Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Help! Feeding a teen boy UPDATE!!!!!!

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 6:14 AM
  • 42 Replies

First off let me say we feed our children, we had a problem with SS making people think we didn't have money to feed them. We have a strict budget & don't always have lots of extra food, but my children have never went to bed hungry.  In the past we have had government assistance & dh works hard to make sure we don't get to that point again (no offense).

When we first got SS on full time basis he was months shy of 10, he only ate chicken (mostly nugget form), ramen noodles, hot dogs, pizza basically junk type food.  According to dr he was overweight, he was short & chunky. After a while I told dh I would no longer cater, my rule is if your not allergic you eat it (no allergies in my fam). When they turn 18 & buy there own food they can choose what they eat.  Anyway he is now rapidly approaching 14 & has gotten tall & skinny, he still makes people think we don't feed him which is embarrassing to defend myself. He lies about most things to the point we believe nothing he says.  Our problem is he sneaks food constantly, he is so obvious about it, but we feel our portions are fine, on the other hand, he will eat until he literally makes himself sick if we give him free range.  He has admitted that he does this as recently as Memorial Day at a family gathering, but I don't usually say anything in front of mil because she jumps done my throat.  I've tried to explain to him that he doesn't need myself or his father to tell him he is full (you can see it in his face), his brain tells him.  He has snuck food to the point that he has aten enough meat that it could have been lunch for all 4 of us, which is usually what leftovers become. I try to meal plan & ingredients will be gone.  It's to the point that he isn't allowed downstairs without one of us for more then a few minutes.  We have physically seen him eat food when he was suppose to be putting it away & he still denies it.  He has even blamed it on his 2 yr old sister who can't even get in kitchen because there is a gate.  Any suggests on what to do?

meal examples (whole fam eats same):

Breakfast could be a bowl of cereal to eggs, pancakes, potatoes, meat, etc

Lunch could be anything from ramen noodles (whole pkg) to sandwich w/ apple sauce & chips to a full leftover meal

Dinner same as lunch basically with bigger portions

Dessert is not always given but sometimes we eat at 5 & sometime 8pm. Depending on our schedule, I usually try by 6:30

Memorial Day he ate 2 cheeseburgers, a hot dog, several deviled eggs, chips, cheese curls, a cupcake, cookies, watermelon, 2 cups of soda (which we don't give our kids a lot) all at one sitting then felt so sick he had to lay down on his cousins bed because he admits no one told him to stop eating!


UPDATE: I found a counseling place close by & he is going to start July 3.  

We also had a conversation about the situation, I asked him what we can do until he meets with someone.  I asked what he wants to eat & he said cereal for breakfast, pb & fluff for lunch, whatever for dinner, & a small snack like granola bar.  These are his exact words. I'm confused it's less then he eats now. Then I asked when he thinks he should be able to eat, he says breakfast at 7am (he doesn't even get up that early), lunch at 12pm, dinner at 4pm, & a small snack at 7pm. Again exact words. Huh?

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 6:14 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 6:45 AM

Psychiatric help. He has an eating disorder.

BradleysMom2014
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 7:45 AM

It seems he is bingeing. He is used to mindlessly eating, now that there is someone moderating his food intake and not just shoving crap into the cabinets he can't control himself... I would get him to a therapist or counselor or a dietition because your not going to be able to control it sense he can't control himself... He dosn't know what that signal in his brain means

atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 2, 2014 at 8:53 AM

This

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Psychiatric help. He has an eating disorder.


4HMomto3
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:31 AM

First I would start punishing him for the lying. He is way to old for that crap. It sounds like he may need some counseling, could bio-mom maybe put it in his head that he is not allowed to stop eating until he is told? If he was raised that way, that could be why he is doing it.  Teen boys do eat a lot but the whole not stopping because he wasn't told to, is an issue that needs addressed. 

cgarlic
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:59 AM

Bio mom is not in the picture by her choice for over a year now, even before she wasn't consistent. She is probably part of the problem.  He would come home from weekend visits & say all get ate was mcdonalds, dunkin donates & a plate of dip which is cream ch, sales & ch melted together served with chips.


my thing is he has been with us for four years now & if anything things (not just eating) have gotten worse

Quoting 4HMomto3:

First I would start punishing him for the lying. He is way to old for that crap. It sounds like he may need some counseling, could bio-mom maybe put it in his head that he is not allowed to stop eating until he is told? If he was raised that way, that could be why he is doing it.  Teen boys do eat a lot but the whole not stopping because he wasn't told to, is an issue that needs addressed. 


cgarlic
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:03 AM

And about the lying plus disrespect, attitude, etc he doesn't have anything in his room but a bed & clothes.  He doesn't have any electronics either & doesn't care.  The only thing he is allowed to do is be outside & read his bible. We try to tell him he can earn things back, he just sits outside or in his room by choice.  Sometimes we add extra chores, but he does them half ass

Quoting 4HMomto3:

First I would start punishing him for the lying. He is way to old for that crap. It sounds like he may need some counseling, could bio-mom maybe put it in his head that he is not allowed to stop eating until he is told? If he was raised that way, that could be why he is doing it.  Teen boys do eat a lot but the whole not stopping because he wasn't told to, is an issue that needs addressed. 


Hannahluvsdogs
by Silver Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:17 AM
1 mom liked this

He definitely needs counseling. This behavior isn't about food, it goes much deeper than that.

cgarlic
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:48 PM

Bump

cybcm
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:55 PM
4 moms liked this
There is some huge gaps there, it seems like two ends of a scale.

I'll throw it out there, my son is a bottomless food disposal, he's 17 now but when I think back to when he was 14 it was the same deal. A sandwich would have in no way filled him up, and apple sauce and crisps are quick burning junk that don't fill you up. Most cereals are pretty empty too. Ramen noodles same deal, quick burning, little nutrients.

Then you say he eats what he did on memorial day, and that is clearly too much.

To me this screams emotional eating. His bio mother isn't in the picture, that alone is a big thing to take on. He has nothing by the sounds of it (what's the deal with only being allowed to be outside and read his bible?) When all control is taken away often people control eat, that can be restrictive or binging. It sounds to me like the whole family needs help working together.
Sorry, but some of your portions sound no where near enough for a teenage boy, add that in with a very limited amount of things to do at home, no possessions, he has to have some autonomy somewhere, and it seems like binging is the route he has taken.
MidwestMama55
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 3:09 PM
3 moms liked this

The Memorial Day thing - that's not necessarily too much food for a teenage boy. Not saying there aren't other issues, but If he's hungry, he should eat. I do support that you are not wanting him to eat junk food. But ramen noodles are not a meal. Teen boys eat ALOT. I have a tall skinny teen boy. His lunch can be 2 peanut butter sandwiches, a piece of fruit, bag of chips, 4-5 granola bars, and a couple of glasses of milk. And he can be starving again in 2 hours.

Not sure what to tell you. I understand money is tight. But food rationing for a child doesn't seem like a great idea. Our teens can eat as much as they want, as long as it's reasonably healthy food. Teens, particularly boys, can eat every couple of hours, from morning until bedtime.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN