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$5 Date Assignment Is This Sexist

Posted by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 8:57 AM
  • 21 Replies

A Utah teacher has come under fire for an assignment he gave his students in an adult roles and finance class for upper classmen. 

Apparently this has been going on for years and parents are outraged by how sexist the advice was on the different gender roles.

Looking at the forms it seemed to me that the advice on the sheets could have been made by other students rather than an adult.

I showed dd the article and she personally did not see anything wrong with the assignment. I know that some parents feel that it's not the school's job to teach their children on how to date or interact with the opposite sex but at the same time, I think schools were forced to include dating and sex into their health curriculum due to the large number of parents who were NOT addressing the subject at home.

I think it's sad that schools have to teach our kids about respecting ones feelings and boundaries. For many of us this is a no brainer and a waste of their child's time. But for others it's their first time ever hearing such advice.


Thoughts? What if anything about this assignment bothers you?

** From what I gathered this class was in elective not a requirement **


by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 8:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kimmybabe
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:19 AM
1 mom liked this

I failed to see anything objectionable, especially since the class was an upper-class elective and perhaps even required the parents permission to enroll.

Sounded like good advice and age appropriate.

$5.00 kind of limits it to a few places like the food court at Costco, but ours did lots of those by walking down the road a few miles to Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor as they had season passes. 

I wonder how many guys or gals got up the courage to ask a gal or guy out under the pretext of doing a class assignment together and became couples?


Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 13, 2017 at 11:25 AM

According to Hello Giggles and Babble two popular social news sites the assignment is offensive and sexist. I'm not sure how. I think that it's encouraging communication and good manners. $5 seems like more than enough for teens. They need to learn how to spend time with one another not money.

One could be very creative with that little money.  I've had to rein in dd's boyfriend from spending his fry money. He dropped $280 on their TSO tickets! He wants to take her to an expensive Japanese resturant next week. 

I told him that I hope he is not trying to impress or buy dd. I told him I understand that he wants to do everything up big. As she is his first girlfriend and he seems like a romanatic but my kid like me would appreciate him thinking of her in the sense of buying her favorite candy bar and writting a sweet note. I told him I don't want him to get in the habit of buying his girlfriends because once he's in the military he may find some girls that want to take advantage him.

For his birthday instead of going to the Japanese resturant the kids are going to use my kitchen to make a bento box.

Quoting Kimmybabe:

I failed to see anything objectionable, especially since the class was an upper-class elective and perhaps even required the parents permission to enroll.

Sounded like good advice and age appropriate.

$5.00 kind of limits it to a few places like the food court at Costco, but ours did lots of those by walking down the road a few miles to Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor as they had season passes. 

I wonder how many guys or gals got up the courage to ask a gal or guy out under the pretext of doing a class assignment together and became couples?



iwashere
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 12:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm normally all about being a feminist. However, I live in the real world. And in that real world, I have seen way too many of my son's friends not understand how to date. It's like they were raised by wolves or something. If we don't teach the kids how to treat others, what is acceptable and what comes across as stalkerish, what do we think will happen? I can't tell you how many afternoons I've spent in my kitchen, giving advice to guys about what not to do. 

the suggestions came from the opposite sex for the forms. I don't see an issue with it. 

Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 13, 2017 at 1:01 PM

I've had to tell my little brother to lay off a few times. A few years ago some girl totally USED him. When it all came out my brother instantlly forgave her and thought texting her mulitple times a day that he missed her and just wants to make sure she's okay was a good idea.

I stopped him when he wanted to drive to her house, you know just to let her know one last time that he wasn't mad. *sigh*

Quoting iwashere:

I'm normally all about being a feminist. However, I live in the real world. And in that real world, I have seen way too many of my son's friends not understand how to date. It's like they were raised by wolves or something. If we don't teach the kids how to treat others, what is acceptable and what comes across as stalkerish, what do we think will happen? I can't tell you how many afternoons I've spent in my kitchen, giving advice to guys about what not to do. 

the suggestions came from the opposite sex for the forms. I don't see an issue with it. 


iwashere
by on Jan. 13, 2017 at 1:35 PM

Yeah, it's a fine line between stalking and "just stopped by multiple times to say hi."

