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14 year old daughter w/ major anxiety

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 5:44 PM
  • 14 Replies

Hi moms! Just joined with the hope that some of you may be familiar with the situation I am in. My 14 year old daughter has struggled with mild anxiety all her life. Last Tuesday she had a panic attack at school and I have not been able to get her back since. I've had her to several doctors and even took her to Childrens Hospital. No one was able to help. It seems unless you answer yes to that horrible question (do you want to hurt yourself or others?) then you won't get anyone to help you. I did speak with her principal and he is working with me as much as possible. If we can not get things rolling with her by the beginning of next week we will have to consider other schooling options. Are any of you dealing with anything similar?

by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 5:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 4, 2014 at 6:04 PM
Has she seen a psychiatrist? What are her triggers? Has she had counseling?
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Hannahluvsdogs
by Silver Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:46 PM

Hospitalization is only a temporary measure for stabilization, it won't teach her coping skills and ways to combat her anxiety. She needs to see a therapist.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 2:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Mine went through this. I set her up with counselling, drove her to school a few minutes late so she didn't have to deal with the hordes of students, etc. once someone has a panic attack somewhere it's incredibly hard to convince them to go to that place again. I made a deal with my daughter, that she had to last an hour. If it was too much then she could go to the nurse to come home. By the time the hour ended shed calmed down enough to stay the whole day. But it was a stepping stone tool.
Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 8:03 AM

Not sure on the state you live in but if you are having a hard time getting her services such as a therapist or mentor you could look into see if your state has a CSA or community service agency. They can help you get the services she needs. I work for our local CSA and see this all the time. It takes a lot of time and work but I have been successful on helping lots of children return to school in just the past year. 

annie2244
by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 10:05 AM

I know I'm completely a broken record on this type of therapy - but my advice is find a counseling group that specializes in DBT counseling for teens and young adults. Typical talk therapy counseling does not teach the skills needed to prevent and deal with emotional disregulation - be that depression or anxiety.  DBT does.  And DBT also has sessions directed jointly at the parents and the kids together, because how the parent interacts with the kid impacts their level of depression and anxiety. 

She also should see a psychiatrist for medication assessment. But meds alone will not solve this.  She needs help to learn the skills to deal with anxiety provoking situations. Google for DBT in your area.

 

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety

www.amazon.com › ... › Self-HelpAnxieties & Phobias
Amazon.com
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If you have an anxiety disorder or experience anxiety symptoms that interfere with ... do a marvelous job of detailing the specific tools of DBT that can truly help ...
annie2244
by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 10:11 AM

 That's such a brilliant response, giving her a middle path. I had a friend who flew to London to backpack around Europe solo after she graduated from college, and was completely freaked out anxious when she landed. She spent several hours in the airport bathroom trying to convince herself not to get on the next plane back home. She ended up having a good trip through Europe, by telling herself  'just take the next step,  what is the next step right now? Oh yeah, change money and get a tube pass.  I'll do that. At any time I can always buy a ticket back home from whatever city I'm in, so I know I have an out. But I'm going to try to do whatever the next step is, when panic to go home hits me, and see how I feel after that.

Quoting GleekingOut: Mine went through this. I set her up with counselling, drove her to school a few minutes late so she didn't have to deal with the hordes of students, etc. once someone has a panic attack somewhere it's incredibly hard to convince them to go to that place again. I made a deal with my daughter, that she had to last an hour. If it was too much then she could go to the nurse to come home. By the time the hour ended shed calmed down enough to stay the whole day. But it was a stepping stone tool.

 

booscomputer
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 10:59 AM

My sister in law had anxiety problems.  She went to a very specific therapist who deals only with anxiety issues -- she also had a shrink who prescribed meds based on working with her and her therapist.  It took quite awhile and very intense therapy but with proper meds and coping mechanisms, she is fine.  

Leadchange
by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Thanks moms. She has seen a counslor once so far and will be seeing her every week. She is also scheduled to see a psychiatrist. The school is working with me as much as possible. It's a very frustrating time but I know we will get past this.


UpToHere
by on Nov. 6, 2014 at 10:00 AM

I am dealing with something VERY similar.  Although my daughter was in counseling, she finally refused to go to school at all halfway through 8th grade.  The school bent over backwards to make it comfortable for her, changing her schedule to avoid "free time," allowing her to come to the guidance office, etc., all to no avail.  We have tried 3 medications, but have discontinued all.  After missing about a month of school, I started homeschooling her, against the advice of myself and everyone else.  But what could I do?  It's lucky I was able to do this due to my job situation.  Complicating matters, we moved from NY to TN this summer.  We hoped for a fresh start here but she got really anxious before school started.  She managed to go one day but refused the next.  I know the kind of counseling she needs (DBT--I've read books on it and it was recommended by her previous therapist and my aunt, who's a therapist), but have not been able to find a place for her to receive this treatment.  Right now we are online schooling (jury's stil out as to whether we like it) and have found a big homeschool co-op in the area.  She takes one class at the co-op and has gotten involved in some of the social activities.  Complicating matters more, I am not really sure how much of this is manipulation and how much is "real."  When threatened with removal of her phone privileges, she seems to be able to do things she previously "couldn't" do.  Right now we are operating on the premise that she needs to get up by 8:00, have her schoolwork done, go out places trying to meet people, and act respectfully in order to have her phone.  I am not saying your daughter is faking it, not at all.  This is just my experience.  My daughter claims to have had panic attacks but never had one at school.  I have not witnessed one myself.  I believe she has normal teenage girl anxieties but due to the fact that I was available to homeschool her, it was easier for her to just avoid the uncomfortable-ness of school and stay home.  Again, I'm not sure of this.  She is my second of three children and is giving me a run for my money like my first one did (he's 19 now and straightening out somewhat).  Thank goodness, my 3rd one is a dream come true for a parent!

jlg12678
by on Nov. 7, 2014 at 3:47 PM

Um, that is not true about not getting help unless you want to hurt yourself.  You can get help just by having one as it's not healthy. I had my first anxiety attack two months ago...happened in the middle of the night and I went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack.  Nope, it was just an anxiety attack. Never had them before but I have them now.

I called my primary care physician the next day and she immediately saw me and got me on medication. It took a few tries but I'm on the right one now and it has helped immensely. I am also seeing a therapist as anxiety attacks are basically a trick of the mind that puts one into flight or fight mode. That is also a suggestion.

If your primary care physician won't do anything call the mental health department of your local clinic. They will be able to help.

 

 

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