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mentally abusive children

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:10 AM
  • 8 Replies

Ugh! what do you do when your pain in the butt 16 year old daughter is almost as abusive as her father

by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:10 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Momofmenagerie
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:24 AM
If you allowed her to think for all these years that the way her father treated you was A-okay, I do not know how you could possibly change it at 16. I'm sorry I have no advice. Behavior like this has to be corrected to much much much earlier than now.. :-/

I 'm sorry. I hope someone else has a more helpful answer
gonecrazi
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:20 AM

 I would find her a therapist. There might be an underlying reason for it.

atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:50 PM

Call the cops if you have to.  I wouldn't take crap from a husband or a child. 

Get her some help. 

awaremother
by on Aug. 11, 2014 at 2:57 PM

I also have a 16 year old daughter that tried to be abusive and manipulative. After going through her sneaking out and what not the cops were called....she pretty much laughed in the cops face-I was shocked and I am not easily shocked. This may sound wrong but I took matters into my own hands.....when she acts up she gets smacked-point blank. Recently she tried getting in my face I shoved her back and smacked her. I know its not physically painful for her....but it hurts her pride and her feelings. She thinks twice before she says or does things now simply for that reason. We have a very open relationship and she has been in therapy for years. I love her more then anything but she WILL respect me and I will make sure of that. YOU are the Queen of your castle take charge! if your daughter threatens to call the cops let her....they will come and probably tell HER she is wrong and to respect her MOTHER. you can do this.

san33
by Member on Aug. 11, 2014 at 3:09 PM
Act now! She need help before she turns 17. Once she is 17 you can not make her get help. If she has seen abuse as a normal thing then you should expect her to use abusive behavior to get her way. Get the police involved if you need to. You can also try a help line for mental issues. We have one here that responds instead of calling the police. They come and evaluate the person and take them to the hospital, police station, or helps them cool down and think.
awaremother
by on Aug. 11, 2014 at 3:26 PM

Also,don't let her see you get upset,they feed off of that. Go to the bathroom or anywhere else to gather your thoughts and strength. This sounds like she is learning from your husband so thinks its okay-its NOT. My first husband and father of my daughter was abusive as well,it started with verbal and quickly turned physical-you may need to get out of the situation....get your daughter into some serious therapy. You can't do anything for her abusive douche bag father,but you can do something for you and your daughter.

Quoting awaremother:

I also have a 16 year old daughter that tried to be abusive and manipulative. After going through her sneaking out and what not the cops were called....she pretty much laughed in the cops face-I was shocked and I am not easily shocked. This may sound wrong but I took matters into my own hands.....when she acts up she gets smacked-point blank. Recently she tried getting in my face I shoved her back and smacked her. I know its not physically painful for her....but it hurts her pride and her feelings. She thinks twice before she says or does things now simply for that reason. We have a very open relationship and she has been in therapy for years. I love her more then anything but she WILL respect me and I will make sure of that. YOU are the Queen of your castle take charge! if your daughter threatens to call the cops let her....they will come and probably tell HER she is wrong and to respect her MOTHER. you can do this.


suesues
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 7:30 AM

get help she is learning by your example acting like her father dont take it anymore 

gdiamante
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 10:50 AM

You need counseling TODAY. Right this minute. Your "husband" (note the quotes please) has set up the situation and you've accepted it. 

NO MORE ACCEPTING IT. 

Start with counseling for you, then you bring them in. If they refuse, be prepared to be leavng BOTH Of them. If you're not prepared to do that, then be ready to live just as you are right this minute for the rest of your life. 

Yeah, I know that's harsh. But the only way for things to change is for you to stop accepting them as they are and to be willing to be drastic about it.

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