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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

My 15 year old daughter is fascinated with FaceBook and MySpace.  We have caught her on both of these sites.  She also has been caught texting a boy we don't know who she met on one of these sites.  She is now banned from cell phone usage and any computer time alone.  She tells us she is lonely and wants friends, but from what I saw on these places was that all they wanted was nude pictures of her and all they talked about was sex.  Am I wrong about these sites?  My husband and I don't feel comfortable with her talking to these boys when we don't know them.  I have tried to help her make friends, but she has a very hard time.  She is adopted from Ukraine and has been in this country for 6 years. 

Thanks

Cheryle A. Roberts

by on Jul. 11, 2009 at 12:41 PM
Replies (21-28):
lovetulips78
by on Sep. 10, 2009 at 11:46 PM

This is a tricky one! My friend's 13 year old daughter is on myspace which I think is totally wrong!!  She's way to young to be on there! Her age is shown as 15!  I think you should have to be at least 16 to be on these sites!  I think you should give your daughter a little bit of freedom but not to do whatever she wants either. Maybe be able to check her profiles and messages??

Photobucket

Zookeeperof4
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 6:21 AM

I am a mom to a 10, 7, and 4 year old boy and two girls.  My 10 year old doesnt have a Myspace because of what we encountered with his cousin.  I am on my nieces profile and I also go onto her friends pages as well.  When she was 13 there was 28 year old men on her page.  I asked her who they were and how she knows 28 year olds...she said they are on all of her friends pages and they are very nice guys.  ( I told her a nice 28 year old doesnt have 13 year olds on his myspace unless they are his niece/nephew or kids) I forced her to delete them as well as over 200 other people.  Tell me how a 13 year old has 600 "Friends" on her page...how can you even really KNOW 600 people....

Then I went onto her best friends page...in one of her photos she was laying on the bed with her legs spread open and the caption said "want some come get some"...yes she was fully dressed but hello...so not appropiate for a 13 year olds page.  The town she had listened was "wouldnt you like to know" and then in her PUBLIC profile it said I am a 8th grader at ____ middle school.   (So much for that "wouldnt you like to know" garbage)

I do think that Myspace can be an innocent experience for a kid...but only if they have a parent who gives a rats rear end about them.  If the parent is willing to monitor them and their profiles..and I dont mean you  have to hold their hand while they type.  Once a week or two just going through a profile is plenty if you have trust worthy kids.  HOWEVER that all said my kids will not be getting a Myspace anytime soon....LOL

DogsMom
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 7:59 AM

And my parents were worried about the music I listened to.

I think you need to experience the social online communities yourself so you can choose the right way to handle it for yourself,   but if she says she is lonely or needs friends,  that is a different issue.   What are  her interests, hobbies, talents.  Who are her friends at school?

If you have no answers to these questions you need to get her involved in some real life activities and meet real flesh and blood people who you can watch her interact with.

After 6 years, not only should she have some experience in this culture but she would be fascinating to get to know as having experience from somewhere many kids her age have never been.   It is important she make good friends now.  Once you get "old"  it gets more difficult - but not impossible.

Boothfamily
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 8:22 AM

When my child can get on myspace w/o having to lie about her age, then she will be allowed to have it with me being able to view it and her messages.

I wouldn't mind her having friends on there that she met at school, but NOT random people that she really does not know. I can see your point but then again I can see hers. She seems desparate to meet friends. Maybe she would like to do some kind of sport after school to get her more involved!

damira
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 8:38 AM

facebook isn't bad.


momof2bio72step
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 8:41 AM

I am a SM, DH has 2 daughters with all the things they have done on MS they aren't even aloud on the computer alone let alone have use of email, MS or FB at our house. BM lets them run wild. Post photos of them necking with their BF's, pictures of their friends smoking weed, and more nasty things, not to mention how they talk to people. So I totally agree with OP'er if the kids can't be honest and open cut them off. OP'er already has reason not to trust her DD. If your gut tells you take the privilage away do it. We did the kids don't like it but that is why we are parents and they are called kids.

momof2bio72step
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 8:45 AM

How do you check message the snicky brat deleted and removed from the trash bin?? When they know you are watching they get super snicky then. I just say no and that is that. Problem solved.

Quoting lovetulips78:

This is a tricky one! My friend's 13 year old daughter is on myspace which I think is totally wrong!!  She's way to young to be on there! Her age is shown as 15!  I think you should have to be at least 16 to be on these sites!  I think you should give your daughter a little bit of freedom but not to do whatever she wants either. Maybe be able to check her profiles and messages??


TiaraMom19
by on Sep. 11, 2009 at 6:47 PM

Hi,my son is 17 and has been on myspace since he was 15.I believe its okay if you keep a monitor on activities.I did catch my son being inapropriate on myspace with a girl.He was amazed that I caught him.Its really difficult trying to helicopter his hormones(lol).

Tia

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