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Don't know what to do

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 5:04 PM
  • 27 Replies
Okay, I'm really having issues with my daughter. She is 11, will be 12 next month. But she never listens to me or does anything I ask her to do. Yesterday was really bad. I asked her to clean her room and she didn't listen, so I took her IPad and her phone away, and she didn't care and still wouldn't clean her room. She got her IPad back because she found it with out me knowing, and I disconnected the internet so she didn't have it, and she told me she was going to runaway, but my husband got home and so she didn't. I don't know else to do. She argues with me about everything. My husband is not her real dad, but he adopted her, her real dad is not in her life anymore. I just want to give up.
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 5:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
PartyOfGirls
by Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 5:09 PM

Its a tough age.

Hormones are all out of wack around this age and last a few more years into the teen years. Stick to your guns and give tough love. When she talks back make her write lines or even an essay on respecting you as her mother.

Groundings tend to work, and the ipad would be gone for at least a month for taking it back without asking, or I would sell it, if it happened again. Be consistent

ame4c
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2016 at 5:22 PM
1 mom liked this
I would sell the iPad because she doesn't deserve it anymore. Or set up a way to earn it back with chores and don't make it easy. Like a month of chores done when asked and not half ass.
iwashere
by on Mar. 13, 2016 at 6:33 PM

 First of all, it taking away the iPad did have an affect or she wouldn't have looked for it. She's just good at hiding her emotions from you. So, if this were my DS and he found the iPad, he would not use that iPad for thirty days. It would not be hidden. It would be tethered to me. If I was in the kitchen, it would be in the kitchen. If I was watching tv, it would sit on the couch next to me. And every time my DS saw it, he'd be reminded of how many days it would be until he got to use it.

You have to mean what you say and you have to follow through. If you do not, you are looking at some horrible teenage years. Start now. Every action has consequences. There is no time off for good behavior. Consequences should fit the crime, but they should always be enforced.

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 13, 2016 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I would never given an 11 or 12 year old a phone.  Take the ipad for a month or more.  IF it continues think about counseling or family counseling.  

suesues
by Silver Member on Mar. 14, 2016 at 7:36 AM

agree with all the rest stick with it it only gets worse hang in there dont let her win 

Msgme
by Gold Member on Mar. 14, 2016 at 8:29 AM

what the others have said plus her room would be bare.   i would walk in with a large garbage bag and clean it. the stuff i picked up would be gone for quite awhile if not forever.  nothing would be in her room but her bed and enough clothes for a few days of school.    mine quickly learned to clean their room by the deadline i gave them or i did it. 

Tazzgirl21
by on Mar. 14, 2016 at 9:02 AM
Quoting PartyOfGirls:

Its a tough age.

Hormones are all out of wack around this age and last a few more years into the teen years. Stick to your guns and give tough love. When she talks back make her write lines or even an essay on respecting you as her mother.

Groundings tend to work, and the ipad would be gone for at least a month for taking it back without asking, or I would sell it, if it happened again. Be consistent



I will try the essay next time, thanks
Tazzgirl21
by on Mar. 14, 2016 at 9:05 AM
Quoting atlmom2:

I would never given an 11 or 12 year old a phone.  Take the ipad for a month or more.  IF it continues think about counseling or family counseling.  



She is getting counseling next month. Have to wait til we get insurance
Tazzgirl21
by on Mar. 14, 2016 at 9:07 AM
Quoting ame4c: I would sell the iPad because she doesn't deserve it anymore. Or set up a way to earn it back with chores and don't make it easy. Like a month of chores done when asked and not half ass.


My husband won't sell the IPad. But I will try the month of chores and see if that works
Tazzgirl21
by on Mar. 14, 2016 at 9:09 AM
Quoting iwashere:

 First of all, it taking away the iPad did have an affect or she wouldn't have looked for it. She's just good at hiding her emotions from you. So, if this were my DS and he found the iPad, he would not use that iPad for thirty days. It would not be hidden. It would be tethered to me. If I was in the kitchen, it would be in the kitchen. If I was watching tv, it would sit on the couch next to me. And every time my DS saw it, he'd be reminded of how many days it would be until he got to use it.

You have to mean what you say and you have to follow through. If you do not, you are looking at some horrible teenage years. Start now. Every action has consequences. There is no time off for good behavior. Consequences should fit the crime, but they should always be enforced.



But if I had it with me, she would just try and take it, she doesn't care to much about the consequences.
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