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Daughter is starting to dress sexy, wants Yoga pants.

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 4:57 PM
  • 51 Replies

My 13 year old daughter is worrying me.   She is coming of age.  She wants to be on Facebook and Instagram which I both denied.

The other day she came downstairs in a white tank top and I noticed she had a leopard print bra on underneath, it was totally obvious.  The thing is I never bought it for her.  I asked her where she got it and she claimed her friend from school gave it to her because she outgrew it.  This bra was one of those push up bras from Lasenza (Canadian store like Victoria's Secret).  She is mature for her age and wears a B cup but this bra adds 2 cup sizes so she looked ridiculous.

I noticed on her web history she has been searching Victoria's Secret and Lasenza web pages.  These as you know show women in bras and underwear.   She also wants to wear thong underwear already.

I told her as she is in Grade 8 I am not buying this stuff for her.   I only bought her pretty cotton underwear and pretty but sensible bras, nothing racy.

She also wants to wear Lululemon yoga pants to school as some of her friends do.  We go to a public school and some girls dress a litte to sexy for my liking.

What was your budget for your daughters, how many bras do you buy a girl that isn't done growing yet?

Is there a strore that has yoga pants that deliver that aren't $100 a pair.  I don't even have a pair let along her.

Thanks

by on Oct. 22, 2016 at 4:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cybcm
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:11 PM
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I would never consider yoga pants sexy.

I think you need to meet her halfway. You can have the expectation that you're not buying her ill-fitting push up bras, but at the same time, she has breasts, she wants them in something that is not infantilising and I think that's perfectly fair.

Does it have to be online order? Can you not take her in to a bra store, get her properly measured (not only from a practicality standpoint, but also to fulfil this want she has to be recognised as the age she is, with the body she has) and get the store clerk to recommend some style, and also pick up some yoga pants while you're out?
coolmommy2x
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 5:21 PM
2 moms liked this
I got my yoga pants at Old Navy, they weren't expensive. I don't consider them sexy at all...I'd say they're the total opposite of sexy.

I don't know you but just based on what I'm reading here, you seem to keep saying no to her and at 13, she's trying to figure her style out and to a degree, fit in with her friends. I let DD pick out what she wants and if I don't think it's appropriate, we discuss it and find a compromise. Your DD might just be looking for her voice and some independence. Work with her.
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RaeMarie
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 6:03 PM
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I think yoga pants are far from sexy. DD gets hers primarily from a big box store like Walmart. $10 a pair. I personally think they make you look like a lazy slob but whatever. 

I have modesty restrictions on my dd. Kinda tough in our case because the poor girl is already a 38D. As long as clevage isn't showing and skirts/shorts reach the tips of her fingers when resting naturally against her side I am good. What she wears under that is fine as nobody but the girls in the locker room see it. 

I can tell you, my simple modesty requirements leave her waaaay more covered up than her friends who think I am too strict. Sounds like your dd is just trying to find her way and fit in. 

RaeMarie
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 6:04 PM

Oh, and I don't spend a fortune on bras. She has 5 or 6 right now but I won't pay more than $10 or $12 on them at this point. If she wants something more expensive I will fork over the $10 or $12 and she has to come up with the balance. 

Debmomto2teens
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 6:23 PM
2 moms liked this
Yoga pants are sexy? Not in my world.

My oldest is a 32 D. I spend a lot of money on her bras. She needs the support.

My youngest is maybe a 30 B. She gets hers at Target.
Ziva65
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 7:26 PM

I think facebook is out now with younger people. Snapchat is a big one, instagram may be where she is not so much here. There are a few others too. Be careful of Periscope. 

So, my daughter is 18, she would wear yoga pants to school occasionally but only with a very long top or sweater. I wouldn't buy Victorias Secret for her. I also wouldn't buy push up bras for a 13 year old. My daughter has a few which she wears for certain choir dresses to help them fit better.

