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Teenage Twin Trouble

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:44 PM
  • 25 Replies

Firstly, this is my first time posting here so small bit of background. I have identical twins, Alexandra and Andrea, more commonly know as Alex and Andi. From birth they have been inseparable and my husband Dave and I always thought that they would outgrow. However, they haven't. At sixteen, going on seventeen, they still dress the same, share a room (we tried to give them seperate rooms when they were younger and they always ended up in the same bed), even share friends and I'm worried that it may be unhealthy for them. By no means do I want to forcibly split my children up but I worry about their dependence on one another. They have the same class schedules and my husband and I when they started high school tried to get them to not share every class. They just about had a fit and went and changed their schedules so they would be with one another again. They finish each other's sentence, talk in sync sometimes. They make zero effort to differentiate themselves. They let everybody run around making guesses as to which one is which and we have gotten calls from teachers about Alex responding Andi's name and Andi responding to Alex's name! My main concern is that they'll be seniors this year and that means college is coming up. I'm worried that their dependence on one another will adversely affect them. By the way, don't call me a bad parent but even I can't tell them apart. I've also included a link to imgur that has a few photos from our Christmas cards so you could see our predicament. 
P.S, I'm not saying that their attachment is wrong, I'm simply worried they may be too close.
imgur.com/a/dopoQ

by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KeepOnTryin
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:46 PM
Is your pediatrician concerned?

Oh btw, they're very pretty.
JackieB45
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:49 PM

They no longer see a pediatrician, they see a regular doctor. They are very healthy so they only go in three or four times a year. She does find it strange that they want to constantly be with one another but she believes they'll grow out of it.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:58 PM
I would have insisted in HS they not take the same classes. They sound way too dependant for their ages on one another.
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JackieB45
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:04 PM

That's exactly what my husband and I have tried to do multiple times! We try at least twice a semester and though the the school respects our wishes, the girls just go and change it again behind our backs. The school has what they call a responsibility policy, where students can change their scheldules as they wish without needing parents to know. We've gone to the principal but he just shrugs it off.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:11 PM
Are they planning on going to the same college? I would insist they go to different schools. They are too close. Just my opinion. One or both are gonna lose it when the other gets married and moves if they don't get their own identity.

Quoting JackieB45:

That's exactly what my husband and I have tried to do multiple times! We try at least twice a semester and though the the school respects our wishes, the girls just go and change it again behind our backs. The school has what they call a responsibility policy, where students can change their scheldules as they wish without needing parents to know. We've gone to the principal but he just shrugs it off.

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im_that_mom
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:12 PM
As a mom of 7 yr old twin girls I envy you!!! Mine hate each other!!! It's all I can do to get them to be in the same gymnastics class!! College might be a wake up call for them but let them decide when they are ready to be "on their own." Surely they will have diff majors and find diff paths after high school. But trust me your prob is way better than living with 2 girls that fight every second of every day!
JackieB45
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:18 PM

They are both planning to major in psycology and are looking at the same school. The last thing we want to do is cause our daughters to feel betrayed. I don't want to force them into anything but I will hedge the idea of seperating to them. Maybe a compromise, seperate for freshman year and then if they don't like it, they can transfer? What other ways could I split them up without it feeling that they are being split?

atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:24 PM
I thought most schools split up twins from 1st on. Everywhere we have lived they have.
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KeepOnTryin
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:27 PM
You said they do have other friends though, right? I don't know if I'd worry about it too much then.
JackieB45
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 9:30 PM

It is at the discretion of the family. It was something we tried all throughout elementary school to no avail. We would notice poor grades, poor concentration, and acting up. Put them together and grades skyrocket, concentration improves, behavior is fine. I just can't understand their dependence on each other. What do they have with each other that they don't with other people?

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