I'm at a loss. I have a 15 (almost 16) year old daughter who will be a junior this coming school year. She is overall a pretty good kid, she's never had anything but a 4.0 in school, she's class secretary and on the varsity cheer leading squad. She doesn't drink or smoke, she hangs out with a good group of kids and doesn't break curfew. So here's the problem. She's hateful, rude and expects everything to be her way. What's worse is that she doesn't think she's like this at all, she thinks the rest of our family is like that. I know that most of this is normal teen girl stuff but there are a few things that I don't know how to fix. First is that my husband adopted her when she was 4, we started dating right at her 2nd birthday and they instantly had a great relationship. We had another daughter when she was 3 (he wanted to adopt our oldest before our other daughter was born but her biological father wouldn't communicate with us or the court so it took a little longer), my husband has NEVER treated either daughter any differently. My oldest and my husband had a really good relationship until about 2 years ago. I know that sometimes girls will drift from their dads when they hit puberty and such, it's hard for the dads because they don't understand and it's hard for the daughters because they feel different. Anyway, she tells me that she feels that her dad doesn't love her, that they don't have anything in common and that he never talks to her, he tries, she shuts him down. Lately our big thing is that almost 5 years ago my husband got a job that's 40 min. away from home, we had always considered moving but the timing never seemed right. Well, he recently got promoted which means better pay but some longer hours. He's really pressing to move but I feel conflicted, I have no issue moving personally but I don't think it's fair to move our oldest when she only has 2 years left of school. My youngest will be going into her sophomore year after my oldest graduates so we'll have to reevaluate moving then. This has been a big argument for my husband and I, he feels that we're the parents and what we say goes, but I feel like we're messing with our daughter's future by moving now. Like I said above, she's an exceptional student, she's also enrolled in 2 college classes next year (that are free through our high school and local college, she has 1 credit from last year), plus she will have the opportunity to enroll for 2 more her senior year, she will also have a college math credit when she graduates because she's been in our school's accelerated math program since 7th grade. She's a natural introvert, she does have friends and seems pretty popular, but she's also known these kids since kindergarten, it took a lot for her to join cheer leading, it's not in her nature. I'm just worried that if we move her grades will suffer. My other daughter on the other hand is super outgoing and loves meeting new people, she's all for moving and is excited.
We've pretty much decided to drop the issue about moving until my oldest graduates but now I feel angry at her because she acts so damn ungrateful! She could show some gratitude for the sacrifice her dad is making, he works long and hard to provide for our family, yet she still acts indifferent towards him, hateful to her sister and overall entitled, which then just makes me want to say "screw it!" and move now. If she's going to act this way regardless then why wait. Ugh, anyway, I'm so sorry about the really long post.