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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

** Update**Upset with my 16 year old son

Posted by on Jun. 5, 2014 at 7:45 PM
  • 31 Replies

He will be 17 in a few months.I just found out his 17 year old girlfriend is pregnant. I told him he needs to get a job he doesnt want to do that.I told him he can live with me but had to get a job and start taking on responsibilty.He has not even try to get a job .He does not want to stay with me unless girlfriend can stay which I will not allow so he's with her at her moms house.Husband told me him he made adult choices and needs to be an adult and get a place of their own.I know they made adult choices but I think he should be able to live with us and get a job and get ready for baby but I will not let the girl move in with us.I would like yo hear advice from other parents that have been through this or going through this.I think my husband should allow son to stay here as long as he his trying to help his self.Iknow what he done is an adult choice but it happened .Any advice??

by on Jun. 5, 2014 at 7:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BrutalTruth
by on Jun. 5, 2014 at 7:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Nwver been in this situation, but hypothetically speaking, I wouldnt let thr girlfriend move in either if he wasn't attempting to do something for himself and the baby he helped make. Really, I wouldn't let her move in either way. Just because they made a kid doesn't mean they should get to play house in your home, while you foot the bill.
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jun. 5, 2014 at 7:54 PM
2 moms liked this

Never been in that situation and hope I NEVER am; but I would never allow the partner to move into my house. My son would be getting a job and we'd be saving all the money until paternity could be confirmed. He would be expected to step up or leave our house.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 5, 2014 at 11:41 PM

This, and I have girls. 

Quoting BrutalTruth: Nwver been in this situation, but hypothetically speaking, I wouldnt let thr girlfriend move in either if he wasn't attempting to do something for himself and the baby he helped make. Really, I wouldn't let her move in either way. Just because they made a kid doesn't mean they should get to play house in your home, while you foot the bill.


suesues
by Silver Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 7:45 AM

I agree with you no girlfriend moving in they had there fun now reality must kick in what do her parents think?

sweetdaisyv1
by New Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 8:19 PM
2 moms liked this
Tough love, tell him to move out cuz otherwise he thinks he can slack he wants to play an adult let him, told my son he needed to have a job by time hes 18 or hes out he is not going to be one of those lazy guys who won't do anything he needs to be a man and if i have to push him out so be it he will thank me for it later
Homealonex2
by New Member on Jun. 6, 2014 at 11:19 PM
I've never been in this situation but, if I was you bet the girl and the baby could move in. This way I know fir a fact mu grandchild is being cared for. I've always worried about this having a boy. The baby normally stays with the mother and the father has no day. If given choices they would stay with us.
Saphira1207
by Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 12:51 AM

Well, lets see, If I had room I'd probably let the girl stay so long as they had separate rooms.  They would also have to agree to a written list of expectations for their behavior and help with the household bills.  The consequences for not abiding by the terms of the agreement would also be written down and signed by all involved, including the girls parents and everyone would be given a copy.

But that's the way I parent anyway.  I have a written list of house rules taped to the wall where they always see it and a list of consequences.  I like transparency in that regard and the lists make it easier when i have to punish them for something, which rarely happens.

And I modify it as they get older to account for the more adult issues that are arising.

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 12:23 PM
Yup.
Tough love.
I would do the same too.

Quoting sweetdaisyv1: Tough love, tell him to move out cuz otherwise he thinks he can slack he wants to play an adult let him, told my son he needed to have a job by time hes 18 or hes out he is not going to be one of those lazy guys who won't do anything he needs to be a man and if i have to push him out so be it he will thank me for it later
lucky3x
by Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 8:48 AM

Have they considered adoption? There are so many couples out there that would love to adopt their baby. They could give it a loving stable home. Much better then being raised by 2 unmarried teenagers with no means of support.

jorgus
by New Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 10:39 AM

BUMP!

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