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My son is not a virgin anymo

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:45 PM
  • 27 Replies

Hello all, 

I just found out that my son lost his virginity last night. He didn't tell me but he told my BF. My son just turned 18 and yes I know I have to let him grow up but I'm upset because he just met this girl! He met her online and coincidentally this girls brother lives in the same town that we do and visits him during the summer. My son only hung out with her twice then had sex with her! Yes I have talked to him about sex numerous times and the importance of using condoms from pregnancy and stds. We bought him condoms but I honestly thought they would just sit in his drawer. I am upset and scared, disappointed, afraid, and all that! I'm heart broken! My bf told me that my son has already told this girl that he loves her! He just met her! My son also has a severe learning disability and is very gullible. He is a sweetheart and will believe anything anyone tells him. He is also a big country boy and I was shocked cause this girl is more goth looking. Deep red dyed hair, lots of black makeup, half her head was shaved. I guess I just pictured my son with someone more like him is all. Yes, I know I am a very protective mom! I can't help it! He is my only child and I can't have anymore kids! 

So how did y'all react when you found out your son lost his virhinity? How did you act towards him afterwards? How do you cope that your child is now sexual active? 

Please no hateful posts



by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 12:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 29, 2014 at 1:05 PM
2 moms liked this

I am with you.  He is 18, but just meeting a girl and having sex, is an issue to me.  Casual sex is just a no no to me.  I have girls and this girl seems way too easy, something I wouldn't want if I had son's or for my girls.  Telling her he loves her after only meeting 2 times is way scary too even though I think teens do seem to say that way too early now.  My 23 yo was older than 18 when she had sex for the first time and in a committed relationship.  This would be an issue for me and I can't even say what I would do or how I would react. 

mother3boys1gir
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 2:51 PM
2 moms liked this

my son is 17 and Im sure Ill be just like you when it happens, he has so many girls that come to the door for him. I just want him to finish school and go to collge like he wants, Im afraid of him not being able to if he gets some time alone and does something he shouldnt do. He always says to me mom Im not stupid. and I know he isnt, Im just being a mom I guess. I tell him that I love him and worry thats all and I know he is 17 but to me he is my baby. Im goin to have a hard time lettin him go. and I have 3 younger then him.

8chickens
by on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:28 PM

He's an adult man, he will have sex. I expect you and you DH have sex, how should he handle that fact? You treat him as a man and your son. Nothing changed it is a part of life, he did not do drugs, go to jail, etc. You just have to suck it up and accept it.


atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 29, 2014 at 4:39 PM

Its not really the sex, it is having sex so fast that would bother me.  I mean talk about an easy girl.  Is that who the OP really wants her son with? 

Quoting 8chickens:

He's an adult man, he will have sex. I expect you and you DH have sex, how should he handle that fact? You treat him as a man and your son. Nothing changed it is a part of life, he did not do drugs, go to jail, etc. You just have to suck it up and accept it.



GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 4:44 AM
1 mom liked this

I have a daughter who has the same behaviours as your son - yet I can SEE her falling for a 'bad boy' and being taken advantage of - who is also a adult. Yes you do in some regards have to 'butt out' because he CAN have sex with whomever he likes in whatever situation now - but that does not mean you cannot talk to him and express your concerns. Tell him that you love him and that you just want to talk as adults about the situation. That might  make him more open to communicating

cybcm
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 4:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 I wouldn't say she's easy at all. Manipulative, maybe, but certainly not easy.
She got someone to sleep with her and profess their love to her in two days, generally the one not professing love after such a short period of time is the one in control.

Quoting atlmom2:

Its not really the sex, it is having sex so fast that would bother me.  I mean talk about an easy girl.  Is that who the OP really wants her son with? 

Quoting 8chickens:

He's an adult man, he will have sex. I expect you and you DH have sex, how should he handle that fact? You treat him as a man and your son. Nothing changed it is a part of life, he did not do drugs, go to jail, etc. You just have to suck it up and accept it.

