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Advice Needed: 14 yr old wants to date the same sex...

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 2:08 PM
  • 27 Replies

14 yr old says she is bi. She is asking me for permission to go on a double date with another girl. Should I let her go? Understand, that I will love her and accept her no matter what her preferences are, but at the same time I know that it is still an "easier" life for those who are straight. And selfish of me, I want biological grandchildren someday. And, is it wrong of me to fear that if I let her go it could reinforce her desires? I am soooo very confused!

by on Jul. 16, 2014 at 2:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 3:14 PM
4 moms liked this

If she wanted to go on a date with a BOY, what would you say? You give the exact same answer whether it's a boy or a girl. For me, 14 is too young to date ANYONE.

Even if she was straight, you have no guarantee of biological grandchildren. So put that thought out of your head. Your family is always complete, no matter how many are in it.

Maime13
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I was going to say the same thing. 14 is too young for romantic relationships of any type, IMO. It's not a bi/gay/straight thing. It's a maturity thing.

woodswalker
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 5:41 PM
2 moms liked this

My 14 year old is dating but it's a boy who's been her best friend for years and they only get together when supervised or with other friends.   I wouldn't have a problem with her dating a girl as long as I knew the girl and liked her.    Your daughter being straight is no guarantee of getting grandchildren and her being gay is no guarantee you won't.    I know many straight couples with no kids and many gays and lesbians who are parents.   So my opinion is....meet the girl she wants to date first and have supervised get togethers.  Pizza and movie night at your house.  Or a backyard BBQ.  Then take it from there.   I know a lot of moms opinions are that 14 is too young to date. But when I was a teen the kids who were forbidden to date we're the ones climbing out their windows during the night and hooking up.  So I've let my kids do supervised dating and it's working fine.  

ladyvamp5489
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 5:42 PM

thats to young to date period!

mom23heathens
by Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 5:45 PM
Is it the idea of her dating or that it's a same sex date that bothers you. I agree with the first reply.
erika9009
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 5:50 PM

14 is a tad young for sure.

However, since it seems to be happening, I will try and help. 

Tell her what you think that boys will be easier to date, but you will support whatever she decides is right for her.  If you forbid her, she will probably do something anyway.

I was attracted to other girls at 14, but it was not socially acceptable then to date other girls.  My daughter (16) who has a bf and is sexually actives says it's pretty well accepted for girls to date.

I think we are all kind of confused at 14.  So, she may just think this is a good way to go.

I also would not worry about getting grandkids at this point.

OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this

It wouldn't matter to me if she wanted to date a boy or a girl.  I think 14 is too young for one on one dates, but group dates would be ok with me. 

 

chrisser1
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 6:15 PM

Oh wow that is a tough one!  I'd just tell her she can't start dating till she's 16! That will give her time to figure things out a little bit. 

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2014 at 8:40 PM
I would tell her not to label herself at 14 because she will go through a lot of struggles and decision changes. I would also tell her no dating at 14, because I want her to have those extra 2 years at growing and learning about herself. Then at 16, she may date whoever she pleases.
suesues
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 8:07 AM

too young either way

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