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Being a Strict Parent Has 1 Major Drawback

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 9:36 AM
  • 8 Replies

Being a Strict Parent Has 1 Major Drawback ‚Äč

by Maressa Brown

people drinking and smokingThe conventional wisdom about parenting has typically been that more lenient parents are likely to have kids who behave badly, while those who are stricter are most likely keeping their children in check. Turns out, the opposite may be true, according to new research from the European Institute of Studies on Prevention. The study, conducted in six European countries and aimed at finding out what parenting style works best to prevent drug use, founds that kids, aged 11 to 19, with strict parents were more likely to use drugs like marijuana, tobacco, and alcohol.

The researchers' conclusion? Surprise, surprise! Striking a happy balance between being a dictator and trying to be a kid's BFF.

"Extremes are not effective -- neither authoritarianism nor absence of control and affection," Amador Calafat, the main author of the study, told the journal Drug and Alcohol Dependence. Sounds about right! Furthermore, the researchers note that the best disciplinary action depends on the situation. And when it comes to steering kids in the right direction with drugs, having a good relationship with kids is most important.

Obviously, parents who make a point of being strict 24/7 no matter what challenge their child is facing aren't going to have the most open lines of communication with their kids. Kids aren't going to be comfortable asking questions or being honest with folks who adhere to a rigid parenting style.

It's proof positive that strict parents are shooting themselves in the foot by being so unrelenting. In the end, looks like too much of anything, particularly rule-mongering, is sure to backfire.

Does this change how you feel about disciplining your kids?

by on Jun. 14, 2014 at 9:36 AM
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Replies (1-8):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 14, 2014 at 9:39 AM

I was fairly strict and mine didn't use drugs or alcohol. You can be strict and have a good relationship with your kids. 

natural_s
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 11:57 AM

Nope.

I am strict with my children and my children come and talk to me about anything, and  they have not gotten into any drugs, alcohol. I also make it very clear to them that I am not their buddy but their parent and it has not made them less talkative or afraid to approach me.

So I agree with atlmom that you can be strict and have a good enough relationship with your children where they are not afraid to approach you and talk.

cybcm
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2014 at 4:53 PM
My parents were very strict and I was hooked on cocaine (among many other life choices that were just terrible).

We're not strict and no drug problems here.

I put that down to my kids being more loved than I ever was, not strictness of parenting though.
brownsugar1981
by New Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I have two big rules in my house 1) pick up after yourself (still getting that one to work) and 2) don't lie, they get in more trouble when they lie then when they ever tell me the truth. 

I have a 13yr and I have a great relationship with her so far. She tells me everything and even asks for advise. I hope that my younger two can do the same when they get to her age. 

my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Look at the source of the study. Sorry, European parenting styles, especially those from northern countries are not that impressive.
LuvingMy3Girls
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 7:41 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm pretty laid-back and my daughter is wonderful and talks to me about everything. On the other hand my parents were very strict and I was a nightmare as a teenager. I absolutely believe the study to be correct
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Tal0n
by Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 2:30 PM

Total crock.

lucky3x
by Member on Jun. 17, 2014 at 8:06 AM

I think it depends on their definition of strict. You can be loving and strict which obviously works or you can be cold and strict which can create problems.

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