turned down a boy's invite, that's just everything that is so wrong with society today.

No one can handle rejection. Everyone thinks life is supposed to be one gold star after another. Are we creating these self-entitled youngsters? We tell our kids they are so special, they can do no wrong, they deserve everything and should get everything. Well, sorry, life isn't like that. I think it's great so much care is put into young people's self-esteem these days -- I think that's important. But there's a difference between that and not preparing your kids for rejection, which is going to happen throughout their lives.

Of course, we don't know exactly what happened here. We don't know if this boy was mentally ill.

But I do know there is such an enormous culture of violence directed at young women in this country. I know when I was younger if I said no to a man who asked me out, I could suddenly be bombarded with nasty names, told I was "frigid," a "bitch," a "lesbian," or "no wonder you are single," etc. Many men can't seem to fathom the idea that a woman might not want to date them. Maybe it's all the porn they watch. Porn women don't say no.

Whatever happened here, a young woman's life is lost and her parents must be devastated.

Do you think young people can't handle rejection?

Do your teens know how to handle rejection?

by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:16 PM
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Replies (1-8):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:58 PM

Yes, they can.  I don't understand all the evil teens today.  This didn't go on way back in the day.  Not just teens but adults in general.  We are a very violent society.  It is terrible.  This guy better be locked away forever for this.  I don't care if he is a minor.  Sick of the slap on the wrist or they don't know better.  They know killing is wrong even as a kid let alone a teen. 

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 6:44 PM

I don't think it is just the men though. Women -and teen girls do a LOT of this - are responsible for leading them on to the point that they THINK they're going to get what their heart desires, whether sex, a relationship, marriage, etc. and then turn around and say "Oh, no, we're just friends" or something to that effect. My eldest cannot handle rejection - she still thinks if she "seduces" enough -they'll change their minds. I'm teaching my younger children not only to HANDLE rejection -but how to reject if they do not want to date people. IMO leading people on is WORSE than outright rejecting them.

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 25, 2014 at 6:52 PM

Regardless if someone is let on and I don't think this guy was, murder is no answer.  Men seem to be doing every single mass murder we have in the US, every mass school shooting is a guy too. 

Quoting GleekingOut:

I don't think it is just the men though. Women -and teen girls do a LOT of this - are responsible for leading them on to the point that they THINK they're going to get what their heart desires, whether sex, a relationship, marriage, etc. and then turn around and say "Oh, no, we're just friends" or something to that effect. My eldest cannot handle rejection - she still thinks if she "seduces" enough -they'll change their minds. I'm teaching my younger children not only to HANDLE rejection -but how to reject if they do not want to date people. IMO leading people on is WORSE than outright rejecting them.


GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 6:55 PM
Oh I definitely agree murder is NOT the answer. It's disturbing to say the least that he resorted to that.

Quoting atlmom2:

Regardless if someone is let on and I don't think this guy was, murder is no answer.  Men seem to be doing every single mass murder we have in the US, every mass school shooting is a guy too. 

Quoting GleekingOut:

I don't think it is just the men though. Women -and teen girls do a LOT of this - are responsible for leading them on to the point that they THINK they're going to get what their heart desires, whether sex, a relationship, marriage, etc. and then turn around and say "Oh, no, we're just friends" or something to that effect. My eldest cannot handle rejection - she still thinks if she "seduces" enough -they'll change their minds. I'm teaching my younger children not only to HANDLE rejection -but how to reject if they do not want to date people. IMO leading people on is WORSE than outright rejecting them.

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 26, 2014 at 8:14 AM

He is identified as a 16 year old, ugh.  I hope he never gets out of jail. 

3kids4me333
by New Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I think your statement below is unfortunately very accurate.  The "everyone gets a trophy" attitude has provided children an inaccurate view of themselves and their abilities.  Of course kids don't need someone putting them down or destroying their self-esteem, but false evaluations from the outside lead to false evaluation in the individual and eventually disappointments in a kids who haven't developed coping skills.  I think we'd do our kids a lot of good encouraging them to develop their true strengths and not fill their heads with unrealistic ideas about themselves.

 "No one can handle rejection. Everyone thinks life is supposed to be one gold star after another. Are we creating these self-entitled youngsters? We tell our kids they are so special, they can do no wrong, they deserve everything and should get everything. Well, sorry, life isn't like that. I think it's great so much care is put into young people's self-esteem these days -- I think that's important. But there's a difference between that and not preparing your kids for rejection, which is going to happen throughout their lives."

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 26, 2014 at 2:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I hate the everyone wins crap. Mne lost and know how to deal.

Quoting 3kids4me333:

I think your statement below is unfortunately very accurate.  The "everyone gets a trophy" attitude has provided children an inaccurate view of themselves and their abilities.  Of course kids don't need someone putting them down or destroying their self-esteem, but false evaluations from the outside lead to false evaluation in the individual and eventually disappointments in a kids who haven't developed coping skills.  I think we'd do our kids a lot of good encouraging them to develop their true strengths and not fill their heads with unrealistic ideas about themselves.


 "No one can handle rejection. Everyone thinks life is supposed to be one gold star after another. Are we creating these self-entitled youngsters? We tell our kids they are so special, they can do no wrong, they deserve everything and should get everything. Well, sorry, life isn't like that. I think it's great so much care is put into young people's self-esteem these days -- I think that's important. But there's a difference between that and not preparing your kids for rejection, which is going to happen throughout their lives."

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mamavalor
by Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 9:40 PM

There will always be people who can't handle rejection.  Just look at history.  

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