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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

PUNISHMENT TIMES

Posted by on May. 12, 2014 at 4:02 PM
  • 17 Replies

HELLO, I AM NEW TO THIS SITE. I'VE COME HERE FOR ADVICE ON MY TEEN DAUGHTER. I NEED SOME ADVICE ON WHAT AMOUNT OF TIME A KID SHOULD BE GROUNDED FOR CERTAIN OFFENSES.

by on May. 12, 2014 at 4:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 12, 2014 at 4:03 PM

Pretty serious offenses for middle and HS are usually 2 weeks, sometimes more.  What has your kid done? 

REDRAIDER91
by on May. 12, 2014 at 4:22 PM

THE FIRST TIME SHE WAS EVER GROUNDED, WAS FOR HAVING A PARTY A HER FRIENDS HOUSE WHILE HER FRIENDS PARENTS WERE OUT OF TOWN. WE GROUNDED HER FOR 7 WEEKS FROM FRIENDS AND PHONE.

THAT WAS IN JANUARY, IN APRIL, I GROUNDED HER FOR ANOTHER 7 WEEKS FOR SNEAKING OUT OF A FRIENDS HOUSE WHILE SPENDING THE NIGHT.

WHILE STILL GROUNDED FOR THAT OFFENSE A WEEK AGO, SHE LEFT A NOTE ON HER BED ON FRIDAY NIGHT SAYING THAT SHE WOULD BE HOME ON SUNDAY, THAT SHE KNEW SHE WAS ALREADY GROUNDED BUT THAT SHE NEEDED TO GET AWAY. WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR HER, CALLED EVERYONE WE KNEW. SHE WALKED INTO THE HOUSE ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON.

SHE SAID SHE WAS ALREADY GROUNDED AND WHAT ELSE COULD WE DO. WE DRUG TESTED HER CAUSE WE THOUGHT SHE HAD BEEN OUT PARTYING, WE WERE WRONG, SHE JUST WANTED TO GET AWAY BECAUSE SHE DIDNT HAVE HER PHONE, SHE HAD NO ONE TO TALK TO HER AGE AND A FRIEND OF HERS HAD COMMITED SUICIDE THE DAY BEFORE AND SHE WAS SAD AND CONFUSED.

HOW MUCH LONGER SHOULD SHE BE GROUNDED FOR DOING THIS?

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 12, 2014 at 4:34 PM

Those are big things, but 7 weeks is a VERY long time.  She is just rebelling and not learning anything. 

Staying gone a whole weekend would be a huge no no.

Maybe some counseling could get her head straight also. 

Oh, how old is she??? 

REDRAIDER91
by on May. 12, 2014 at 5:21 PM

SHE JUST TURNED 15

StreetsAhead
by Member on May. 13, 2014 at 6:26 AM

Well the grounding obviously isnt working (I have never and will never ground a kid but that is different)

Try other punishments it may just be that grounding makes her lash out more

REDRAIDER91
by on May. 13, 2014 at 9:55 AM

What else is there to do? Grounding covers it all, phone, electronics, friends! She already does volunteer work, attends church reguarly.

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 13, 2014 at 10:02 AM

Grounded really worked for my kids.  Guess you have to find their vice.  Mine hated not having a phone or computer, or better yet, take the car away.  Oh, that was awful.  Also not letting them go out on weekends.  Some kids, sadly, nothing works and they rebel and never behave. 

Quoting StreetsAhead:

Well the grounding obviously isnt working (I have never and will never ground a kid but that is different)

Try other punishments it may just be that grounding makes her lash out more


StreetsAhead
by Member on May. 13, 2014 at 10:24 AM
I agree, grounding has never been on my radar, but you do have to find their button that gets the best outcome

Quoting atlmom2:

Grounded really worked for my kids.  Guess you have to find their vice.  Mine hated not having a phone or computer, or better yet, take the car away.  Oh, that was awful.  Also not letting them go out on weekends.  Some kids, sadly, nothing works and they rebel and never behave. 

Quoting StreetsAhead:

Well the grounding obviously isnt working (I have never and will never ground a kid but that is different)

Try other punishments it may just be that grounding makes her lash out more

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 13, 2014 at 10:32 AM

Not that I didn't have to ground multiple times.  Nothing works 100% of the time.  All in all I was lucky to have pretty decent teenagers. 

Quoting StreetsAhead: I agree, grounding has never been on my radar, but you do have to find their button that gets the best outcome
Quoting atlmom2:

Grounded really worked for my kids.  Guess you have to find their vice.  Mine hated not having a phone or computer, or better yet, take the car away.  Oh, that was awful.  Also not letting them go out on weekends.  Some kids, sadly, nothing works and they rebel and never behave. 

Quoting StreetsAhead:

Well the grounding obviously isnt working (I have never and will never ground a kid but that is different)

Try other punishments it may just be that grounding makes her lash out more



StreetsAhead
by Member on May. 13, 2014 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this
Of course nothing works all the time but also the punishment has to fit the crime and I don't thinkyou can have a blanket punishment for everything and often people sometimes overreact with a punishment that back fires

Quoting atlmom2:

Not that I didn't have to ground multiple times.  Nothing works 100% of the time.  All in all I was lucky to have pretty decent teenagers. 

Quoting StreetsAhead: I agree, grounding has never been on my radar, but you do have to find their button that gets the best outcome

Quoting atlmom2:

Grounded really worked for my kids.  Guess you have to find their vice.  Mine hated not having a phone or computer, or better yet, take the car away.  Oh, that was awful.  Also not letting them go out on weekends.  Some kids, sadly, nothing works and they rebel and never behave. 

Quoting StreetsAhead:

Well the grounding obviously isnt working (I have never and will never ground a kid but that is different)

Try other punishments it may just be that grounding makes her lash out more

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