No thong. why would she want that. I'd say no. She's 13.

Leopard print bra and a white top? no. But people have different standards, for us it wouldn't be acceptable.

As for how many bras, I don't keep track of that, different types for different outfits. Our favorite place for bras is Nordstroms, they'd do proper fittings, etc :) Girls grow for a while anyway, and studies show you need to wear different bras frequently.

Yes, a lot of girls wear pretty sexy clothing (public or private school) but it doesn't mean your daughter can. 

Maybe take her shopping at a nice store for some new outfits in general. She can try things on, see how they fit, see what your opinion is, etc. Make it a fun day together. 

Ziva65
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 7:36 PM

I agree with you on the modesty part. 

Quoting RaeMarie:

I think yoga pants are far from sexy. DD gets hers primarily from a big box store like Walmart. $10 a pair. I personally think they make you look like a lazy slob but whatever. 

I have modesty restrictions on my dd. Kinda tough in our case because the poor girl is already a 38D. As long as clevage isn't showing and skirts/shorts reach the tips of her fingers when resting naturally against her side I am good. What she wears under that is fine as nobody but the girls in the locker room see it. 

I can tell you, my simple modesty requirements leave her waaaay more covered up than her friends who think I am too strict. Sounds like your dd is just trying to find her way and fit in. 


atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 22, 2016 at 7:42 PM

I never have had issues with yoga pants nor leggings as pants.  Just me.  My dd wears yoga pants to work. She is a massage therapist and that is her uniform really.  I don't consider them sexy at all.  Kinda just dress down pants.  

My oldest is a DD so she has been wearing Victoria secret bras since she was probably 14 in HS.  

Mine hate thongs.  I hate thongs but no one sees them.  Underware is underware really.  

f.i.s.h
by Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 7:43 PM

I agree that yoga pants are far from sexy. I don't allow my daughters (16 and 15) to dress in incredibly revealing clothes, nor do they want to, but yoga pants aren't racy. I have no issue with colorful bras either as long as they are not under a see through shirt and visible. So not under a white tank top but other shirts, sure. My dds have a few thongs to wear with leggings and have a ton of VS/Pink bras. Honestly they have WAY more than they need, like two drawers full of them. They also own a lot of Lululemon apparel. I don't have an issue with it. But I agree with you that push-up is completely unnecessary at that age.

As for the social media, both of mine had Snapchats, Facebooks, and Instagrams at that age. I monitored them occasionally but now that they're older, I don't anymore.

RaeMarie
by Silver Member on Oct. 22, 2016 at 8:41 PM

Do we ever stop? LOL I was happy as a solid B until I was 27. Had dd15 and ballooned to a D, then shrunk back to a C when done nursing. Grew to a DD with ds8 and never shrunk before getting pg with dd7. Ballooned to a EE with her. Still a DDD. LOL Can I have my B cup back please?

Quoting Ziva65:

I think facebook is out now with younger people. Snapchat is a big one, instagram may be where she is not so much here. There are a few others too. Be careful of Periscope. 

So, my daughter is 18, she would wear yoga pants to school occasionally but only with a very long top or sweater. I wouldn't buy Victorias Secret for her. I also wouldn't buy push up bras for a 13 year old. My daughter has a few which she wears for certain choir dresses to help them fit better.

No thong. why would she want that. I'd say no. She's 13.

Leopard print bra and a white top? no. But people have different standards, for us it wouldn't be acceptable.

As for how many bras, I don't keep track of that, different types for different outfits. Our favorite place for bras is Nordstroms, they'd do proper fittings, etc :) Girls grow for a while anyway, and studies show you need to wear different bras frequently.

Yes, a lot of girls wear pretty sexy clothing (public or private school) but it doesn't mean your daughter can. 

Maybe take her shopping at a nice store for some new outfits in general. She can try things on, see how they fit, see what your opinion is, etc. Make it a fun day together. 


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