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$20 Says She Gets Mad *Update* Did Not Go

Posted by on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:38 AM
  • 24 Replies
1 mom liked this

I thought I knew my kid enough to know how this was going to. I figured she'd text me. I'd text back the pictures. She'd whine that it's not fair, life isn't fair, and call me mean.

Instead she straight up called me and asked if she was allowed to hang out with the boyfriend at her grandparent's house. I asked if her room was clean. She said no, just forget it and hung up. I worked both jobs last night came home after 9 and she was sitting in a trashed room doing homework and studying for today's exams. I reminded her she can't hang out with the boyfriend until the room is clean. She said she knows that but they discussed it and have decided to hang out on Friday since there is no school so the way she sees it she has 3 more days to get her room cleaned.

At midnight she came in my room and informed me her room was clean and to check it. She had hid a ton of clothes under her bed and in a corner with a blanket on top. But her floor was visable so I asked why the sudden change?? She said that grandpa invited them on a family date.

What?? A double date with grandparents. That deserves it's own post. But She never got MAD or DRAMATIC like I thought she would. So I guess that went well but not how I called it.


I have never been big on forcing my kids to clean their rooms. However my dh does the laundry and the teen has decided to use her entire room as a laundry basket. Dh feels compelled to wash everything over and over again because he has OCD and he can't let the clothes lay around collecting pet hair and dust. Even if she's not wearing them.

What pisses me off is when he washes her clothes he lays them all out on her bed. All she has to do is PUT them away. And this chick will literally push the entire pile on the floor. I'm sorry but that is rude and inconsiderate.

We try to keep her door close. At the old house her room was down the hall and around a corner from ours. With this house it's right next to ours and if her door is open we get a full view when we go in/out our own.

Anyways I told dd on Saturday she needed to clean her room before she can hang out with the boyfriend again. Today is his first day off in 5 days. I put money on it she's going to want to hang out with him. I put money on it she will try to avoid cleaning her room by suggesting they just hang out with my in-laws. 

And the answer is NO. I'm so petty you guys I snapped photos of her room before leaving because when she asks WHY she can't hang out with him I'm going to send her those pictures.

I work my second job tonight and tomorrow so I'm counting on dh to be strong and not let her get what she wants. Both girls give him "puppy" eyes and cry  and he just rolls over. SMH...

** Side note I always think it's weird when I read chore posts because my kids don't have traditional chores and it's never been an issue or arguement. So I was lightweight laughing at myself and the fustration I'm experiencing. I could careless about the clothes IF my dh wasn't getting anxiety over it. And no he won't let her do her own laundry because he's weird **

by on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:38 AM
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chicken13
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:48 AM
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It's a pick your battles kinda thing...chores, room cleaning, etc.  Everyone picks a different battle.  Meh.

Dd has chores AND has to help out on a daily basis (when she's home...which isn't often).  Her room is a battle I chose to ignore...unless there is an odor or a lost pet (and once it was both....ewwwww).  Occassionally, I'll say something...."your college roommate is going to stab you in your sleep", "you'd better get a good paying job cause you're going to need a staff of cleaning ladies"....

MommyMcMomface
by on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:52 AM
I have the laundry battles with my teen too. Right now her room is just full of clean clothes she hasn't bothered to put away. I'm kinda like your husband; if it's on the floor its dirty in my book. I can't, however, make myself wash her clothes.

Laundry follows a rule here. If it sits in the same place for a week without being put up, I will bag it for donation because clearly she has too many clothes to handle. After a couple times of making good on my word to bag up her clothes, she usually waits until the last minute to put them away, but they do eventually get done.
My daughter does have a few chores to do each day. She loads the dishwasher every other day. Thursday is her laundry day, and she cooks dinner on Wednesdays and Saturdays (which she loves to do, but she cooks like she has Parkinsons).
MommyMcMomface
by on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:55 AM
Hahahhahahaha I think I have said the college roommate thing to my kid too. I typically don't say anything about the way she keeps her desk or vanity, but her floor space is my territory. If I can't vacuum then we have issues.

Quoting chicken13:

It's a pick your battles kinda thing...chores, room cleaning, etc.  Everyone picks a different battle.  Meh.

Dd has chores AND has to help out on a daily basis (when she's home...which isn't often).  Her room is a battle I chose to ignore...unless there is an odor or a lost pet (and once it was both....ewwwww).  Occassionally, I'll say something...."your college roommate is going to stab you in your sleep", "you'd better get a good paying job cause you're going to need a staff of cleaning ladies"....

romalove
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 9:58 AM
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The issue is your husband insisting on doing that laundry.

Let her drown in it.  Let her have the dirty clothing, or covered with pet hair, or whatever.  When it affects her, she'll want to change.  Right now it's not affecting her in a negative way, if anything, it's a positive since she gets clean clothes laid out on her bed and she doesn't have to do anything.

I'd tell hubby to stay out of her room.

Judge Judy, in one of her books, talked about something that this reminded me of.  She did all the dry cleaning for her and her husband (they were both judges at the time), and her husband would complain about how his shirts were pressed.  She kept having to change cleaners, even when she found a cleaner she liked, because of his picayune nature on the subject.

She finally stopped taking his shirts to the cleaners.  He realized it when he didn't have a clean shirt in his closet.  He said to her, I don't have any clean shirts.  She said ask me why.  He said why.  She said I have been to fifteen dry cleaners and you don't like any of them.  I finally found one that I like, and I intend to keep, and I'm not doing your dry cleaning any more.  You do it yourself and find someone you like.

So he did.  And because it now was his problem, he found someone acceptable very fast and took care of his own issue.

