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Halloween party UPDATE

Posted by on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:22 PM
  • 78 Replies
My 15 year old is very excited that Halloween is coming up. She is dressing up in a costume that I made for her and she is going trick or treating with her friends. They plan on going all day so they can get as much candy as they can. The curfew in my town for trick or treating is 8 pm. My other daughter requested off of work because Halloween is her favorite holiday. She asked if she can go to a Halloween party at a friends house. I am going to trust that she will make the right choices and not drink or do anything innapropriate but that is partially because she has to be home at 2. She asked if she can spend the night but I just don't feel comfortable with her doing that. I know many of you disagree with me, but I feel that she would take advantage and try drinking. She is driving home so I know she will not drink. She lost sleepover privileges a while ago for lying to me. I am beginning to trust her again and I do not want to give her the opportunity to break my trust. I feel that 2 am is a very reasonable curfew for a girl like her

I have decided that I am going to allow her to spend the night. We had a talk about the dangers of alcohol and how to handle herself safely. I do not approve of underage drinking but I am not naive, I know that she is going to do it. I'd rather her be safe and informed if she decides to drink. I told her that she can always call me if anything happens. I'm a bit nervous but also happy that I was able to see her get so excited when I told her that she can go. She loves Halloween and is really looking forward to the party. Thank you everyone for the advice, it helped a lot.
by on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Let her spend the night.  She shouldn't have to even ask you about this.  She should only have to tell you as courtesy that she isn't coming home.  

You and your consequences is crazy for an 18 year old.  You just don't see she lies to you because you are way too strict.  You need to get an adult child and Mom relationship.  Not a Mom and a 12 year old relationship.  I have said this so many times and so have others.  

Yes, 2am is a reasonable time for her to come home but more reasonable is allowing her to go sleepover at someone's home.  

cybcm
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:43 PM
You have to be a joke, I am seriously struggling to believe that you are a real person.

An adult losing her "sleepover privileges". That's hilarious.
Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Why would you want your child driving at 2am? I think it would be safer to just have her sleep over. If you think there will be drinking, what makes you think she won't drink? If she does drink you are putting her at risk by having her drive home. What are you worried about between 2am-8am that can't or won't happen between 10pm-2am? 

cindermom50
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:52 PM
The purpose of her driving there and home is so she does not drink. We have had countless talks about the dangers of drunk driving and I've even had her attend classes about it. I do not think that driving home would be dangerous but I could pick her up instead. If I let her stay overnight she could get drunk without me knowing. I am trying to protect her

Quoting Jessiejack:

Why would you want your child driving at 2am? I think it would be safer to just have her sleep over. If you think there will be drinking, what makes you think she won't drink? If she does drink you are putting her at risk by having her drive home. What are you worried about between 2am-8am that can't or won't happen between 10pm-2am? 

cindermom50
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:53 PM
She lost her privileges when she was youger. She just hasn't earned them back yet

Quoting cybcm: You have to be a joke, I am seriously struggling to believe that you are a real person.

An adult losing her "sleepover privileges". That's hilarious.
8chickens
by on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this

You are a troll period!

atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 29, 2015 at 6:58 PM

Ugh, leave this poor girl alone to her choices in life.  I am with the other poster.  You really do sound like a troll, but sadly you are not.  She is over 18!!!!!  Its beyond you protecting her.  She is not a 2 year old that needs protected anymore.  How long do you really want to keep doing this to her?  It is ridiculous.  IS it really that bad if she did have a drink.  I had my first drink junior prom.  I didn't drive drunk, no one did.  I had several underage drinks.  I wasn't a bad person and I am not now.  I am not an alcoholic and rarely drink.  What are you soooooooooo afraid of.  Just because you were this "perfect" teen and early age adult you can't make your kid be that way and really, being perfect has made the the Mom you are and sadly not a great one.  

Quoting cindermom50: The purpose of her driving there and home is so she does not drink. We have had countless talks about the dangers of drunk driving and I've even had her attend classes about it. I do not think that driving home would be dangerous but I could pick her up instead. If I let her stay overnight she could get drunk without me knowing. I am trying to protect her
Quoting Jessiejack:

Why would you want your child driving at 2am? I think it would be safer to just have her sleep over. If you think there will be drinking, what makes you think she won't drink? If she does drink you are putting her at risk by having her drive home. What are you worried about between 2am-8am that can't or won't happen between 10pm-2am? 


cindermom50
by Silver Member on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:03 PM
Let me ask you this- how would you feel if your daughter went out and got drunk all night behind your back? That is exactly what would happen if I let her go. I am not stupid. I know what this Halloween party really is, an excuse for teenagers to drink. I am trying to keep my daughter away from this. She is too smart and has too much potential to turn down a bad path. I know a lot of moms would let their 18 year old sleep over, but I guess I am more worrisome than most. That does not make me a troll.

Quoting 8chickens:

You are a troll period!

8chickens
by on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:09 PM
2 moms liked this

She can do what she wants and nothing you can do about it.


atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 29, 2015 at 7:14 PM

You are not worrisome.  You are crazy and a helicopter Mom on steriods.  Leave your adult kid alone.  I really really wonder when you are going to cut the cord.  You say not now and by 22.  She can go down a bad path at 19, 20 or 21 or any age.  Let her make decisions.  Heck, mine went to sleepovers since the age of 4 and I never said they couldn't go at any age ever.  


Quoting cindermom50: Let me ask you this- how would you feel if your daughter went out and got drunk all night behind your back? That is exactly what would happen if I let her go. I am not stupid. I know what this Halloween party really is, an excuse for teenagers to drink. I am trying to keep my daughter away from this. She is too smart and has too much potential to turn down a bad path. I know a lot of moms would let their 18 year old sleep over, but I guess I am more worrisome than most. That does not make me a troll.
Quoting 8chickens:

You are a troll period!



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