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Help with Daughter's First Period

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2009 at 9:24 PM
  • 18 Replies

I am new to Cafemom and have been searching the site in hopes of some wisdom.  The key word search led me here and I know as Moms of teenagers you all have been down this road. I am hopeful someone can offer me some insight.

Samantha has had some spotting a few times but it was always gone before I knew it had happened.  Today when she came home after school and was changing out of her uniform she screamed like she saw a ghost.  I ran in to find her finding out she has started her period.  I got her calmed down and she is now watching tv and wearing her first pad.  I knew this was coming but I am absolutely not ready for it and neither is she. She is only 9 and I didn't start until I was almost 12.


by on Apr. 17, 2009 at 9:24 PM
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by on Apr. 17, 2009 at 9:26 PM

Wow, that's young!  But it's up to you to let her know that this is a totally natural thing, and it's nothing to be afraid of.  Be calm, and be reassuring!  You've done this for years yourself--you know what to expect, and you need to let her know, but as calmly and easily as you can...God bless! 

Dreaming of that Paradise Earth...

by on Apr. 17, 2009 at 10:21 PM

Holy Cow! Now, I better have a talk with my daughter.  I know ladies who have started around 9 yrs old.  I was 13 when I started - but I have nieces who were closer to 10 yrs old.  She will be fine, and so will you Mama.  It is tough to see our children coming into the first signs of adulthood.

by on Apr. 17, 2009 at 10:34 PM

The best this is to let her feel comfortable talking to you about it.  Let her know she can tell you when she needs more pad/tampons.  Just be real open and honest with her.  I know there are some great books about a girls body put out by American Girl.  I got my daughter the book at target for $10 it explains everything from shaving,periods, using deoderent and lots more...good luck... I remember getting ready to walk out the door to catch a flight when my daughter came crying I started my period.  What a great way to start a family vacation..She had just turned 11 yrs old 

in loveboy n girltwin boys


by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 12:50 AM

I posted last night about this same thing. My DD is 9 and her name is Samantha too!. I'll find my post and link it here, maybe it will have so other tips too.

I did post in it that they say girls start about 2 years before their mom did. I've already talked to my DD teacher because I really believe my DD will be starting soon. 


*Edit* Here is my post from last night

 The "Aunt Flow" talk ( starting your 1st period)

by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 12:57 AM

My DD turned 9 in Nov, she has been wearing  deodorant ( let me rephrase, she has been wearing and needing it since she was 8) and she had to start wearing a bra last summer too. She doesn't need to wear them under all her shirts,but the pull over ones she does.Its funny,when we first got them she loved them,last Thursday when she got home from school she said " can I take this thing off! Its hot!! LOL......welcome to the real world hun!


by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 9:27 AM

Awee man!  This is something I never thought of til just now!  I had 4 boys before I had my little girl (she is 2) and I have just never thought about it.  I think I am going to cry when it happens, lol. She is our baby too (not having anymore) so that is going to make it even worse.

I remember when I first started mine, I was almost 14 (a late bloomer) just make sure she feels comfortable enough to talk to you about it because I had lost my mother at 9 and had to rely on my stepmom who was NOT very helpful in my situation.  She would laugh at me when I would ask her about it then I would over hear her telling all her friends.  So please, although she may make you wanna laugh and tell people, don't do it in front of her and answer any question that she has just like you would answer anything else.  I know you are probably not anything like my stepmom, just giving you a heads up.


by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 9:53 AM

wow, 9 is so young, practically still a baby. I started when I was 13, and my daughter started when she was 13 too. She was perfectly fine with it, but I kept asking her how she was, how she was feeling, did she have any cramps.... she would laugh and say "mum, I'm fine".  That made me feel much better than having her freak out over it, but it was still weird...she was growing up. It's an odd feeling.

Just make sure your daughter is perfectly comfortable talking to you about it, and everything should be ok. oh, I just remembered....when my daughter had her first period, she didn't have another one for 2 months. So that was nice, but then they were every month after that, and sometimes even closer. I asked the pediatrician about it and he said it's perfectly normal to have it closer than the "normal" 28 days. For awhile there, she was starting every 3 weeks. I know that had to stink, but it seems like she's on track now, only once a month.

My daughter's friend was the same way, started her first one, then didn't have another one til 2 months later. The problem with all of this is not knowing when you're going to start and having to be worried about starting while you're in school. No one wants to wear a pad all the time "just in case", but then you don't want to start and have a mess either. I always bought panty liners and told her to wear them in case she started when she didn't think she was going to start.

Good luck. :)

    spring springtime                               

by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 1:46 PM

Oh, boy I know how you feel, 9 is so young, I was drepessed and so crush recently  with my daugther having her first period, she is almost 11 and I tought that was so early, I had mine almost at 14 years old.

It is scary to know your baby, is already capable to have babies!!!!,and the hole idea of teens and preteens starting to have sex so early than we did, with all that technology at their hands and finding chats where pedophiles  can have access to info about our kids!!! Make me stress out!

But also is important to let them know is a natual process in their bodies and that is precious for their lives and that's the way God makes us.

Anyway I don't want to scare you or depress you I just think is so important to have our kids inform in a proper manner, to be aware of dangers and concecuense of doing something foolish or trust to anybody.

someone recomended this website has a package on a little bag with pads, wipes and info for youngsters, and other products for sale.

I found that kotex have the smaller pads that fit better to my daugther undies.

Also check out a book from the library call Girls  body book, and I read it before hand it to my daughter and I found it helpful the way they explain all the changes that involve puberty, without talking too much into sex. I think is very important to have conversation in diferent levels and not all the info at once. Please read the books before hand it to your kids, because sometime the tittle or subject doesn't mean they are appropiate for your kid, even tought their mean to be for kids.

Hope this info help.

We have to encorage our daughter to have confidence, know how to defenden theirselves, be proud of their bodies, and make wise decisions.



by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 2:24 PM

Wow only nine, thats sooo young, I didnt start untill maybe 11 or 12, I know how you must feel , she is stiil a baby in your eyes and now she has her period. I know in school they usually have a special assembly for girls where they talk about the whole period thing, has your daughter's school had this? Before she got it, did she know anything about it? It must be scary for her, just be there for her answer any questions she may have about it, make her feel comforable, give her as much facts about it so she knows what to expect, and i think you both will be fine, I know when my daughter gets hers i will probaby cry too, it's like your baby is taken away from you and is now being a woman, god ness why do they start so soon 9 isnt a woman yet, i guess i'll balme it on mother nature

by on Apr. 18, 2009 at 10:24 PM

I appreciate all of the replies!  It looks like my daughter is the youngest here to be going through this. 

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