Quoting Sydel:

I've had to tell my little brother to lay off a few times. A few years ago some girl totally USED him. When it all came out my brother instantlly forgave her and thought texting her mulitple times a day that he missed her and just wants to make sure she's okay was a good idea.

I stopped him when he wanted to drive to her house, you know just to let her know one last time that he wasn't mad. *sigh*

Quoting iwashere:

I'm normally all about being a feminist. However, I live in the real world. And in that real world, I have seen way too many of my son's friends not understand how to date. It's like they were raised by wolves or something. If we don't teach the kids how to treat others, what is acceptable and what comes across as stalkerish, what do we think will happen? I can't tell you how many afternoons I've spent in my kitchen, giving advice to guys about what not to do. 

the suggestions came from the opposite sex for the forms. I don't see an issue with it. 


cybcm
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 2:20 PM
I'd be one of the parents up in arms. A date assignment is just flat out inappropriate, and some of those instructions, particularly on the girls one are just sexist stereotypes.
Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 13, 2017 at 2:49 PM

They aren't instuctions. They are advice provided by other students. The assignment is part of the elective class the student chose to take.

I would be irritated if this was in an English class or if the suggestions were in fact RULES that had to be followed. But they aren't. They are suggestions from peers to peers. 

Quoting cybcm: I'd be one of the parents up in arms. A date assignment is just flat out inappropriate, and some of those instructions, particularly on the girls one are just sexist stereotypes.


cybcm
by Silver Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 3:22 PM
The elective class is Financial Literacy, as reported by many different news outlets. I don't see how a $5 date is relevant to a Financial Literacy class.

The list of "suggestions" (/instructions, come on, don't split hairs, they're given a sheet divided by gender, pink for girls of course, with a list of expected behaviours, the source is irrelevant) include many power-control issues, his money, she must eat, be feminine and lady-like, don't criticize, give her gifts. No. This is teaching power-control, a serious issue in forming the basis of abuse. These are important nuances that this teacher obviously doesn't understand, and is in no position to be teaching because he teaches Financial Literacy.

The eating all the food one because it's his money is hugely serious. You can't go around teaching girls that. Not can you go around teaching boys that that is an okay way to think.

In addition, there is little concern for the students well-being, whether that be LGBT students (I think my favourite article comment on this was "Ahh crap, if two girls went out they wouldn't be able to get in the door, then they would just have to stand outside talking about how fat they are") or simply students who don't have friends/intetests of the opposite sex, and where that would leave them in regards to this assignment. Teenagers can be cruel, they don't need to have assignments that further ostracise their peers, especially assignments with no academic merit.

Several psychologists and family violence specialists have weighed in on this and are mortified.

Thankfully, the Utah Board of Education also sees it that way and the assignment no longer exists.

Quoting Sydel:

They aren't instuctions. They are advice provided by other students. The assignment is part of the elective class the student chose to take.

I would be irritated if this was in an English class or if the suggestions were in fact RULES that had to be followed. But they aren't. They are suggestions from peers to peers. 

Quoting cybcm: I'd be one of the parents up in arms. A date assignment is just flat out inappropriate, and some of those instructions, particularly on the girls one are just sexist stereotypes.

Msgme
by Gold Member on Jan. 13, 2017 at 4:13 PM

i have to agree with cybcm here.   this assigment seems very little to do with the class.  The rules/suggestions are "old fashioned" to be nice.  Be feminine and lady like.  His money,  she needs a guide in figuring out what to order. The rule about vulgar language was on both sheets but for the girls not using vulgar language is lady like.  if he doesnt use vulgar language is that him being lady like?  The assignment was more about gender rules than spending $5 on an outing.

