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Have You Discussed Sexism and Objectification with Your Teen?

Posted by on May. 10, 2014 at 11:31 AM
  • 6 Replies

Boys' Sexist 'Game' for Choosing Prom Dates Is Cool With the School (VIDEO)

by Maressa Brown

Prom corsage dateA Newport Beach, California high school is under fire this week after news emerged that junior and senior male students are running an NFL-like "prom draft," which ranks female students and has allowed boys to pay as much as $140 for a first-round pick, according to officials. Corona del Mar High School principal Kathy Scott sent an email to parents after she caught wind of the "bracket" for the June 7 prom.

Meanwhile, The Daily Pilot interviewed students who made it seem like the intent of the draft is to prevent infighting and controversy that usually comes with who asks whom to prom, and it's apparently about "camaraderie, a fun thing to do with the guys." Yep. What a shame that these male students believe it's okay to bond by objectifying their female peers ... Equally as skin-crawling: “A lot of the girls respect the draft and stick with those dates,” one student said.

Adding insult to injury, Scott said, "I am sure that the intention of this ‘draft’ is not to be harmful, but it may be." What?!

As easy as it is to put this all on the students' shoulders, there's clearly a lack of discussion at home that led to all of this. This eye-rollingly clueless incident at Corona del Mar is a sign that conversations about respect and sexism need to be happening between parents and their teens -- not just in Newport Beach, but everywhere

Parents need to be sitting their daughters down and telling them that this sort of behavior is not to be tolerated from guys. And it's certainly not cute or romantic or endearing to be demeaned and reduced to a "draft pick" (or piece of meat, you know, however you want to see it).

They need to be telling their sons that girls aren't prizes to be won, to be bought and sold like stocks or commodities. They can put whatever sweet, mushy label on something like this that they want. Call it camaraderie 'til the cows come home, or a way to head off jealousy or drama down the line, but ultimately, it's just plain twisted and not to be tolerated.

In the meantime, Corona del Mar High School doesn't seem to be taking any sort of disciplinary action against students involved in the draft, but Principal Scott is urging parents to speak with their children and "discuss the seriousness of this type of activity." Well, that's at least a place to start!


Have you discussed sexism and objectification with your teen? How?

by on May. 10, 2014 at 11:31 AM
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Replies (1-6):
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 10, 2014 at 12:57 PM
When my dd's didn't have a boyfriend they went alone with a group. Had so much fun.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cybcm
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2014 at 6:28 PM

I think sexism and objectification is one of the more tired out subjects of discussion in our household.

bexsmum
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2014 at 9:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I think this has been blown out of proportion big time. Seniors are always coming up with new and unique ways to ask prom dates out. It's part of the whole prom experience. How are we to know that the girls didn't agree to this draft and it was just something fun to do to see who thier date would be.

Sorry but both males and females will rate thier counter parts on any number of atributes be it how cool they are how cute/hot they are how smart how good of althete. They are teens and they find unique ways to do things we as adults don't always approve of or understand. it seems like the school has no problem with this so why should we when it doesn't effect us in any way

lil_mama06
by on May. 11, 2014 at 10:49 AM

Never heard of such a thing...Some things kids come up with... 

chattycassie
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2014 at 3:34 PM

 I am tending to lean with this answer. Kids will do this weather on the internet or not. They are always judging each other.

Quoting bexsmum:

I think this has been blown out of proportion big time. Seniors are always coming up with new and unique ways to ask prom dates out. It's part of the whole prom experience. How are we to know that the girls didn't agree to this draft and it was just something fun to do to see who thier date would be.

Sorry but both males and females will rate thier counter parts on any number of atributes be it how cool they are how cute/hot they are how smart how good of althete. They are teens and they find unique ways to do things we as adults don't always approve of or understand. it seems like the school has no problem with this so why should we when it doesn't effect us in any way

 

butzi
by Member on May. 13, 2014 at 9:43 AM
Really, this doesn't seem like a huge deal... Weird maybe, and weirder still that the young women put up with it...
We started talking about this subject-- both my husband and me with our now teenaged boys when they were much younger. I found my then 8 year old looking at pictures of scantily clad, sexy posed women, we talked about what he liked about the pictures, why they made him feel good...then we talked about how looking at those pictures did not help him to know anything about the women. He couldn't see if they were nice or kind or smart. More importantly, they seemed to make it less important to find those things out when you focus mostly on a persons physical attributes. We also talked about the fact that those women were someone's sister daughter or mother... How would he feel about people disrespecting his sisters of mother( he had no daughters).
This seemed to help him put it in perspective. No judging or shaming was required, just rational discourse. I having similar conversations with both boys through out our time together.
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