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Party/Get together without parents *UPDATE in red

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2018 at 12:36 AM
  • 33 Replies
1 mom liked this

My 14 year old was invited to her friend's birthday party. It sounds like they are becoming closer to boyfriend/girlfriend. I have not met him yet...and, obviously, his parents. I told her that I need to meet him and talk to his parents to make sure they are going to be home.

This makes me think....at what age are you okay with your teen going to their friends or bf/gf house without their parents there? Under what circumstances do you require their friends parents to be there? When are you ok when they are not?

My daughter told her friend that I wanted to make sure there were going to be adults there so his mom ended up calling me.  We chatted and she assured me that not only was there going to be adults but he had to give her a guest list and anyone not on the guest list had to leave.  She sounded just as protected as I was, which was great.  Unfortunately, I was with my younger twins and their game that evening so she offered to pick my daughter up for me.  When I picked my daughter up that evening, his mom and dad and I chatted for a bit.  REALLY nice people and they are on board with making sure our kids are safe and making good decisions.  Both of our kids are on competitive teams and both are hoping to go to college to play sports.  Both kids are good kids and pretty focused.  I just hope it stays that way.  hahaha

My next concern is that his parents bought him a car for his birthday.  Now....navigating THAT will be interesting. 

by on Mar. 21, 2018 at 12:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MissAndree
by Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 12:44 AM
It has really never been a requirement to be honest.
ETA, as a teenager,that is.
M4LG5
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 1:09 AM
It doesn't matter if parents are there or not for parties?

Quoting MissAndree: It has really never been a requirement to be honest.
ETA, as a teenager,that is.
MissAndree
by Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 1:11 AM
Not really. My kid is going to act the same either way.

Quoting M4LG5: It doesn't matter if parents are there or not for parties?

Quoting MissAndree: It has really never been a requirement to be honest.
ETA, as a teenager,that is.
M4LG5
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 1:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I'll be honest, I am worried about sex (though we have talked about it) and underage drinking. She is a good kid and we've talked at length about these but at 14, I don't think any party should not be without a parent there.

Quoting MissAndree: Not really. My kid is going to act the same either way.

Quoting M4LG5: It doesn't matter if parents are there or not for parties?

Quoting MissAndree: It has really never been a requirement to be honest.
ETA, as a teenager,that is.
MissAndree
by Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 1:22 AM
1 mom liked this
My biggest concern has always been that my daughter was safe. She's always been the kind of kid that texted me throughout the evening and she has always known that if a situation was getting out of control, or that if there was stuff going on that she didn't want to be a part of, she just calls her dad or I, and we come get her, no questions asked. She has been to parties where there was drinking, and probably sex, just not out in the open. I know that has happened when there were parents there.

Quoting M4LG5: I'll be honest, I am worried about sex (though we have talked about it) and underage drinking. She is a good kid and we've talked at length about these but at 14, I don't think any party should not be without a parent there.

Quoting MissAndree: Not really. My kid is going to act the same either way.

Quoting M4LG5: It doesn't matter if parents are there or not for parties?

Quoting MissAndree: It has really never been a requirement to be honest.
ETA, as a teenager,that is.
turtle68
by Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 4:14 AM
2 moms liked this

As a romantic couple...never while they are under 16yo.  I dont want any of my kids being jailed for statutory rape.  They want sex, they can wait until they are 16.

For friends...13years seems ok to me.  There are rules though.  They have to be only in the house and not out roaming around.

For parties...they are never going to a party where there is no adult supervision.

cybcm
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 4:22 AM
It's not something I've ever really thought about.
patnic
by Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 7:25 AM

I know what I was doing without parents around in high school - drinking and fooling around with boys (although, not sex)...  I don't really know of a specific age...  Good luck!

atlmom2
by Susie on Mar. 21, 2018 at 7:54 AM
1 mom liked this
My kids didn't go to parties with no parents till after HS.
ljmom24
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2018 at 8:19 AM
My oldest isn’t really a party person. He hates loud music and has social anxiety so in some ways I’m lucky. I’m not naive though. He has friend he’s known since kindergarten and we’ve known the parents as long. I’m comfortable with him hanging out at those houses with or without parents. We haven’t shown any interest in dating yet so right now not an issue.

My little one is going to be different issue.
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