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Where is the line between . . .

Posted by on Dec. 2, 2017 at 4:31 PM
  • 10 Replies

. . . typical teen stuff and sexual harassment, in your opinion?

Obviously stalking, intentional and non-consensual touching of any type is beyond the line, as is sexual banter or innuendos of any type. And continuous badgering for a date crosses the line at some point. However, as with Atlmom2's daughter and SIL that line is not crossed when the boy does it respectfully.

As a whole other discussion, I don't understand how teens think that treating some body like crap will get them anywhere with that person, romantically or other wise.

I have ZERO experience as a parent as our daughters and SILs are married to their junior high sweethearts and the teen granddaughters aren't boy crazy yet (and hopefully will not be for quite a while longer). They did each have a boy ask them to the Homecoming dance last month, but those are just friendships in the band.  And they, like our daughters run with a herd of other teens at Six Flags, movies, mall, etcetera.


by on Dec. 2, 2017 at 4:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
heybooboo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2017 at 7:34 PM

I think it varies for each individual, and I think the biggest factor is "when does it become uncomfortable?".

I am a big boundary enforcer if someone says "no', you respect it and move on.  That applies for every situation.  And that is what we have taught our kids.  If you can say no and still comfortably interact with that person, then it's a safe situation.  It's when you say "no" and conflict arises that red flags start to pop out of thin air.


Ziva65
by Silver Member on Dec. 2, 2017 at 10:57 PM
I see it as respect.

Honestly, “typical teen stuff” I don’t buy. If they’re flirting, dating, it can still be respectful and appropriate.
cybcm
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2017 at 12:41 AM
What does you mean by "typical teen stuff"?

What "typical teen stuff" can border with sexual harassment and assault?
Ziva65
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2017 at 1:25 AM
My daughter now 19 never was boy crazy. She’s dated a bit, gone to her dances, proms etc. but states boys/ dating are a distraction to her goal of being a physician. She wants to get married but no rush.

Her college roommate has already failed two classes and she is really off the deep end “boy crazy”. Roommate probably won’t return next semester. They don’t have to be “boy crazy”. I wasn’t either. Vice versa for boys too.

Quoting Kimmybabe:

. . . typical teen stuff and sexual harassment, in your opinion?

Obviously stalking, intentional and non-consensual touching of any type is beyond the line, as is sexual banter or innuendos of any type. And continuous badgering for a date crosses the line at some point. However, as with Atlmom2's daughter and SIL that line is not crossed when the boy does it respectfully.

As a whole other discussion, I don't understand how teens think that treating some body like crap will get them anywhere with that person, romantically or other wise.

I have ZERO experience as a parent as our daughters and SILs are married to their junior high sweethearts and the teen granddaughters aren't boy crazy yet (and hopefully will not be for quite a while longer). They did each have a boy ask them to the Homecoming dance last month, but those are just friendships in the band.  And they, like our daughters run with a herd of other teens at Six Flags, movies, mall, etcetera.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2017 at 4:24 AM
When they won’t take no for an answer, and have no reason to believe the other person won’t change their mind. When a girl has to lie and say she’s “with someone else” to get a guy to back off. When a guy demands reason after reason as to why she won’t date him and gets angry that she’s dating someone else because she said she “wasn’t interested in anyone”.

ljmom24
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2017 at 8:06 AM
It’s really a personal thing, we all have different thresholds. What some girl might see as part of the game an other night feel is harassment and it goesvthe same for boys.

I was never boy crazy, and there some boys that kept coming around. I just wasn’t ready for that whole stage. They didn’t just go away but they never crossed any line. Course by the time I was at that stage they had moved on but I still don’t think I would have dated them at the time.

Like someone else said it’s about respect and on the flip side of it in hind sight I could have been more vocal that I just didn’t want a boyfriend. I probably can’t off stuck up. It’s all about finding a balance.
mjande4
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2017 at 8:12 AM
1 mom liked this

I find it disheartening that the media and parents tend to only focus on boys making girls uncomfortable. As a high school teacher for over a quarter of a century, I can tell you MANY times girls are extremely aggressive and many times sexual harassment involves the same sex. 

calsmom62
by Bronze Member on Dec. 3, 2017 at 8:32 AM
Most of the teens in our area run in groups not pairing off. When our daughter was a tween and teen in the mid to late 90’s she had a couple of boys who literally stalked her( hiding in our bushes) but their parents were responsive when we reached out to them.
Ziva65
by Silver Member on Dec. 3, 2017 at 11:28 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes I agree about the girls. I have 1 girl and 3 boys. My daughter excluded but by far girls are more aggressive these days. I’d go so far as to say the majority of girls don’t even respect themselves.

Quoting mjande4:

I find it disheartening that the media and parents tend to think not focus on boys making girls uncomfortable. As a high school teacher for over a quarter of a century, I can tell you MANY times girls are extremely aggressive and many times sexual harassment involves the same sex. 

atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 3, 2017 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree and proud to say my girls are not in that category.

Quoting Ziva65: Yes I agree about the girls. I have 1 girl and 3 boys. My daughter excluded but by far girls are more aggressive these days. I’d go so far as to say the majority of girls don’t even respect themselves.

Quoting mjande4:

I find it disheartening that the media and parents tend to think not focus on boys making girls uncomfortable. As a high school teacher for over a quarter of a century, I can tell you MANY times girls are extremely aggressive and many times sexual harassment involves the same sex. 

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