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Trust but Verify

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2018 at 8:13 AM
  • 10 Replies

I trust tori i really do, but something just tells me to verify this time.   A cpl weeks ago tori asked if her friend could sleep over this Friday because her parents will be out of town this fri into saturday  and they don't like leaving her home alone due to an incident over the summer.  I said yeah sure.  Then 2 days ago she tells me the friends grandfather might be coming in to watch the house and if he does then they will spend the night there  I asked her again just before she left for school and she said it will either be the grandfather or the friends older sister.   My mom senses are tingling and I need to speak witth the mom on this one. Of course from Tori's perspective i'm being horrible and I'm not trusting her.

by on Mar. 8, 2018 at 8:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2018 at 8:31 AM
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Based on all of the things you've previously posted, I would hope you would verify the story. If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck . . . 

chicken13
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2018 at 10:01 AM
“My job as a parent is to monitor you....get over it”.

Dd doesn’t even flinch when I verify and I do. All the time. And she knows it.

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 8, 2018 at 10:59 AM

Nope, I would check too.  Especially staying the weekend.  

Heck, we had kids at our house for parties SO many weekends I can't tell you.  Many parents didn't call ever or stopped calling.  I had one Mom who always called to make sure we would be home.  I love that Mom.  Sorry but you cannot be too careful when it comes to teens.  Way later on oldest dd told me kids would say they were coming to our house and they wouldn't because parents trusted us and "trusted" their kids.  I found that very interesting.  

heybooboo
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2018 at 11:02 AM
I would check with the parents.
Kimmybabe
by Silver Member on Mar. 8, 2018 at 11:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes the Reagon doctrine of " trust but verify" is as valid with teens as it is with the Russians!!!!
PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2018 at 11:45 AM

Sounds like the friend is planning to P-A-R-T-A-Y!!!  I would definitely be talking to the kid's parents.  

Msgme
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2018 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't always call the mom to check on things.  the girls are always in a video chat its like the girl is in my home all the time but not physically there so there have been a few times ive asked a few questions when i know the mom could hear me. or i'll have the girls send me a pic of them doing something silly like hold thier noses  or pull on their ears with mom or dad in the pic.  and sometimes i'll straight up speak with her.   They were telling the truth gradnpa was thinking about coming in and he would of kept an eye on them but at around 8 pm last night he confirmed he was not coming so the mom called me back to tell me they would be sleeping here tonight. The older sister of the friend will be home but no one is sure exactly when she'll get in.   so tonight they are here tomorrow they are sleeping there so that they can get to the school early on sunday to leave for albany.

Quoting atlmom2:

Nope, I would check too.  Especially staying the weekend.  

Heck, we had kids at our house for parties SO many weekends I can't tell you.  Many parents didn't call ever or stopped calling.  I had one Mom who always called to make sure we would be home.  I love that Mom.  Sorry but you cannot be too careful when it comes to teens.  Way later on oldest dd told me kids would say they were coming to our house and they wouldn't because parents trusted us and "trusted" their kids.  I found that very interesting.  


sahlady
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2018 at 10:29 AM

I think you have to go with your gut.  Last weekend my daughter stayed at someone's house BECAUSE the parents were gone and the girl didnt want to stay alone.  But that sort of thing is a case by case basis.  Had it been my other daughter or a different kid, it might not have been allowed.  You know your kid and their friends well enough, listen to your gut.

Bellalee1
by on Mar. 13, 2018 at 7:20 PM

My suggestion is to trust but I would certainly verify. Mum instincts should not be ignored and better to keep her safe than be sorry.

HannahandherSis
by on Mar. 13, 2018 at 9:21 PM

I think you are doing the absolute right thing. Check it out with the parents.

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