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Appropriate Teenage Relationships

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I have a 17  yo dd who has a variety of medical issues, so she's not your typical teenager.  She has a long term boyfriend (been over a year now with a small break over the summer) and I am worried that this is going to move into sex.  Yes I am aware, this is a normal transition and most teenagers in relationships have sex.

The problem is her health issues.  There are quite a few of them, but the one that concerns me is a problem in her brain.  She is at risk of having strokes, anyerisms, etc.  Because of where the problem is, it could completely make her into a toddler if this happens.  Now, this could happen at any moment with no predictability, BUT there are things that could set it off.  Pregnancy is the big one.  First of all, the blood pressure during sex, and then during pregnancy.  Most people don't know they have this problem until there is a problem and with her it would be devistating.

She is due for treatment this month, but it takes 3-5 years to even see if it would work.  In the meantime, I've got to figure out a way to protect her.  Birth control pills will not work, simply because she has no colon.  The implants are out of the question due to a different medical issue, the doctors simply will not permit it because it's too dangerous.  The shots, she has an allergy to them.  So pretty much all forms of birth control (except condoms) are out.  And of course condoms are not 100% even when they are used correctly, when most of them are not.

What would you do?  I can't lock her up but she doesn't take the risk seriously.  I talked to her boyfriend about the issue, but when the time comes, I doubt either of them will be thinking it could kill her.

by on Jan. 1, 2018 at 2:38 AM
Replies (51-51):
by Member on Jan. 6, 2018 at 12:58 PM
I was going to suggest a tubal ligation as well, or if they still make them, a diaphragm in conjunction with condoms and spermicide.
While no one wants to see a teenager undergo possibly permanent fertility surgery, in her child’s case it would be lifesaving. I would be very uncomfortable counting in two teenagers to be responsible enough to use condoms/ diaphragm/ spermicide correctly every time.

Quoting Kimmybabe: The pill, patch, nuva ring, shot, implant are all hormone based.

One brand of IUD also contains those hormones. The other brands of IUD use copper.

Planned parenthood says that under typical use over a one year period about 15% of females whose only method of cotraception is the condom, get pregnant. Condoms split or burst. Sometimes during removal, sperm spills out. Using spermicide improves the odds. Also you are counting on hapless witless teens to use it correctly every time.

I would suggest diwcussing and considering tubal ligation. It can be reversed with about a 67% success rate at a later date.

Quoting fantasticfour:

Seeing how AVMs are so rare that her NEUROLOGIST isn't even a specalist in them (had to go to a neurosurgeon for it) then no.  But she does know what meds she is on and what medical problems she has and what procedures she is going through.  We have discussed with all her specialist the different types and ideas and I have been told no from each of them because of certain things.

Her GI has informed me that the IUD is not an option due to the complication it can cause with her disease.

Her hemotologist has informed me that horemone versions are out because of increased blood clot risk (she has already had 3 of them).

The neurosurgeon has informed me of the dangers of pregnancy and how it can be life threatening to her.  

Pretty much leaves condoms (unreliable most of the time) the sponge (which I have only heard of in one single episode of Seinfield) and patches, but someone mentioned that they are hormone.

Quoting chicken13: My dd also has a severe medical condition and it too is complicated. I�¢ï¿½ï¿½ve had to conference in specialists for the simplest of things like vacations, concussion testing and even getting her wisdom teeth out.

Is the gynecologist a specialist in your daughters condition? Cause if not...her go to answer is probably a big old NO. Cause NO is pretty uncomplicated and easy to give.

Quoting fantasticfour:

The gyno was the one shooting down options due to her medical conditions.  She was the one discussing options and she could have not mentioned a few of them because they won't work or it just slipped her mind.  I am going to contact her about the suggestions I've seen on here.

Quoting chicken13:

Clearly it wasn't a thorough discussion cause you didn't go over ALL the possible forms of birth control available nowadays.  

And, as a mother of a child with a severe medical condition....I've found that gathering the medical professionals from various disciplines into one room to talk about cross topics is way way way more effective than talking to them individually.  Often they'll veto something becuase they have no experience with the topic and it's the easy answer.  Setup a conference or teleconference to discuss with her various specialties...

Quoting fantasticfour:

We have.  Due to previous blood clots, the shots are out because it increases the risks for blood clots and with the malformation in her brain no one is taking a chance.

Quoting chicken13: Sounds like you and your dd should talk to a gynecologist.

Quoting fantasticfour:

I forgot the sponge, I don't have any experience with that.  I've also never heard of a patch.

Quoting chicken13: What about a contraceptive sponge? Or a patch?

You�¢ï¿½ï¿½ve missed a few types of birth control.

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