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Putting Up a Front

Posted by on Aug. 16, 2017 at 6:49 PM
  • 3 Replies

Why do teens insist on putting up fronts? For example, my pg dd16 doesn't want anyone to know she is getting attached or excited about her baby girl. She gets mad when anyone even brings up the topic. Then, when it is just her and I (and her gpa and the neighbor) she is all about the baby. She has always wanted people to think and believe that she doesn't like kids but in reality she loves them. Why hide that? Her bff is the same way. I always have to break through her wall when she is happy about stuff. Makes no sense!

by on Aug. 16, 2017 at 6:49 PM
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Replies (1-3):
cybcm
by Silver Member on Aug. 16, 2017 at 6:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Self-preservation
iwashere
by on Aug. 16, 2017 at 7:58 PM
1 mom liked this

She's scared of what people are saying. It's a self defence mechanism. Thankfully, she can be herself around you and her family.

eyeteachscience
by New Member on Aug. 19, 2017 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

In my experience with teens (HS Teacher, MS Teacher, mom of two (now grown) daughters), it's about her not wanting to be vulnerable.  It's definitely a defense mechanism. She doesn't want to be perceived as "weak" and when you care about people or things, some people think that makes you look 'weak'. The perception she is fighting is something like "If you like kids, you're a softy." As someone else mentioned, it's awesome she feels safe enough around you to be real about her feelings for that baby.  This pattern may ease up as she has the baby and gains more confidence in her 'right' to love and care deeply for a very dependent human being. As a grandma, I'm really excited for you! Praying all goes well and everyone is healthy.

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