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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

freshman comimg home today? worried

Posted by on May. 13, 2014 at 6:56 AM
  • 5 Replies

  First year of college all done going to pick up 19 yr old dau today worried that we need to get use to her being home  i want to have a few new rules here keep room clean and do laundry and not out to late. How do I go about it? 

by on May. 13, 2014 at 6:56 AM
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Replies (1-5):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2014 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this

Talk about all of it with her.  Let her have some input. Is she going to be working all summer ? When our boys came home we talked about living together as adults. Being respectful with each other while living together. Our thing was common areas must stay clean. If you aren't coming home please call by 10pm. That's when we usually go to bed. Over my washer is a sign "Don't start something you can't finish" My kids worked full time in the summers, so our lives didn't change all that much. The grocery bill sure did !!

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 13, 2014 at 9:48 AM

Just tell her.  I had no issues with my dd coming home, or my oldest that moved out and back.  They have no curfews.  If they want dinner they let me know.  College dd cooks anyway so never an issue there.  I don't ask what they are up to but because they are girls they tell me most of the time.  Even my 23 yo tells me what she is up to or when she is going to be working etc.  Today she told me she is going for a massage, giving a massage for someone and going to lunch.  I didn't ask. 

Bertieb
by Member on May. 13, 2014 at 1:39 PM

I feel your concern!!! SS came home yesterday. Our water bill goes up $20 per month when he is home, 2 showers a day 20 minutes each. He left his tennis shoes in the living room and they smelled so bad I had to leave the room. I told DH I thought there was a "foot issue" and he removed them. SS didn't notice the smell but it was a gagger. DH lit a candle and then teased me about criticizing SS. It was a tease but still, I know he doesn't want me to point out anything negative about his son ever.

Then poor guy tried to do his laundry for the first time at our house without saying he was doing it, and put the detergent in the "bleach only" tray. Not sure how many loads until I happened to swap one out for him and see it sitting in the tray! Yes, clearly marked, and this is a kid that got almost all A's in advanced courses. DH always told me he knew how to do laundry or I would have double checked. Plus, he kept doing the laundry after midnight, a side-effect of college hours. I'm wondering if my daughter was kept up, I'm sure she will tell me today if so. DH said he told him to respect that she is still in high school and has to get up, but he didn't know if it sunk in. I wanted to tell DH to go down and tell SS to stop for the night because the laundry is next to her room, but again, he would feel I was picking on SS.

SS also said he would get a job but I don't see him getting out there and really doing it since he's never ever had a job.  He will be allowed to stay up all night and sleep all day, literally. I wish I could raise him like my own kids. I would teach him how to do his laundry and I would make him get a job, not just for the money, but to have a resume builder, life experience, responsibility, and normal waking hours. If this sounds angry, I'm not. Just frustrated with his parents and shaking my head.

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 13, 2014 at 1:46 PM

Holy cow, I have never allowed staying up and sleeping all day.  I would make him get a job too.  These are the kids that are living at home with Mom and Dad at 40. 

Quoting Bertieb:

I feel your concern!!! SS came home yesterday. Our water bill goes up $20 per month when he is home, 2 showers a day 20 minutes each. He left his tennis shoes in the living room and they smelled so bad I had to leave the room. I told DH I thought there was a "foot issue" and he removed them. SS didn't notice the smell but it was a gagger. DH lit a candle and then teased me about criticizing SS. It was a tease but still, I know he doesn't want me to point out anything negative about his son ever.

Then poor guy tried to do his laundry for the first time at our house without saying he was doing it, and put the detergent in the "bleach only" tray. Not sure how many loads until I happened to swap one out for him and see it sitting in the tray! Yes, clearly marked, and this is a kid that got almost all A's in advanced courses. DH always told me he knew how to do laundry or I would have double checked. Plus, he kept doing the laundry after midnight, a side-effect of college hours. I'm wondering if my daughter was kept up, I'm sure she will tell me today if so. DH said he told him to respect that she is still in high school and has to get up, but he didn't know if it sunk in. I wanted to tell DH to go down and tell SS to stop for the night because the laundry is next to her room, but again, he would feel I was picking on SS.

SS also said he would get a job but I don't see him getting out there and really doing it since he's never ever had a job.  He will be allowed to stay up all night and sleep all day, literally. I wish I could raise him like my own kids. I would teach him how to do his laundry and I would make him get a job, not just for the money, but to have a resume builder, life experience, responsibility, and normal waking hours. If this sounds angry, I'm not. Just frustrated with his parents and shaking my head.


suesues
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2014 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this

she home all good but brought a ton of laundry which i told her to do i did sheet and towels 

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