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Advice Needed: Daughter with a attitude!!

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 11:58 PM
  • 25 Replies

My daughter is 13 and she has a very bad attitude... She is ALWAYS yelling at me.. Earlier this evening was not a good one. Any advice on how to handle it without making her mouth bleed?

by on Feb. 18, 2015 at 11:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sabrtooth1
by on Feb. 19, 2015 at 12:03 AM

This did not happen overnight.  By the time your child was 4 she should have learned that yelling and being disrespectful will get her nothing.  By 13, it should be second nature.  Get some counseling.  You need to learn how to parent effectivly.

ame4c
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2015 at 12:49 AM
Kids do what is allowed. So you are allowing it to go on. Mine know not to raise their voices to me or I would whoop their ass and probably take everything they own away (such as cell phones, tablets, video games, and cars).
PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2015 at 12:58 AM
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Talk to her when she is calm about how it feels to be yelled at all the time.  When she does yell at her remind her that you know she's obviously stressed; you remember what it was like being a teen but you don't like being yelled at.  And tell her that maybe she should take a breather in her room to calm down so she isn't yelling.   It won't happen over night, but she can learn to control herself.


Debmomto2girls
by on Feb. 19, 2015 at 7:19 AM
1 mom liked this

This is something you have always allowed.  Your comment of "making her mouth bleed" makes it seem like you cannot effectivel parent.

I am what some consider a more laid back parent.  I have two teens (almost 17 & 14) and I have never been yelled out.  They knew from an early age that yelling at us was not correct bahvior and I did it without threats and punishment.

suesues
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2015 at 7:40 AM

stop it now when she yells walk away dont respond when she is calm tell her new game in town 

atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 19, 2015 at 8:37 AM

I think family counseling is needed. 

Maime13
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2015 at 9:00 AM

My DD is 12 and sometimes she has issues with forgetting that she is a still a kid. I try to treat her respectfully and give her as much autonomy as reasonable for her age, but part of being in the weird not really a teenager/not a little kid space is testing boundaries and acting older than you really are.

There are times when you just have to remind them that you are the adult and they are the child. Sometimes, she truly doesn't realize that her tone has crossed a line. Other times she is acting without thinking. I refuse to engage with her when she is being overly dramatic, so it's off to her room she goes till she can calm down and we can talk. Their brains aren't fully developed so they aren't great communicating what they are feeling and they  kind of stink at making good choices. LOL

booscomputer
by Bronze Member on Feb. 19, 2015 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Commando parenting -- take away everything from her -- leave her with one set of clothes a mattress with sheets and a blanket.  She has to earn back everything by proper behavior.  If she gets something back and then reverts to old behavior, take it away again.  Make sure she understands the rules.

cybcm
by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2015 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Without making her mouth bleed?

Now that's not a throw away comment, that's heavily loaded. Going on the very little information gI've, respect is a two way street and you're the adult, a threat like that is just going to get someone's back up and encourage attitude, not diffuse it.

To me, I'm getting the impression that the attitude is coming from both sides. Someone has to be the bigger person, and you're the adult.
Sydel
by Group Admin on Feb. 19, 2015 at 2:03 PM
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BEAT HER ASS!!!!  Just joking. Hitting her does nothing and if she's this unruly she may try to fight  you. Which could lead into a nasty domestic dispute and the courts becoming invovled.  I would start taking things away. I have a very strong willed child. She's been that way since she was 3. I'm learning that I do and say a lot of things that trigger her. She doesn't always realize her tone or struggles with what she's trying to say.  I need to learn not to antagonize and instigate things on my end. You have to give respect to get respect. Also choose your battles something I still struggle with.

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