Just like your daughter will if your husband stops washing the clothes.  :-)

Sydel
by Group Admin on Dec. 13, 2016 at 10:16 AM


Quoting romalove:

The issue is your husband insisting on doing that laundry. My dh has OCD and anxiety. He would love to NOT do the laundry but it weighs on him. He can't just ignore it. He has tried. I think having her pick up her floor is a lot cheaper and easier than him going to counseling or having an anxiety attack. This has been going on for months. He is starting to get fustrated.

Let her drown in it.  Let her have the dirty clothing, or covered with pet hair, or whatever.  When it affects her, she'll want to change.  Right now it's not affecting her in a negative way, if anything, it's a positive since she gets clean clothes laid out on her bed and she doesn't have to do anything.

I'd tell hubby to stay out of her room. He doesn't go in her room. She keeps leaving the door open. Her door is next to our door. NO space in between. She has also started letting her clothing mess seep out intot he hall, bathroom, and living room.

Judge Judy, in one of her books, talked about something that this reminded me of.  She did all the dry cleaning for her and her husband (they were both judges at the time), and her husband would complain about how his shirts were pressed.  She kept having to change cleaners, even when she found a cleaner she liked, because of his picayune nature on the subject.

She finally stopped taking his shirts to the cleaners.  He realized it when he didn't have a clean shirt in his closet.  He said to her, I don't have any clean shirts.  She said ask me why.  He said why.  She said I have been to fifteen dry cleaners and you don't like any of them.  I finally found one that I like, and I intend to keep, and I'm not doing your dry cleaning any more.  You do it yourself and find someone you like.

So he did.  And because it now was his problem, he found someone acceptable very fast and took care of his own issue.

Just like your daughter will if your husband stops washing the clothes.  :-) She will wear dirty clothes. She thinks Fabreeze is a way to clean them.She can clean her damn room. It won't kill her. Especially when she has no other chores. Taking away her ability to see the boyfriend is the equivalent of letting her drown in dirty clothes. She wants something so she will take care of the issue.


romalove
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 10:20 AM
Teens are hard. Good luck! :-)

Quoting Sydel:

Quoting romalove:

The issue is your husband insisting on doing that laundry. My dh has OCD and anxiety. He would love to NOT do the laundry but it weighs on him. He can't just ignore it. He has tried. I think having her pick up her floor is a lot cheaper and easier than him going to counseling or having an anxiety attack. This has been going on for months. He is starting to get fustrated.

Let her drown in it.  Let her have the dirty clothing, or covered with pet hair, or whatever.  When it affects her, she'll want to change.  Right now it's not affecting her in a negative way, if anything, it's a positive since she gets clean clothes laid out on her bed and she doesn't have to do anything.

I'd tell hubby to stay out of her room. He doesn't go in her room. She keeps leaving the door open. Her door is next to our door. NO space in between. She has also started letting her clothing mess seep out intot he hall, bathroom, and living room.

Judge Judy, in one of her books, talked about something that this reminded me of.  She did all the dry cleaning for her and her husband (they were both judges at the time), and her husband would complain about how his shirts were pressed.  She kept having to change cleaners, even when she found a cleaner she liked, because of his picayune nature on the subject.

She finally stopped taking his shirts to the cleaners.  He realized it when he didn't have a clean shirt in his closet.  He said to her, I don't have any clean shirts.  She said ask me why.  He said why.  She said I have been to fifteen dry cleaners and you don't like any of them.  I finally found one that I like, and I intend to keep, and I'm not doing your dry cleaning any more.  You do it yourself and find someone you like.

So he did.  And because it now was his problem, he found someone acceptable very fast and took care of his own issue.

Just like your daughter will if your husband stops washing the clothes.  :-) She will wear dirty clothes. She thinks Fabreeze is a way to clean them.She can clean her damn room. It won't kill her. Especially when she has no other chores. Taking away her ability to see the boyfriend is the equivalent of letting her drown in dirty clothes. She wants something so she will take care of the issue.

chicken13
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't vacuum in there.  Problem solved.

Quoting MommyMcMomface: Hahahhahahaha I think I have said the college roommate thing to my kid too. I typically don't say anything about the way she keeps her desk or vanity, but her floor space is my territory. If I can't vacuum then we have issues.
Quoting chicken13:

It's a pick your battles kinda thing...chores, room cleaning, etc.  Everyone picks a different battle.  Meh.

Dd has chores AND has to help out on a daily basis (when she's home...which isn't often).  Her room is a battle I chose to ignore...unless there is an odor or a lost pet (and once it was both....ewwwww).  Occassionally, I'll say something...."your college roommate is going to stab you in your sleep", "you'd better get a good paying job cause you're going to need a staff of cleaning ladies"....


iwashere
by on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:18 AM

I have a fairly neat ds. I don't know how that happened, but I'm not going to question it. The one thing that pisses me off though is that he will try on an outfit and if he doesn't like it, he doesn't hang the stuff back up, he puts it in the hamper in the laundry room. WTF? 

I was washing his clothes because of the drought. But, it's raining here so the outdoor water is turned off. So he's back to washing his own clothes. Guess what? He's started hanging his stuff up if he doesnt wear it. 

The point is, teenagers are hard and weird. I'd do what makes your DH comfortable, because as my grandma says, children eventually move out, your husband doesn't. Make him happy.

heybooboo
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:21 AM

That's every Friday in our house.  LOL. 

chicken13
by Silver Member on Dec. 13, 2016 at 11:57 AM

Dd used to do that to me too.  So I stopped washing her clothes.  No clue if she does it to herself....LOL

It was killing me....KILLING ME.  And now I feel much better.  LOL

Quoting iwashere:

The one thing that pisses me off though is that he will try on an outfit and if he doesn't like it, he doesn't hang the stuff back up, he puts it in the hamper in the laundry room. WTF? 


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