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Crisis in the family with teenage girl.

Posted by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 1:45 AM
  • 18 Replies
My 19 years college student daughter dating 25 years old low life alcoholic. We were very much against it and she cut any connections with us. It is going on for 9 months. I tried to contact her on fb asking to come back and resolve issues but she said that she is not coming. Her brother went to dorm to talk to her and she call police without even seeing him. She blocked on fb all kids if our friends.
She always was very sensitive and caring child and now she turns into a monster. Her boyfriend is very controlling and doesn't want her to have any relationship with family and friends.
Now college is over and we don't know where she is.
I am terrified and don't know what to do. I am very depressed and can't find the way out of this situation. I wonder if anyone was going through similar experience. Please let me know
by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 1:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 1, 2014 at 1:51 AM
I feel for you but she is an adult. She has to figure out he is a loser herself. She knows you don't like him.
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gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 2:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately there isn't anyhting you really can do because she's an adult. The harder you push her the tighter she'll cling to the boyfriend.

curious644
by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 8:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Hope you are not supporting her finacially.

Elenageltzer
by Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 2:26 PM
We are not supporting her financially and took away her car
4HMomto3
by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry to say it, but she needs to learn this hard lesson on her own. The more you push it the more she will hide. 

Elenageltzer
by Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 6:09 PM
3 moms liked this
I Am looking for support group for parents with this kind of problem. If anyone has any information please let me know.
Thanks
Scurrilous
by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 6:19 PM
3 moms liked this

You need to cut her off.

The best thing my parents ever did was cut me off at age 20. I was at a state university and had my whole way paid. I decided to leave school to move in with my 24 year old boyfriend in another state and they cut my ass off in a heartbeat (which I know wasn't easy for them). I spent about two months working my ass off at a dead end serving job before I realized what a mistake I had made. I started going to my dad's almost every day to spend time with him and start gaining his trust back. Fast forward a year and I was no longer with the POS boyfriend (who was also an alcoholic), living on my own, and back in school. I credit their tough love as the reason my life is so great now. 

lancet98
by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 6:23 PM

She'll be back eventually.   Controlling alcoholic lowlife boyfriend will start hitting her and eventually she'll leave.

Welcome her back, be kind, listen, and try not to say I told you so.  It's something she has to learn for herself.

Elenageltzer
by Member on Jun. 1, 2014 at 7:11 PM
It took u 2 months to realize that uake a mistake . U was smart. My problem going on for 9 months. Also my daughter is heavy overweight and her self esteem is very low . This idiot telling her that the fatter she is the more he like her. It is so hard for me and my family. Thanks to all who responded.
Scurrilous
by on Jun. 1, 2014 at 7:54 PM

She can work at stopping it before it gets that far. Since she's an adult there's no guarantee but I shared my experience in a very similar situation and I know my attitude changed as soon as my parents cut me off and I got a dose of what it really meant to be an adult. 

If she wants to play Miss  Big Adult she can live life like a real adult and that doesn't include a ride to college, dorm life, etc. 


Quoting lancet98:

She'll be back eventually.   Controlling alcoholic lowlife boyfriend will start hitting her and eventually she'll leave.

Welcome her back, be kind, listen, and try not to say I told you so.  It's something she has to learn for herself.


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