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Why? Just--Why?

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 12:09 AM
  • 16 Replies

We live in a quiet suburban neighborhood.  Last night about 4:30AM a car full of teenagers crashed into a tree about four houses down from us.  

Two kids, a 14-year-old and the fifteen-year-old driver, were killed.  Seven others were in the vehicle and all were taken to the hospital in ambulances.  One is in critical condition and may not make it.

My heart grieves for the families of these kids.  How truly, truly awful.  Nobody anywhere deserves to have theri life cut short at such a young age. 

On the other hand-  WHY ON EARTH did this happen?  Here we had middle school students out at 4:30 AM, apparently without any adult supervision.  They were nowhere near their homes-- in another county.

The driver apparently had a restricted license, which in Kansas means he's only allowed to drive to and from school or work, and he's not allowed to have any other minors as passengers.   Few if any of the kids were buckled up-- how could they be, with nine kids in a car designed to hold five at the most?

I am not into mommy-shaming, but my God.  Where are the parents?  


by on Apr. 10, 2017 at 12:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cybcm
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 3:10 AM
At that time I assume asleep.

I had ridiculously strict parents, but we lived in a huge house so once they were asleep I was out the window and they were none the wiser, couldn't hear a thing in that place.
StreetsAhead
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 5:01 AM
1 mom liked this
It has nothing to do with the parents, I imagine at 4.30am they were tucked up in bed asleep

I was run over as a teen, by a bloke who made a choice to get behind the wheel when it was illegal. That choice is all on him, not on the people who raised him, and he has to live with the consequences of those actions (he killed my best friend and gave me life changing injuries)
ljmom24
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 6:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Where are the parents?? I m guess sound asleep thinking their kids were too. Whether it was in their own bed or I'm guessing this happened Saturday night Sunday morning so they could have been spending the night at a friend's. Let's be honest who hasn't lied and gone to sleep over when the parents aren't home??

The blame lies with the kids. They made a bad choice and those that survived will forever live with the consequences. The parents will have their own self imposed guilt they do not need the community judgments. Unless there is evidence they handed the kids keys at 4am and said screw license restrictions go for a joy ride and if booze was involved if they provided then yah it's on them. If not it can happen to any of us
RaeMarie
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 7:34 AM

Putting blame on the kids is rightfully placed assuming they had just pulled one over on the parents. However, that may not be the case. My bil never enforced a curfew on his kids. Never. His ds and dd were delivered home on more than one occassion by the police in the middle of the night. There were no consequences. No reason not to be out at 3 in the morning. If the parents were negligent in general then the blame lies with them. Without knowing the ins and outs of the kids lives then you just don't know. 

calsmom62
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 7:41 AM
I can't even imagine......
ShaMac
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 7:43 AM
There are a few families at my dd's school like this. I sent a video to the police because it was a mom letting her 14 year old and their friends drink and make out in the car on the way to a party where she was dropping them off.

Quoting RaeMarie:

Putting blame on the kids is rightfully placed assuming they had just pulled one over on the parents. However, that may not be the case. My bil never enforced a curfew on his kids. Never. His ds and dd were delivered home on more than one occassion by the police in the middle of the night. There were no consequences. No reason not to be out at 3 in the morning. If the parents were negligent in general then the blame lies with them. Without knowing the ins and outs of the kids lives then you just don't know. 

Sydel
by Group Admin on Apr. 10, 2017 at 7:56 AM

That is incredibly sad.

mjande4
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

At that age, the kids KNOW what they are doing is wrong. Unfortunately for all involved it's a mistake that they can't come back from and several lives are irrevocably damaged.

atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:28 AM

OMG, yep, where are the parents when kids are out at that hour?  How awful.  Were they drinking?  

This happened in our area.  2 kids that just graduated with one of my dd's were killed instantly and the other kid in the car died a week later.  They were alll very drunk and given alcohol by adults at a grad party.  

We have curfew for any kid under 18 in our town.  Not out on the streets or in cars unless with adults after 11pm.  

romalove
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2017 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this

A few years ago, we had a very tragic accident right after Thanksgiving, an 18 year old girl and her 17 year old boyfriend were driving from one house to another, at night, speeding down a dark and windy local road, when a deer darted out and they careened off the road into a bank of trees.  Both died.  The girl was a cheerleader on one of my daughter's teams when she was younger, so we knew the girl and her mother, plus many of her close friends.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, worse than the death of a child.  You see it every time you look in the parent's eyes.  I'm terribly sorry there was such a tragedy near you, OP.

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