Relinquishing custody of my teenaged son

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  • Ewadun
  on Jul. 17, 2009 at 2:09 PM

• My hubby loves his children very much. So much, in fact, that he has gone above and beyond on many occasions to give me and the kids the help we need. My hubby attended each and every child's birth, cut their cords, and pays me child support faithfully. They spend every summer and fall break with him in Chicago. I'm looking into Chicago's "Male rites to passage" program that I sent my oldest son to in Strawberry Point, IA. There he too will learn conflict resolution, anger management, leadership skills and how to live off the land. Also, I'm looking into him rejoining capoeira classes and drill team meetings. I'm also checking whether I can transfer his Big Brother/Big Sister affiliation there. My oldest son, Jason, who is 25, is also willing to go whatever distance to help his younger brother, Malek,  find himself.  Did I mention that Jason is a Park District Director who works with troubled youth? Chicago, while very racist, has far more to offer youths than here in Phoenix, AZ.

  I do live in Section 8 Public Housing and am praying that Legal Aid can renegotiate my lease. I also know that a load has been lifted off me since making this plan for my son. You cannot measure a Mother's love versus a Father's love for their offspring. In all due humility, I won't say I'm better at parenting than my Husband. We both have good, bad and ugly characteristics. I can say, for a fact, that my children are turning out to be much better kids with a two-headed family. Truly, what I'm experiencing is that ain't no mountain high enough, or valley low enough that my hubby and I will not go for our kids. I'm so sorry that more men don't participate in their children's lives like mine.

   

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  • IndigoGirl1971
  on Jul. 29, 2009 at 9:31 PM

• My son ran away for the first time 5 days ago, and that's after the same kind of behavior you've experienced with your son so I definitely can share your pain.  You know what, your son does need his dad & brother right now.  He's in a transition phase in his life with him turning into an adult and it sounds like your ex will be a wonderful role model for him at this crucial stage in his life. 

  You sound like a wonderful mom and are just doing what needs to be done.  His behavior should not be the cause of you & your daughter being homeless.  I don't agree with the other mom who said you were just "handing him off."  You are making a good decision.

  

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• by
  • Ewadun
  on Jul. 31, 2009 at 12:48 AM

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  Quoting IndigoGirl1971:
  
  

  My son ran away for the first time 5 days ago, and that's after the same kind of behavior you've experienced with your son so I definitely can share your pain.  You know what, your son does need his dad & brother right now.  He's in a transition phase in his life with him turning into an adult and it sounds like your ex will be a wonderful role model for him at this crucial stage in his life. 

  You sound like a wonderful mom and are just doing what needs to be done.  His behavior should not be the cause of you & your daughter being homeless.  I don't agree with the other mom who said you were just "handing him off."  You are making a good decision.

  I'm sorry that you too had to go through a runaway child. With my son gone, I'm investigating a backup plan (living at a shelter with my daughter) in the event my lawyer can't get my leasing company to renegotiate. I do live in a privately held Section 8 building. I'm also on the dept of housing's Section 8 program and they say I'm #25 on the list. My lease here is up on August 30. I haven't worked since February, but scratching myself bald trying to figure out how to come up with truck leasing and storage costs.
  

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• by
  • GramaDart
  on Jul. 31, 2009 at 10:46 AM

• We all only do what we can with what we have. Be thankful that his father is willing to work with him! You are not giving up loving him - you are showing how MUCH you love him!

  My daughter is only 17 & has chosen to go live with a close family friend of ours because she is so uncomfortable in our school. She of coarse hates her father & I but that is a teenage thing. We have argued & cried & discussed & been sad. In the end if she gets a diploma is all that matters. We are going to let her try it. . .

  (((BIG HUGS))) and God Bless you for being a caring mother!

  Good Luck to you & your family.

   

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