 

 

 

atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 30, 2014 at 6:27 PM

Anyone that sleeps with someone that fast is easy.  Maybe manipulative too.  All in all, your son gave in.  He had a choice too and decided to sleep with her.  It takes 2 to tango.  They were both to blame. 

Quoting cybcm:

 I wouldn't say she's easy at all. Manipulative, maybe, but certainly not easy. She got someone to sleep with her and profess their love to her in two days, generally the one not professing love after such a short period of time is the one in control.

Quoting atlmom2:

Its not really the sex, it is having sex so fast that would bother me.  I mean talk about an easy girl.  Is that who the OP really wants her son with? 

Quoting 8chickens:

He's an adult man, he will have sex. I expect you and you DH have sex, how should he handle that fact? You treat him as a man and your son. Nothing changed it is a part of life, he did not do drugs, go to jail, etc. You just have to suck it up and accept it.





cybcm
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 6:38 PM
My son gave in?
Crap, this is news to me.

Quoting atlmom2:

Anyone that sleeps with someone that fast is easy.  Maybe manipulative too.  All in all, your son gave in.  He had a choice too and decided to sleep with her.  It takes 2 to tango.  They were both to blame. 

Quoting cybcm:

 I wouldn't say she's easy at all. Manipulative, maybe, but certainly not easy. She got someone to sleep with her and profess their love to her in two days, generally the one not professing love after such a short period of time is the one in control.


Quoting atlmom2:

Its not really the sex, it is having sex so fast that would bother me.  I mean talk about an easy girl.  Is that who the OP really wants her son with? 


Quoting 8chickens:

He's an adult man, he will have sex. I expect you and you DH have sex, how should he handle that fact? You treat him as a man and your son. Nothing changed it is a part of life, he did not do drugs, go to jail, etc. You just have to suck it up and accept it.




atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 30, 2014 at 6:59 PM

He had sex with her. He could have said no and walked away. 

Quoting cybcm: My son gave in? Crap, this is news to me.
Quoting atlmom2:

Anyone that sleeps with someone that fast is easy.  Maybe manipulative too.  All in all, your son gave in.  He had a choice too and decided to sleep with her.  It takes 2 to tango.  They were both to blame. 

Quoting cybcm:

 I wouldn't say she's easy at all. Manipulative, maybe, but certainly not easy. She got someone to sleep with her and profess their love to her in two days, generally the one not professing love after such a short period of time is the one in control.

Quoting atlmom2:

Its not really the sex, it is having sex so fast that would bother me.  I mean talk about an easy girl.  Is that who the OP really wants her son with? 

Quoting 8chickens:

He's an adult man, he will have sex. I expect you and you DH have sex, how should he handle that fact? You treat him as a man and your son. Nothing changed it is a part of life, he did not do drugs, go to jail, etc. You just have to suck it up and accept it.






cybcm
by Silver Member on Jun. 30, 2014 at 7:10 PM
No, I'm pretty sure my son didn't have sex with this girl...

Quoting atlmom2:

He had sex with her. He could have said no and walked away. 

Quoting cybcm: My son gave in?
Crap, this is news to me.

Quoting atlmom2:

Anyone that sleeps with someone that fast is easy.  Maybe manipulative too.  All in all, your son gave in.  He had a choice too and decided to sleep with her.  It takes 2 to tango.  They were both to blame. 

Quoting cybcm:

 I wouldn't say she's easy at all. Manipulative, maybe, but certainly not easy. She got someone to sleep with her and profess their love to her in two days, generally the one not professing love after such a short period of time is the one in control.


Quoting atlmom2:

Its not really the sex, it is having sex so fast that would bother me.  I mean talk about an easy girl.  Is that who the OP really wants her son with? 


Quoting 8chickens:

He's an adult man, he will have sex. I expect you and you DH have sex, how should he handle that fact? You treat him as a man and your son. Nothing changed it is a part of life, he did not do drugs, go to jail, etc. You just have to suck it up and accept it.




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