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Promise Rings.....ummmm, ok??

Posted by on May. 7, 2015 at 10:41 PM
  • 11 Replies

Daughter and her boyfriend have been an official couple for almost a year. She is a Sophmore-very mature, always connected better with older people than her own age, very future oriented, she has plans. He is a Senior planning for his future, a good responsible young man. He knows what he wants and that he has to work for it.

They have talked about their future together. Well, now they want Promise Rings.....What the heck!? I know they are serious about eachother, they have had their fair share of problems, they even broke up for one day....she cried forever (never head such heart renching cries from her before), his Dad and family called him a DumbAss for letting her go. They talked to eachother the next day and worked it out. 

So, seems more it cute or too much?

       My girls in 2004

by on May. 7, 2015 at 10:41 PM
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by Queen25Princes on May. 7, 2015 at 10:46 PM
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by Silver Member on May. 7, 2015 at 11:24 PM
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Too much, IMO. Junior year is *the* pivotal year, academically. I would not be comfortable with my child in such a serious relationship at such a young age. I would not want that influencing college choices or future decisions. And the fewer non-school related distractions (things that are not sports, school activities or academics) going into Jr year, the better.

by Susie on May. 7, 2015 at 11:27 PM
I got one as a sophomore. We broke up a few months later and had been together 2 1/2 years. Odds are they are gonna break up at some point. Promise rings are a waste if money. Being too serious too young is crazy. I always knew I was never gonna be with that guy forever.
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by on May. 7, 2015 at 11:27 PM
I think it's sweet but I would make sure that she stayed on top of her school work.
by Member on May. 8, 2015 at 12:44 AM
She is an honor roll student, has her college picked out already and her classes picked for junior year. She has talked to counselors about classes and college, she isn't lazy or stupid about her future, she knows what she has to do to get where she wants.
Her boyfriend is the kind of person who wants her to do her best and accomplish what she sets her mind too.

And the "rings" they have picked out cost $12.00....they are aren't from some jewelry store but Hot Topic.
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2015 at 1:46 AM
I'll scare you, LOL

Our daughters made private vows to their hubbies when the older couple were both 15 and the younger couple were both 14 on a beach in Florida eight years ago this coming august and were married on a beach in Hawaii five years ago last March. The dates inscribed on the inside of their wedding bands are those August 2007 dates and not the March 2010 dates. They count time from the August 2007 dates.

When I saw $12.00, I thought I saw $1,200 and thought "her kids are vowing up."

This s nothing new with teens. My mother wore my dad's class ring in high school. They granulated in '61 and knock off 54 years of marriage next month. A teen romance and marriage gone good.

Most teen romances don't go the distance. I'm sandwiched between them.

Teen breakuos can hurt like hell, so make sure daughter understands that posability. Also, promise rings are not wedding rings unless like our couples you bought gold wedding bands and used them as promise rings until they became wedding rings.

And ours remain ahead of the pack educationally.

by Silver Member on May. 8, 2015 at 3:28 AM
Their money, not mine.

If one of mine did it I'd think they had lost their marbles though.
by Silver Member on May. 8, 2015 at 7:11 AM

I would not be wild about it, but would likely choose to ignore it.  

by Group Admin on May. 8, 2015 at 8:46 AM

Honestly with him going off to college I wouldn't put much thought into it. I think it's commendable that they want to "promise" themselves to each other but my dd is 13 and we have already discussed the statistics of couples staying together and the cheating or unfairness one might feel by being left behind. I've seen some couples make it work and others not so much. Since it's a promise ring I'd say okay and move on. I would not give her a strong reaction to it.

But we would talk about how she may feel pressured to have sex if she isn't already just to keep him. And when you feel you need to do something outside of your comfort level to hold on to someone then that's a huge red flag that the relationship is already in trouble. I would just encourge both to be honest and fair to one another if either start to develop feelings for another person or if they start feeling like the distance is too hard. If you love someone let it go. If it's meant to be it will be.

by Gold Member on May. 8, 2015 at 10:55 AM
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The idea would annoy me.
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