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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Can someone explain why texting is such a big deal???

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My 13 y.o. ds has been pestering us to add unlimited texted to our cell plan.  I refuse, because honestly, I think texting is one of the most worthless things to do.  If you want to talk...call your friend.  Or get online and email or IM.  I don't care, but I'm NOT spending an extra 20 bucks a month so you can chat with your friends, when the cell was not given to you as a communication tool for anyone but us.  *sigh* I don't care if he calls his buddies after 7 pm or all day on the weekends, but seriously, the kid thinks we are ruining his life when we say NO to texting.  I think it's rude.  My own nearly 21 year old sister sits there at family functions texting back and forth with her friends and boyfriend.  When I tell my ds to just call...supposedly these same friends who can text whenever they want, can't physically pick up the phone or they will get in "trouble" with their parents.  It's become such a sore spot around here, and my ds has been texting a friend of his in another state anyway, that we are taking the texting option off of his phone (it's off of mine, as well, due to multiple texts from from an out of country number for a few months a few years back).  He's also grounded for a week because he kept on texting when he was told it was against our rules.  Ugh.  Any thoughts?





by on Apr. 20, 2009 at 10:13 PM
Replies (11-19):
covergirl1953
by on Apr. 21, 2009 at 3:40 PM

my 16 year old has a cell phone and I like the idea that she one. That way if she every needs me she can get a hold of me are one of her sisters.As for the texing I like it to it helps with typing but she is also on the phone a lot to and has chores if she didn't get her choures done I take the phone away and give it back to her when she does get it done. I even have texing on my phone but I'm not as fast as she is.

So I don't care about the texings.

 

Have a good day
aunt_shel
by on Apr. 21, 2009 at 4:13 PM

My kids both have phones and my 12 yr old texts more than the 16yr old (both boys). I am not sure why, but it is just a phase I think and I think it will wear off soon enough. We do hawever have the unlimited text so that we do not have to pay the average bill everymonth. And my kids have rules just like the rest of you about no phone at dinner, family functions...etc...especially after 9:00 at night...just don't go there with me. You are supposed to be showering and getting ready for bed not texting.

And I do take their phone every so often as soon as it beeps to see who it is and what they are saying....mean momma I know. 

osmom93
by on Apr. 21, 2009 at 5:04 PM

oh I will do a random check of Os phone as well. O is aware of this and realizes that it can come at any time. if I feel that she has been texting more than usual, or seems moody or secretive, then I want to find out if there's a reason for it. there have been times when I have found things on her phone, snippets of conversation that have concerned me and then we talk about it. so I guess it's a way to keep dialog w/her open.  




Check out my blog!! ~ http://osmom93.blogspot.com/
I'm on Facebook too. :o)

dawnjohnson5
by on Apr. 21, 2009 at 5:09 PM

I am just as guilty as the teenagers.  I would much rather text than sit and have a conversation.  Sometimes it is easier to text what I need than to try to talk with 5 kids sitting here.

Both of the older two boys have cell phones on our plan which includes unlimited texting.  They text day and night.  It doesn't bother me though.  lol

T45
by on Apr. 21, 2009 at 7:45 PM

Ok I am 46 and I like to text.  Not over and over but if I want to send my husband a message that he is more likely to get and not disturb him at work I text him.  The one thing I can say about texting and teens is that 20.oo a month keeps them from running up the talking bill.  My dd once used up all our minutes a month and left two for me.  texting took care of that problem.


Roe2457
by on Apr. 22, 2009 at 9:19 AM

  First they all have to have a phone, then they can not live without an IPOD, then  a camera phone and now unlimited texting. Although my children are grown my cousin's DD is only 13 and gets everything that's new to be like everyone else. Why have a cell phone if all you're going to do is text?? Isn't that what we own computers for? My day you went to your friends house or call on a OMG a push dial phone or a rotary one. Ro

tealadyd
by on Apr. 22, 2009 at 9:54 AM

It's the cool thing to have and do at the moment.  I'm glad to see so moms putting conditions on the use of it though.  I think it can be addicting and detrimental to social skills. When I was a teen aI talked on the phone for hours, (land line).  So my mom had to get me my own phone and phone number.  Now I can't stand talking on the phone.  I'd much rather e-mail. 

The worst thing is, my husband is a high school teacher. And kids sit through his Biology class all day and text.  They can't pay attention or have the courtisy to put it away at appropriate times.  And oh my goodness, if you try and take it away, some parent comes running in threatening a lawsuit because for their very special child it is a safety issue, and they must  be able to text 24/7 in case of an emergency.

2protectivemom
by on Apr. 22, 2009 at 10:36 AM

First off, I feel exactly the same way as you do about texting.  My son is a Senior and VERY responsible, so he had 200 texts until about 2 weeks ago and he promised to pay for it himself if I added Unlimited.  His friends all have unlimited, and they text him all the time even though they know he has a certain amount. Since he is getting ready to turn 18 and will be soon going out into the world I got it for him, but made him pay me a month in advance and he knows that the day he doesn't pay me when the bill comes in, I will have Texting completely cut off !  I REFUSE to pay for something so stupid ! 

I have a 13 year old daughter who begs for it all the time, but she won't get it until she is 18 (or darn close to it) and can pay for it herself.  She caused me to have a $300 bill for texting one month so it is COMPLETELY BLOCKED on her phone. 

I bought them the phones to communicate with ME because they are so involved in sports and with running 3 kids here, there and everywhere, we needed them.  They were not bought as a means to socialize with all their friends.  The month that DD had the high bill, most of the texting was done  while she was in class so she couldn't have been learning ! 

I think that texting is a big deal because they can communicate with friends and noone hears what is being said.  They can be talking about sex, drugs, anything and you have no idea. 

tracylynnr67
by on Apr. 22, 2009 at 11:35 AM


Quoting Roe2457:

  First they all have to have a phone, then they can not live without an IPOD, then  a camera phone and now unlimited texting. Although my children are grown my cousin's DD is only 13 and gets everything that's new to be like everyone else. Why have a cell phone if all you're going to do is text?? Isn't that what we own computers for? My day you went to your friends house or call on a OMG a push dial phone or a rotary one. Ro


Teens today seem a lot busier than we were as teens. Mine have maybe 1 or 2 days a MONTH to hang out with friends. If they aren't working then their friends are and if their friends aren't working they are. Right now both of mine have track practice 3 days a week & track meets twice a week, work 2-3 nights a week and my 18yo has drama practices every weeknight and Sat. (the play is this weekend so after 3 mos. that will calm down) and homework. That's normal for them. From July-Oct. they have football practice & games start in August & drama starts back up in Sept. for the Dec. play. The only place they go on school nights is work, if they don't work then they are home after their activities are done with. On weekends they can go out on Friday OR Saturday if they are off of work before 9....only one night though because the other night we do something as a family if they are off work by 9. If they only have 1 early night, what they do depends on the last time they had time out with friends or us. Sundays are family days if everyone is home early enough (which usually is NOT the case, they usually work until 8 or 10 on Sundays). 

Honestly, when they are home I'd rather they text back and forth with someone then spend hours isolated in their room on the phone or monopolizing the computers (which are kept in the living room) or living on the game system (which is also in the living room). Instead of closing themselves off in their rooms my teens eat supper with us every night (some nights we eat very late because we always eat together), we watch TV together every night as well (they don't have cable in  their rooms, just DVD players) and just spend time together, we hang out & play board games and we go out together. Texting doesn't isolate them from us. Living on the phone or the computer does, IMO.


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