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What do you do when you find an inapropiate conversation in your dd's facebook

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:19 AM
  • 16 Replies

A few years ago we had this same issue with sexual conversations in facebook.  she lost her phone and facebook and all privacy for about a year. She slowly built up trust again. I have however always retained the right to check her fb and texts from time to time.  it had become a very rare occurance since she seemed to be trustworthy again.  Well this morning I happened to see her fb and within 10 seconds I saw a conversation that was gross.  I'm taking her phone and facebook away and she wont get her phone back till she is back in school  and for a long while she will only have her phone while she's in school.  But I don't want her to just not do these things becasue she doesnt have access.  How do i get into her head that she needs to respect her self. She's such a smart kid like really really smart with an amazing future ahead of her yet she does such stupid things.

by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Maime13
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:32 AM

Was this a conversation on her public wall or a private message?

Msgme
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:33 AM


Quoting Maime13:

Was this a conversation on her public wall or a private message?

This was private message.

Maime13
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:46 AM

Darn! I was going to suggest reminding her that college admissions can and do check FB pages of applicants.

How old is she again? 16?

Msgme
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:51 AM
Quoting Maime13:

Darn! I was going to suggest reminding her that college admissions can and do check FB pages of applicants.

How old is she again? 16?

She's only 15  she wont be 16 until november.

Maime13
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:07 AM

That's tough. What was the nature of the conversation? I mean was she talking to a friend about something or talking with a potential partner? I guess what I'm asking is was she having conversation about something that did happen, was going to happen or just "talking"? Kwim? Was this conversation just a tiny part of a bigger picture that would be very worrisome or was it harmless (not necessarily the correct word) teenage bluster?

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:19 AM


Quoting Msgme:


Quoting Maime13:

Was this a conversation on her public wall or a private message?

This was private message.

shut down her FB account she is too young. Put locks on you electronics so she can not get on these sites. Remove text feature from her phone. Tell her because she "doesn't get it" you are trying to protect her. My teens didnt have FB until college.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

Msgme
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:21 AM


Quoting Maime13:

That's tough. What was the nature of the conversation? I mean was she talking to a friend about something or talking with a potential partner? I guess what I'm asking is was she having conversation about something that did happen, was going to happen or just "talking"? Kwim? Was this conversation just a tiny part of a bigger picture that would be very worrisome or was it harmless (not necessarily the correct word) teenage bluster?

She was talking to a boy she thinks is her boyfriend about what they are going to do when he gets back from his vacation in china.  Things like she is horny and she wants to be on top of him.


Msgme
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:23 AM


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Quoting Msgme:


Quoting Maime13:

Was this a conversation on her public wall or a private message?

This was private message.

shut down her FB account she is too young. Put locks on you electronics so she can not get on these sites. Remove text feature from her phone. Tell her because she "doesn't get it" you are trying to protect her. My teens didnt have FB until college.

I took the phone and de activated fb.  i have restricted internet access to the computers and they need to ask permission to turn it on for the password. which will change often so that her sliblings don't give her the PW. 

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Msgme:


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Quoting Msgme:


Quoting Maime13:

Was this a conversation on her public wall or a private message?

This was private message.

shut down her FB account she is too young. Put locks on you electronics so she can not get on these sites. Remove text feature from her phone. Tell her because she "doesn't get it" you are trying to protect her. My teens didnt have FB until college.

I took the phone and de activated fb.  i have restricted internet access to the computers and they need to ask permission to turn it on for the password. which will change often so that her sliblings don't give her the PW. 

        Good she needs to understand just how serious putting the wrong stuff out there can be, even if its in private message. I worked for a guy that was hired by companies to do internet security. Private texts can be read .

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

Maime13
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 11:09 AM

Is that a thing that could happen? I mean, do they actually spend time alone?

Yes, no phone is a start but it's a bigger issue at it's core. It's so hard to find the line between normal teen sexual exploration and just straight up not cool. And it's also tough because cell phones weren't even a thing when I was a kid let alone messenging, social media, etc.

I know that 15, for me, is too young for boyfriends and dating.

Quoting Msgme:


Quoting Maime13:

That's tough. What was the nature of the conversation? I mean was she talking to a friend about something or talking with a potential partner? I guess what I'm asking is was she having conversation about something that did happen, was going to happen or just "talking"? Kwim? Was this conversation just a tiny part of a bigger picture that would be very worrisome or was it harmless (not necessarily the correct word) teenage bluster?

She was talking to a boy she thinks is her boyfriend about what they are going to do when he gets back from his vacation in china.  Things like she is horny and she wants to be on top of him.



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