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Appropriate Teenage Relationships

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2018 at 2:38 AM
  • 51 Replies

I have a 17  yo dd who has a variety of medical issues, so she's not your typical teenager.  She has a long term boyfriend (been over a year now with a small break over the summer) and I am worried that this is going to move into sex.  Yes I am aware, this is a normal transition and most teenagers in relationships have sex.

The problem is her health issues.  There are quite a few of them, but the one that concerns me is a problem in her brain.  She is at risk of having strokes, anyerisms, etc.  Because of where the problem is, it could completely make her into a toddler if this happens.  Now, this could happen at any moment with no predictability, BUT there are things that could set it off.  Pregnancy is the big one.  First of all, the blood pressure during sex, and then during pregnancy.  Most people don't know they have this problem until there is a problem and with her it would be devistating.

She is due for treatment this month, but it takes 3-5 years to even see if it would work.  In the meantime, I've got to figure out a way to protect her.  Birth control pills will not work, simply because she has no colon.  The implants are out of the question due to a different medical issue, the doctors simply will not permit it because it's too dangerous.  The shots, she has an allergy to them.  So pretty much all forms of birth control (except condoms) are out.  And of course condoms are not 100% even when they are used correctly, when most of them are not.

What would you do?  I can't lock her up but she doesn't take the risk seriously.  I talked to her boyfriend about the issue, but when the time comes, I doubt either of them will be thinking it could kill her.

by on Jan. 1, 2018 at 2:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2018 at 6:55 AM
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Talk to his parents. Ensure that they are never left alone together. Is there a way to petition the courts to have her declared unable to consent/guardianship when she turns 18 until the treatment is effective? I know that’s a long (and mean) shot, but if she has a seizure like that - she will be your full time responsibility for life. Otherwise I’d just have everyone explain it to her, sometimes they won’t listen to us, but to someone else like a doctor. Maybe even have her boyfriend attend this appointment to have him see how serious it is.
Kimmybabe
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2018 at 8:44 AM
What about an IUD?

I would also include BF in talks with her doctor.
chicken13
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2018 at 9:21 AM
What about a contraceptive sponge? Or a patch?

You’ve missed a few types of birth control.
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jan. 1, 2018 at 9:39 AM

Having the boyfriend attend the doctor's appointment is a great idea.  His parents already know about it all.  As for never alone, I don't given them oppurtutinities and she can't go to his house (severely allergic to cats and they have several indoor ones).  

Quoting GleekingOut: Talk to his parents. Ensure that they are never left alone together. Is there a way to petition the courts to have her declared unable to consent/guardianship when she turns 18 until the treatment is effective? I know that’s a long (and mean) shot, but if she has a seizure like that - she will be your full time responsibility for life. Otherwise I’d just have everyone explain it to her, sometimes they won’t listen to us, but to someone else like a doctor. Maybe even have her boyfriend attend this appointment to have him see how serious it is.


fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jan. 1, 2018 at 9:40 AM

Type of implant right?  They won't do that.

Quoting Kimmybabe: What about an IUD? I would also include BF in talks with her doctor.


fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jan. 1, 2018 at 9:41 AM

I forgot the sponge, I don't have any experience with that.  I've also never heard of a patch.

Quoting chicken13: What about a contraceptive sponge? Or a patch? You’ve missed a few types of birth control.


chicken13
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2018 at 10:15 AM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like you and your dd should talk to a gynecologist.

Quoting fantasticfour:

I forgot the sponge, I don't have any experience with that.  I've also never heard of a patch.

Quoting chicken13: What about a contraceptive sponge? Or a patch?

You’ve missed a few types of birth control.

chicken13
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2018 at 10:17 AM
Not really. It’s inserted...yes. But when they say implant they may be talking about the kind you can get in your arm.

Quoting fantasticfour:

Type of implant right?  They won't do that.

Quoting Kimmybabe: What about an IUD?

I would also include BF in talks with her doctor.

paxtonsunny
by on Jan. 1, 2018 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Blood pressure meds?? Would that help?
Sydel
by Group Admin on Jan. 1, 2018 at 4:18 PM

Both my daughter and I have the arm implant. It's good for 3 years. As far as her risking a sezuire to have sex... I got nothing. She could do that at any age. Not going to lie this reminded me of an episode of Shameless where Frank killed his girlfriend by having sex with her and her heart either stopped or exploded.  It was funny on tv but I could not imagine having to live with it in real life or having a loved  with such a risk. 

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