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She Said No

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 9:20 AM
  • 8 Replies

My dd has been twirling for the last 5 years. It's something that she happens to be incredibly good at and takes pride in giving her best.. For the last 4 years she has been parade captain. Last year she beat out four high schoolers for the spot.

Her coach has always counted on her to fill in whenever needed. And she's always done it without complaint. So last night her coach was litereally shocked that my dd told her NO.

She texted me saying that she asked Sasha to learn a routine so she can be a back up in case one of the girls can't make it to a compeittion. My dd flat out said no. When I asked her about it she simply said she didn't want to do it.

Well.. If the kid doesn't want to do it then she's not going to do it. But I am just as shocked as her coach.  Has anyone else's child done something like this? Decline a request to do something that you thought they would  enjoy?


by on Jan. 20, 2015 at 9:20 AM
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Replies (1-8):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jan. 20, 2015 at 9:33 AM
Yep. Many kids just don't want to. It's totally fine.
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Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 20, 2015 at 9:37 AM

I know it's fine. Not pushing her leaving it alone. Pretty proud of myself for not interrogating her over it. Just still a little shocked.

Quoting atlmom2: Yep. Many kids just don't want to. It's totally fine.


Maime13
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2015 at 4:00 PM

Sure. People change, their interests change. I think it's pretty great that your DD was able to advocate for herself and be assertive. Too many people (adult too) are afraid to say no, afraid of hurt feelings. They feel guilty for no reason when they have to decline anything. Or they feel like they need a reason to not do something.

Not wanting to do something is a great reason!


Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 20, 2015 at 4:05 PM
1 mom liked this

She's never had a problem telling me no before! LOL But you are right in regards to her saying it to her coach. she has always been the volunteer or the one that is called upon. Her coach was caught off guard being told no. She wasn't mad about it. She said it put her in a tight spot.

She asked my dd to learn the routine out loud in front of the other girls because from 5 years of experience she was sure my dd's answer would be "okay" so when my dd said no and other girls jumped in saying they would do it. She said it was really uncomfortable.

Quoting Maime13:

Sure. People change, their interests change. I think it's pretty great that your DD was able to advocate for herself and be assertive. Too many people (adult too) are afraid to say no, afraid of hurt feelings. They feel guilty for no reason when they have to decline anything. Or they feel like they need a reason to not do something.

Not wanting to do something is a great reason!



suesues
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2015 at 7:48 AM

good for her maybe tired of being a doormat

Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 21, 2015 at 8:44 AM

My dd is far from a doormat. She told her swim coach last night that the twirl coach offered her to do the senior pom routine not twirl routine. She said she isn't into pom as much.  Which makes sense.

Quoting suesues:

good for her maybe tired of being a doormat


booscomputer
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2015 at 2:10 PM

Sometime it gets really old being everyone's back up person.  Maybe your DD just wants a break and to learn her own routines and do her own thing instead of letting everyone else figure she'll just cover it.  My daughter did study guides for herself and some friends last year -- she felt it was unfair not to share them so she would give them out to the class.  When studying for finals, one of the kids asked another one if he was going to study and he said, "Why?  D will just write up a study guide for us."  That was the last study guide she distributed -- being used so others can be lazy did not sit well with her.

Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 21, 2015 at 2:12 PM

That' is crazy. I wouldn't give other's my hard work either. DD said last night that she would have stepped in if the coach had offered for her to learn the twirl routine. Apparently she was asked her about pom which my dd can and will do but isn't a fan of. Knowing this I'm no  longer shocked that she said NO. It actually makes sense NOW.

Quoting booscomputer:

Sometime it gets really old being everyone's back up person.  Maybe your DD just wants a break and to learn her own routines and do her own thing instead of letting everyone else figure she'll just cover it.  My daughter did study guides for herself and some friends last year -- she felt it was unfair not to share them so she would give them out to the class.  When studying for finals, one of the kids asked another one if he was going to study and he said, "Why?  D will just write up a study guide for us."  That was the last study guide she distributed -- being used so others can be lazy did not sit well with her.


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