Quoting cybcm: The elective class is Financial Literacy, as reported by many different news outlets. I don't see how a $5 date is relevant to a Financial Literacy class. The list of "suggestions" (/instructions, come on, don't split hairs, they're given a sheet divided by gender, pink for girls of course, with a list of expected behaviours, the source is irrelevant) include many power-control issues, his money, she must eat, be feminine and lady-like, don't criticize, give her gifts. No. This is teaching power-control, a serious issue in forming the basis of abuse. These are important nuances that this teacher obviously doesn't understand, and is in no position to be teaching because he teaches Financial Literacy. The eating all the food one because it's his money is hugely serious. You can't go around teaching girls that. Not can you go around teaching boys that that is an okay way to think. In addition, there is little concern for the students well-being, whether that be LGBT students (I think my favourite article comment on this was "Ahh crap, if two girls went out they wouldn't be able to get in the door, then they would just have to stand outside talking about how fat they are") or simply students who don't have friends/intetests of the opposite sex, and where that would leave them in regards to this assignment. Teenagers can be cruel, they don't need to have assignments that further ostracise their peers, especially assignments with no academic merit. Several psychologists and family violence specialists have weighed in on this and are mortified. Thankfully, the Utah Board of Education also sees it that way and the assignment no longer exists.
Quoting Sydel:

They aren't instuctions. They are advice provided by other students. The assignment is part of the elective class the student chose to take.

I would be irritated if this was in an English class or if the suggestions were in fact RULES that had to be followed. But they aren't. They are suggestions from peers to peers. 

Quoting cybcm: I'd be one of the parents up in arms. A date assignment is just flat out inappropriate, and some of those instructions, particularly on the girls one are just sexist stereotypes.


Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 13, 2017 at 4:24 PM

The sites I checked cited it as a life skills/adult roles course combined with finance. I get what you are guys are saying. I just personally can't look at this and muster any kind of anger or emotional response.

I did have a feeling cybcm would be my feminist to speak out against it first :)

Quoting Msgme:

i have to agree with cybcm here.   this assigment seems very little to do with the class.  The rules/suggestions are "old fashioned" to be nice.  Be feminine and lady like.  His money,  she needs a guide in figuring out what to order. The rule about vulgar language was on both sheets but for the girls not using vulgar language is lady like.  if he doesnt use vulgar language is that him being lady like?  The assignment was more about gender rules than spending $5 on an outing.

Quoting cybcm: The elective class is Financial Literacy, as reported by many different news outlets. I don't see how a $5 date is relevant to a Financial Literacy class. The list of "suggestions" (/instructions, come on, don't split hairs, they're given a sheet divided by gender, pink for girls of course, with a list of expected behaviours, the source is irrelevant) include many power-control issues, his money, she must eat, be feminine and lady-like, don't criticize, give her gifts. No. This is teaching power-control, a serious issue in forming the basis of abuse. These are important nuances that this teacher obviously doesn't understand, and is in no position to be teaching because he teaches Financial Literacy. The eating all the food one because it's his money is hugely serious. You can't go around teaching girls that. Not can you go around teaching boys that that is an okay way to think. In addition, there is little concern for the students well-being, whether that be LGBT students (I think my favourite article comment on this was "Ahh crap, if two girls went out they wouldn't be able to get in the door, then they would just have to stand outside talking about how fat they are") or simply students who don't have friends/intetests of the opposite sex, and where that would leave them in regards to this assignment. Teenagers can be cruel, they don't need to have assignments that further ostracise their peers, especially assignments with no academic merit. Several psychologists and family violence specialists have weighed in on this and are mortified. Thankfully, the Utah Board of Education also sees it that way and the assignment no longer exists.
Quoting Sydel:

They aren't instuctions. They are advice provided by other students. The assignment is part of the elective class the student chose to take.

I would be irritated if this was in an English class or if the suggestions were in fact RULES that had to be followed. But they aren't. They are suggestions from peers to peers. 

Quoting cybcm: I'd be one of the parents up in arms. A date assignment is just flat out inappropriate, and some of those instructions, particularly on the girls one are just sexist stereotypes.



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