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handling daughter's dating life?

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:18 AM
  • 7 Replies
How do you other moms handle your daughter having a boyfriend? I know I am pretty strict on my daughter. She is 17 and her boyfriend is 16. It's been a month but we had an issue with lying with the last one so I'm still hesitant to give her much freedom . I'm just curious if I'm the only one?
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-7):
juli84
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 11:52 AM
My son isn't dating yet.. Here's a BUMP
Maime13
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:11 PM

My oldest has never had a girlfriend so I can't speak from parental experienc.

What was the lie?

dflygirl7
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 2:13 PM

My DD was 17 and her boyfriend was 16. They went out for over a year and were very committed to each other. She did lie to me, as she knew I wanted her to wait as long as possible to have sex, but they arranged it and it happened. They were supposedly going out to dinner. Before and after I found out, I was adamant that she be careful to use protection, even double up! She was pretty boy crazy in high school, but she at least waited until she was in a long term relationship with a really nice guy.

I always kept track of her whereabouts, but even so, she had her freedom with the car, and in all other areas was trustworthy. We had good communication, even though we didn't agree on everything.

(They broke up after she left for college.  She ended up being diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, and hasn't really had a long term relationship since.)

With our son, we limited him to waiting to date until 16. He is one month shy, and now has a girlfriend who is 18 and just graduated. She's a doll, and every parent that knows her and knows my son tell me I have nothing to wory about, but I still do, it's just the way it is. They need to gain our trust first, and then we give a little more freedom, educating as gently as possible all the way.

What did your DD lie about last time? 

atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 29, 2014 at 2:33 PM
1 mom liked this

 She is 17.  What was the lying about?  Maybe a happy medium is better than being ultra strict.  Can she talk to you at all and do you listen? 

chell77
by Member on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:07 PM

I just found out my 16 yr dd had sex recent too. We talk about sex to our girls. She told us last year she want to try it but she is scare about when she told us that. Right away we put her on bc and this year she got depo shot becuase she her period is pain and crample really bad and heavy. She is pretty and guys want her but she wont put out till she had long relationship and who care for her because who she is. They broke up today becuase he think she cheat on him and he was to clingy and she doesnt put up with that. But we had open relationship and she is good child. Now we afraid she go had sex with random guys now but she told us she doesnt care about sex she want to be single and hangout with her friend.

My 14 yr who is going to be 15 yr. Have been dating this boy he is big boy and he really nice and do anything for our daughter. My youngest have adhd and odd and depression and anxiety and mood swing. She is to sentive she had her ups and down. She can be mean to anyone or hurt herself but her bf is always there for her matter how she treat him. I am not racical becuase he is black and as long he treat her good. We dont care. She been dating him over year they date in 8th grade they both going to be sophmore. She doesnt want to have sex at all. She just want to hangout and do stuff with him. My sibling like him and he is good with her cousins.

But we had talk about sex and protection and she is also on bc. In case she is ready but she is type of girl who is going to wait. Yes my youngest see therapist and see physic dr becuase her behavior problem. But we want to trust our girl and we are not mad or disappointment becuase my oldest had sex lil upset becuase she didnt wait but we knew it going to happen matter what. What we see if they want to do it and matter what we do about it. They will find away doing it and we all teens before and I know how it is becuase my sister and I did samething my sister had sex at 16 and our parent didnt put us on bc and she got pregant at 17yr and i wait till 2 week before 18 yr and got pregant at 19. So my sister and I was pregant at same time but she was 6 month head of me. So we can tell what is going on with our girls but I want to be there for them not pushing them away.

8chickens
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:21 PM

She's a 17yr old young woman soon to be an 18yr old legal adult.  If you do not back off she will start doing thing just to spite you. There is nothing you can do to stop her from having a boyfriend etc.

Serendipitous1
by on Jun. 30, 2014 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this
In answer to your question. I give my DD guided freedom with dating her BF. We talk about EVERYTHING (even the uncomfortable subjects). I also keep an open dialog with his parents, too - so we are all on the same page. We are both aware that the two want alone time, but we do not ever leave them without supervision. It's a challenge, but I feel DD needs to be guided to protect her emotionally, physically and socially as she starts dating. Hope my story helps you. Best wishes.
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