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My 16 year old Daughter has just told us that she's pregnant. Need Help!

Posted by on May. 5, 2015 at 6:18 PM
  • 36 Replies

Ok so my youngest daughter Millie has been dating this guy for about a year and a half now, Me and my husband both never liked him from the start, he is a bad influence on her and he looks like he is looking for trouble,however we still let her date him as we want the best for her. Now she has told us that she is pregnant, obviously we were pissed and still are we have grounded her took her phone off her etc. My Husband wants to throw her out but i wont let him, I don't know the best way to approach this situation so any advice would be much appreciated, Thanks 

by on May. 5, 2015 at 6:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on May. 5, 2015 at 6:21 PM
2 moms liked this
You sit down and talk to her about her options. You discuss the pros and cons of each choice. You listen and listen well. You be there for her because she needs you now more than she probably ever have. Hugs I know it's not an ideal situation.
Spam72
by on May. 5, 2015 at 6:23 PM
3 moms liked this
You didn't have a plan that you discussed with kids beforehand? All my kids know the rules, adults have children. Adults pay their own bills in their own house. Teens get their expenses paid and live with mom and dad. Teens do not have babies. If you get pregnant you can decide if you want to be a kid or an adult. You can't take a little of each. You can't have a baby like an adult and live at home like a teen.
I will help with adoption or abortion.
8chickens
by on May. 5, 2015 at 6:50 PM
1 mom liked this

You already screwed up and punished her for a natural human act. Treat her as a human being and help her out. She has enough to worry about without you adding to it. Of course you can be mad but keep her welfare and the babies in mind. What good does taking a phone etc do for her and the situation.

LisaMarie27
by Member on May. 5, 2015 at 7:03 PM
4 moms liked this
I got pregnant at 16. I never thought it would happen to me. I was only with one person and in my mind, we were going to be together forever. We would be married one day. Needless to say, nothing came out as planned. I actually had an appointment the next week to go get on birth control and then found out I was pregnant. We thought the 'pull out method' was good until then. It wasn't. It was literally the worst experience of my entire life. My parents were horrified. My dad didn't speak to me for months, and contemplating killing my boyfriend. I wasn't aloud to see him. He wasn't aloud near my house. My mom cried all the time and tried to convince me to have an abortion. I didn't then, and do not now believe in abortion. I made my bed, it was my place to take responsibility. My pregnancy was so stressful and I couldn't enjoy any part of it. I couldn't get excited about kicks or anything because it was looked down on by everyone around me. I had my daughter and had a job where I supplied her every need, with the exception of wic. I finished high school and took care of her. Her father was no help and never grew up. I was alone. I loved with my parents, but I was so alone. I had no one to confide in. I had no one to share happiness with. It was the darkest moment in my life.
My advice to you is this, I know you're upset. But what is done is done. LOVE your daughter and be there for her, because no matter what you might think or feel at this moment she needs you more than ever. DONT DARE force any choices on her. Let her decide. It's not you that will have to live with any consequences of those choices for the rest of your life. My daughter is now going to turn 16 next month. She is an honor roll student and just all around amazing. I'm giving you the same advice I would take in your situation. Take it from someone who's lived through it. If you need anything or have any questions or just need someone outside of your personal circle to confide in, I'm here.
ame4c
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2015 at 7:08 PM
3 moms liked this
Well I'm glad my mother wasn't a child of spam72. Back in those days they made you drop out of high school (I'm 41). My dad's father took her in and I was born. My mother got her GED and became an ER RN. So getting pregnant at 15 didn't ruin her life. I doubt it will ruin your daughters.

We were never rich but I didn't need anything. I'm proud of my mother and I'm glad she didn't abort me because society said it was wrong.

Please don't look at this as a bad thing. It's just another turn in the road of life. We deal with them one turn at a time.
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 5, 2015 at 7:43 PM

Tell her and the boyfriend to grow up and get a job.  You play, you pay.  I was like Spam 72 and mine are in their 20's with no kids.  I wasn't going to raise more kids and they knew it.  IF they got pregnant the kid was theirs to raise.  Hell, mine are not ready now even in their 20's and they know it.  

8chickens
by on May. 5, 2015 at 8:43 PM

Nothing like making sure you not only loose a daughter but your grandkid as well.

Quoting atlmom2:

Tell her and the boyfriend to grow up and get a job.  You play, you pay.  I was like Spam 72 and mine are in their 20's with no kids.  I wasn't going to raise more kids and they knew it.  IF they got pregnant the kid was theirs to raise.  Hell, mine are not ready now even in their 20's and they know it.  


atlmom2
by Susie on May. 5, 2015 at 8:46 PM

My girls respect us and their own bodies so no, not happening in our family.  They didn't need sex as a teen and we didn't either.  They will probably be 30 before kids like us.  They want a career and money before kids.  

Quoting 8chickens:

Nothing like making sure you not only loose a daughter but your grandkid as well.

Quoting atlmom2:

Tell her and the boyfriend to grow up and get a job.  You play, you pay.  I was like Spam 72 and mine are in their 20's with no kids.  I wasn't going to raise more kids and they knew it.  IF they got pregnant the kid was theirs to raise.  Hell, mine are not ready now even in their 20's and they know it.  



8chickens
by on May. 5, 2015 at 8:51 PM
4 moms liked this

Having sex does not mean a person does not have respect. Sex is natural, normal and not dirty. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has a right to his/her own choices and life.

Quoting atlmom2:

My girls respect us and their own bodies so no, not happening in our family.  They didn't need sex as a teen and we didn't either.  They will probably be 30 before kids like us.  They want a career and money before kids.  

Quoting 8chickens:

Nothing like making sure you not only loose a daughter but your grandkid as well.

Quoting atlmom2:

Tell her and the boyfriend to grow up and get a job.  You play, you pay.  I was like Spam 72 and mine are in their 20's with no kids.  I wasn't going to raise more kids and they knew it.  IF they got pregnant the kid was theirs to raise.  Hell, mine are not ready now even in their 20's and they know it.  




Spam72
by on May. 5, 2015 at 9:02 PM
3 moms liked this
My daughter just made the deans list for the 4th time in a row, plans to go to Georgetown for law school and already works as a clerk in a law office. She is also the captain of her university's ski team.
What were you doing at 19? Is it something my daughter would wish she was doing instead because I'm such a terrible mom? I have high standards for my kids, as they have for themselves. They knew that raising a child would not fit into that plan.


Quoting ame4c: Well I'm glad my mother wasn't a child of spam72. Back in those days they made you drop out of high school (I'm 41). My dad's father took her in and I was born. My mother got her GED and became an ER RN. So getting pregnant at 15 didn't ruin her life. I doubt it will ruin your daughters.

We were never rich but I didn't need anything. I'm proud of my mother and I'm glad she didn't abort me because society said it was wrong.

Please don't look at this as a bad thing. It's just another turn in the road of life. We deal with them one turn at a time.
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