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just don't know what to do anymore

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2017 at 10:29 PM
  • 8 Replies

My son just turned 13 in July, he was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a year ago and is on medication. He has a big issue with school, he missed over 30 days last year which ended up with em in court being threaten by a judge that i can face a $4,000 fine or jail time , I have to go back in October. 

Since the first court date he has missed another `12 days of school. I can not force him to go because he is bigger then I am so over powers me. The school says they can not force him to stay so what the heck am I suppose to do when nobody will help me?

Last year in the last week of school he threaten me with a pocket knife and a BB gun which I know something should have been done then such as calling the cops but my mother and sister threw a bitch fit so i didnt. My son just does not seem to care about anything, not even himself. He was told once he turned 13 they could put him in a special school or juvi without my consent and I know it may be horrible to say but I would rather see that happen before I end up in Jail, I have 2 toddlers, one being autistic and another child ont he way. What the hell am I suppose to do if I go to jail? What will happen to my kids? 

I have cried so much and my mom and sister do not help. My son has been staying with my sister since my mom moved out of state in February because of my situation and she has only made things worse by turning him against me , she seems to think my son is hers. She has been taking him to the doctors behind my back which from what i  thought was illegal without my consent. I went today and told them they are not to allow her to bring my son to the doctors or discuss anything with her. 

My sister is not right in the head , she is very hateful and has nothing good to say about anyone. Pretty much she just uses my son as someone to hang out with because she is 30 with no friends, never even had a boyfriend, she has come to the point of dressing him like her and even dying his hair like hers, who the hell does that? I also find it very odd how while away during the summer with my mother my son did not have a single issue, no outburst , no signs of depression or anxiety and did not even need his meds but then he came back to my sister and it all started back up again. This tells me that she may be responsible for how he is.  

I just don't know what to do other then allow them to put him away :( 

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by on Sep. 18, 2017 at 10:29 PM
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by on Sep. 18, 2017 at 10:34 PM
3 moms liked this
You need to take your son back and get yourselves enrolled in family therapy asap if you recognize your sister is a negative issue why leave your son there?
by Susie on Sep. 19, 2017 at 12:03 AM
Quoting dnoel18: You need to take your son back and get yourselves enrolled in family therapy asap if you recognize your sister is a negative issue why leave your son there?

This. I agree.
by Member on Sep. 19, 2017 at 12:10 AM
Your son needs to come home, to you. Keep your sister AWAY from him. He is not her play thing. Everyone needs to go to therapy and I think you should enroll your child into cyber school. Tell your son it's either cyber school or traditional school those are his only choices.
by Silver Member on Sep. 19, 2017 at 7:14 AM

Where is the boy's father?

by on Sep. 19, 2017 at 3:02 PM

I wasn't aware of any state that would send a mother of three children to jail for their child's absences given his mental health diagnoses.  It would be way too expensive for the state. Sounds like an empty threat.  You might get in touch with  legal aid or attorney or special education office in your district to check out the law in your state.

Either way here are some ideas.  *Call your school district office and ask for an assessment to see if he   qualifies for an IEP under Emotional Disturbance due to depression and anxiety.* He also may qualify for home teaching. *Check into your school district's homeschooling program as another option because many districts offer programs provided by district so that they don't lose the money provided by the state.  

I would then bring him home and cut off communication between your son and your younger sister if it is necessary.  A lot depends upon whether he has an IEP with your district as they usually provide some mental health services for your child or have good recommendations.for therapists.  If your younger child is autistic you may already be aware of the need for an IEP and school intervention.  There is an acronym regarding education worth remembering as a parent with children with disabilities -including mental health -FAPE (Free and Appropriate Education) for all students disabled or not. My prayers are with you as you navigate through this process.

Hugs! Hope this helps.

by on Sep. 19, 2017 at 8:29 PM

Hi Chrissy, I so feel the pain in your words. This is a hard situation. But do not give on YOU or YOUR SON.  He belongs to you and you might want to consider taking him back. God gave him to you and you can handle his needs.  The post from JJSong is excellent.  The school should be able to assist you....both with an IEP and the school counselor.  You can also make an appointment with the principal or vice principal and explain the situation. They might make good suggestions and offer resources that would be helpful.  You might also want to consider getting into family counseling with your son as it sounds like you both need the support. The situation with your sister and your son sounds very concerning and it might not be in your son's best interest to be under her influence. You also have a heavy heart with your Mom and could probably use the support of a counselor. If you are really concerned about your rights, please contact legal aid as well and make sure you understand what can or cannot be done with you or your children. Additionally, you might want to talk to your pediatrician who can give you some assistance with properly assessing your son's mental heath status. There is help out there!  You are not alone!  And you can do this. I will be praying for you and your children with a sincere heart.  Take a small step each day to get the answers you need.  I wish you the best. 

by Silver Member on Sep. 21, 2017 at 1:55 PM

I feel your fear. I am guessing you have him living elsewhere to protect your  other children from him. Pulling a knife or a bb gun is serious. I would feel so torn myself on being his mom and dealing with him or moving him out and protecting the others. You are in no easy spot. 

by on Sep. 21, 2017 at 2:14 PM

Why on Earth are you letting your sister and mother determine how you raise your son?  Not doing the thing you know is right makes no sense.  Report him NOW.  He could hurt you next time!  YOU are screwing up and you know it.  Tell your family to shut up and butt out.

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