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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

She's making a mistake!!!!!!

Posted by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:57 AM
  • 6 Replies

My dd is making a huge mistake and I can't stop it :(

There is a bit of a back story so here goes:

2 years ago my dd was gong thru a rough time.  Its when her stalker first started his stalking. She met a boy and he was really nice to her and they became fast friends. She really  needed a friend at the time.   He eventually wanted to be more than friends and pursued her in that way hard core.  She found out he technically had a girlfriend who was away for the summer.  So they just remained friends but not for lacking of trying on his part.  They were really close tho.  Then after summer ended and school started and they went to different schools they kinda stopped hanging out. He started spending most of his time with friends and the girlfriend.   FF to spring last year and he started showing up again. They started to spend alot of time together again. He still had a girlfriend which he broke up with soon after hanging out with my dd again. She had a boyfriend at the time that was getting close to breaking up.  He was an ass big time. Mean and rude and just a jerk.  The friend who we will call K  became super sweet.  He was the total opposite of the boyfriend.  Eventually my dd got fed up with the boyfriend and they broke up late may.  K really started to pursue my dd after that.  July they became a couple. They had a great summer and my dd really really liked him alot. Well school started up again in Sept and he started to change. Almost avoiding my dd most of the time.  In Oct he breaks up with my dd. She was really heart broken.  Her first actual heart break.  She moped around for about 2 weeks then one day decided she didn't want to be that girl. She didn't want to even see him at all anymore but he's on the same running team as my younger dd.  They really haven't spoken tho since October.  Until 2 days ago. He started texting her. Then yesterday after my younger dd's race she wanted to go to McDonald's with some of her team members so my older dd went along.  Somehow K ended up treating my girls to McDonald's and walked them home.  Then he stuck around. Tagged along to the laundromat wth my dd's approval and then hung out at my house till about 7pm.  I see it in my dd's face that she has missed him .  He comes off as a sweet kid but its obvious that he's just using her or plans to for the summer.  I've pointed out the obvious to her and she says she's aware of his intentions. 

by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-6):
Hannahluvsdogs
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:10 AM

You have to let her live her life. Maybe this time she knows it will just be a fling and won't let herself get too attached to him.

Ricksmama
by on May. 5, 2014 at 10:17 AM
Depending on your daughters age really all you can do is step back an let her live her life asuming she's atleast 18 of course. If she's already graduated hs then she's considered grown enough to make her own choices. If she's younger then you lay down the rules of your home if he's a creep then send him down the road
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 5, 2014 at 10:28 AM

She has to learn the hard way.  Just let happen what is going to. 

Msgme
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:41 AM

She is under 18.  She's only 15 and boyfriends for her are not exactly what one would think of in the sense of a boyfriend. She's not actually allowed to date. At least not unsupervised.  Her relationships consist of Text, FB and hanging out by my house supervised.  During the warm weather she'll hang outside my house in large groups of ppl including her little sister and there is always a parent keeping an eye out.  There is some hand holding but always PG.  She's not allowed to actually date until she turns 16.    I forced her to break up with her last boyfriend the one that was a big jerk. It was a mistake to force it.  So i promised her as long as she follows the rules she is free to pick and choose her friends.

Quoting Ricksmama: Depending on your daughters age really all you can do is step back an let her live her life asuming she's atleast 18 of course. If she's already graduated hs then she's considered grown enough to make her own choices. If she's younger then you lay down the rules of your home if he's a creep then send him down the road


Serendipitous1
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 12:30 PM

Keep an open dialog with your daughter about her feelings. I've experienced dating, breaking up, being friends, and getting back together with my eldest. I notice that many nice boys are respectful to their former girlfriends after a breakup (good or bad). Just listen, be there for her to talk, vent and you will know exactly what is going on.

I have a DD, too. I have been extremely honest with her about boys and dating. The purpose of dating. How boys and girls interpret the relatonship differently. Being armed with that knowledge has helped prepare her to be stronger emotionally. She has her first BF - I like him, but I know it will end sometime and that there will be others (that I won't like). There are going to be BFs you like and that you don't like. Just keep the dialog open and let her feel that she has the lead. Best of luck to you!

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2014 at 1:33 PM

I think it is great that you are so involved with your daughter and that you have rules in place for her without prohibiting her from interacting socially with a boy. Just keep doing what you're doing!  I honestly don't think the way this boy has behaved is all that unusual.  It is pretty common for teens to date, break up, get back together, date again, etc.  As long as you keep monitoring the situation and she remains open with you she should be okay!  At least he is nice and respectful towards her. She will be better prepared this time if the same thing happens again.   

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