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Friends 13 yo daughter... Advice please

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:15 AM
  • 8 Replies

i have a very dear friend that is the mother of 3 girls. Her oldest is 13 and it has been discovered that she has been sexting, tardy to classes, sending provocative photos and lying. 

Backstory, she was cutting and was in a mental health facility for a weekend last spring. She sees a psychiatrist every 3 months ands was diagnosed as bipolar. She doesn't take her meds but said she did, so her mom now watches her take them. She lost her phone due to tardiness and bad grades and there was sexting and photos. They have talked to the school counselor and physicians. Her bio dad acts like its no big deal. 

Does anyone know of any resources or programs that may be helpful. My friend is at a loss and I don't have any advice. 

by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:15 AM
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Replies (1-8):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:22 AM

Take the phone away first thing for a very long time.    Monitor any other computers and put passwords on them.  Get her counseling with a psychiatrist, not just a counselor at least once a month if not every other week. .   Take her to school and make sure she walks in the building. 

Come join me at The Duggars Debate, The Good, The Bad and the UglyAlso discuss the new Bates family show. 

Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:30 AM

The counselor and/or psychiatrist should be able to assist with getting her into group therapy. I would take away the phone and limit computer usage. Maybe put the computer in the family room so that it's easier to monitor what she's doing and how long she's on it.

Does the school have a truancy officer?

My friend was a cutter and is bipolar. Her grandparents sent her away to some center that specialized in helping girls like her. She ended sleeping with a guard, running away, and trying harder drugs that the girls  introduced her to. I am not a fan of sending kids away. I'd stick with a program offered by a local mental health center. Sometimes schools even have counseling during school hours to prevent truancy.  She will know if she's not there her butt is in trouble.

Good luck to your friend.

Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:31 AM

Where are you having this Duggar debate? I haven't seen the Bates show yet.

Quoting atlmom2:

Take the phone away first thing for a very long time.    Monitor any other computers and put passwords on them.  Get her counseling with a psychiatrist, not just a counselor at least once a month if not every other week. .   Take her to school and make sure she walks in the building. 


atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:33 AM

Its a group that I own.  Just search in the group search and it pops up.  The Bates show is on the UP Channel and just started last week. 

Quoting Sydel:

Where are you having this Duggar debate? I haven't seen the Bates show yet.

Quoting atlmom2:

Take the phone away first thing for a very long time.    Monitor any other computers and put passwords on them.  Get her counseling with a psychiatrist, not just a counselor at least once a month if not every other week. .   Take her to school and make sure she walks in the building. 



tcallisto
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:37 AM

She no longer has the phone or access to computers except at school  she rides the bus, and the mom is waiting to hear back from the school what classes she is late for  she see a psychiatrist but it's every 3 months, and can't get in until February.  Her mom has called the offices and reached out to get info on support groups but isn't having any luck.  Thanks for your help! 

Where is the Dugger debate? I would love to be a part of it 😄 

Quoting atlmom2:

Take the phone away first thing for a very long time.    Monitor any other computers and put passwords on them.  Get her counseling with a psychiatrist, not just a counselor at least once a month if not every other week. .   Take her to school and make sure she walks in the building. 


atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:39 AM

Search in the group search for it.  I don't have a link to it. 

Quoting tcallisto:

She no longer has the phone or access to computers except at school  she rides the bus, and the mom is waiting to hear back from the school what classes she is late for  she see a psychiatrist but it's every 3 months, and can't get in until February.  Her mom has called the offices and reached out to get info on support groups but isn't having any luck.  Thanks for your help! 

Where is the Dugger debate? I would love to be a part of it 😄 

Quoting atlmom2:

Take the phone away first thing for a very long time.    Monitor any other computers and put passwords on them.  Get her counseling with a psychiatrist, not just a counselor at least once a month if not every other week. .   Take her to school and make sure she walks in the building. 



tcallisto
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:40 AM

Thanks for the info about sending them away! That was an option she looked into, but hadn't made a decision on  I'll let her know the experience your friend had  it seems that with all this new social media it's so hard to stay on top of it!

Quoting Sydel:

The counselor and/or psychiatrist should be able to assist with getting her into group therapy. I would take away the phone and limit computer usage. Maybe put the computer in the family room so that it's easier to monitor what she's doing and how long she's on it.

Does the school have a truancy officer?

My friend was a cutter and is bipolar. Her grandparents sent her away to some center that specialized in helping girls like her. She ended sleeping with a guard, running away, and trying harder drugs that the girls  introduced her to. I am not a fan of sending kids away. I'd stick with a program offered by a local mental health center. Sometimes schools even have counseling during school hours to prevent truancy.  She will know if she's not there her butt is in trouble.

Good luck to your friend.


Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:52 AM

My friend's family has money so the facility they sent her to was private and expensive. Probably why the other girls had acess to and were able to smuggle in cocaine and heroin. Also there have been several investigations about the facilities and workers in them.

I'm not saying they are all bad. My brother's step sister went to one when she was battling an eating disorder. While there she fell and hit her head and cracked her skull. They said she threw herself down steps. Not sure how true it is. But between the two bad experiences I'd stay clear.

Quoting tcallisto:

Thanks for the info about sending them away! That was an option she looked into, but hadn't made a decision on  I'll let her know the experience your friend had  it seems that with all this new social media it's so hard to stay on top of it!

Quoting Sydel:

The counselor and/or psychiatrist should be able to assist with getting her into group therapy. I would take away the phone and limit computer usage. Maybe put the computer in the family room so that it's easier to monitor what she's doing and how long she's on it.

Does the school have a truancy officer?

My friend was a cutter and is bipolar. Her grandparents sent her away to some center that specialized in helping girls like her. She ended sleeping with a guard, running away, and trying harder drugs that the girls  introduced her to. I am not a fan of sending kids away. I'd stick with a program offered by a local mental health center. Sometimes schools even have counseling during school hours to prevent truancy.  She will know if she's not there her butt is in trouble.

Good luck to your friend.



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