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need advice before I just snap.

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2014 at 1:37 PM
  • 15 Replies
Hello, my name is Tracey. I am the mom of three daughters, one is grown and gone, one is 18 and just graduated and looking into college. My last one is 16 and is going to be the death of me. She is just wanting to do what ever she wants, take what ever she feels like. I just cant figure out gow to make her listen. Last night she left our home while we were sleeping. I only figured it out by the bench by our side window this morning and the dog barking at 430 this morning. I didnt catch her in the act so she says she didnt. But I know she did. I dont know how to get this child to listen. So very stressed out, and having panic attacks.
by on Jul. 21, 2014 at 1:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 2:34 PM

Hmmm. My first thought is an alarm system so she can't sneak out without waking you.

by Susie on Jul. 21, 2014 at 6:42 PM
Alarm system.
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by on Jul. 21, 2014 at 7:19 PM

My mom called the police on me.  I would also sneak out and if I had that issue I would pay for an alarm system.  Everything dangerous happens after midnight my mother used to say..... probably right in retrospect. 

by Member on Jul. 21, 2014 at 9:31 PM

It is not a court of do NOT need positive proof.  You know she snuck out gone, keys gone, allowance cut, no door on room, whatever you need to do to get her attention!  For me, the ultimate threat (and one I only had to follow through on one time in middle school) was "if you can't follow the rules and I can't trust you I will go EVERYWHERE with you, work, school, hang out with your friends, whatever.  I will dress in that outfit that always embarasses you and tell everyone I am with you because you are just too mentally "little" to take care of yourself so Mommy has to."  Good luck.

by Grumpy on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:08 AM

 What have you already tried?

by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 7:06 AM

alarm or some how follow her or install camera find out wht she is up too

by Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 7:09 AM
Wait until she is asleep and put a tracker app on her phone.
by Bronze Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 11:47 AM

Well...we recently had an alarm installed that has 2 cameras, one by the front door and one by the back.  My husband set it up so that if a door opens after midnight, the camera will turn on and record who is going in or out.  Not sure if it can be set up that way for windows?  In any case if you had an alarm you could at least set it at night and if she doesn't know the code, she will set the alarm off when she tries to sneak out.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 22, 2014 at 12:59 PM

I agree with the mom who said "call the police".  Tell her in advance that you'll be doing random bed checks every night -- if she's not in her bed then you'll be calling the police.  Make sure you look through her contacts on her phone and write them down -- make sure she knows you're doing this as you do it.  Check her texts and e-mails every night and take her phone and all computer equipment away from her at a certain time each night so she cannot communicate with anyone after that time.  I was a horrible teenager -- we didn't have all the electronics so it wasn't as easy to track us -- still the police found me...  When I think of what could've happened to me in my stupid, stupid teenage years -- my daughter knows there is no privacy in my house -- she hands over her phone when I ask for it (which has been once in the past year), her father is a computer guy so her phone shuts off from 9 p.m. - 8 a.m. every night except to call him, me or my mother and her computer activity shows up on his computer which came in really handy when her phone and iPad were hacked on a wifi at a hotel last January and they started doing some really pornographic stuff behind the scenes of her e-mail.  Again, luckily, dad is able to fix all of this stuff -- I would be clueless.

by on Jul. 22, 2014 at 1:23 PM

It's always the last ones isn't it... LOL...leave it to the 3rd one to be the death of you. Well, let's alarm system is great but costs a lot of $$ which everyone may not have. I would simply take her phone at bedtime... no phone, no opportunity to make plans, etc. Then i would set my own alarm for a couple of random times and check in with her...  Yes, it sucks more for you to have to get up but maybe she'll get the idea! Then I would tell her if she is gone, your plan is to call the police and have an amber alert issued so everyone will know. No granted, they won't issue one but maybe she'll get freaked out.

Ugh... if kids only realized what could happen to them in the middle of the night while sneaking out!!

Good luck!!!

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