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15 year old daughter stealing from me.... what to do?

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:47 AM
  • 9 Replies

I have always made my daughter save half of all the money she gets or earns, for college.  She is free to spend the other half as she sees fit.  We are not a wealthy family and this is the only way that she is going to be able to go to college and for us to afford it.  I have been saving money in my closet for several months for her college fund.  I had approximately $400 saved and ready to go to the bank.  I know I probably should not have been saving it in my closet, in my room... however, I NEVER EVER thought in a million years that my daughter would steal from me.  She took it ALL!!!!  And doesn't even know what she spent it on.  She has been going into my bedroom, into my closet, into my dresser drawer, for WEEKS stealing money (that was meant for her education) from me!  What do I do????  I give her money when she asks, I let her go to the movies, I pay for things for her, yet she still feels like she has to STEAL from me!!!!  Please any advice would be welcome.  I did call my mom, but she was at a loss for words too.

by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:47 AM
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Replies (1-9):
Babykitty
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 2:06 AM

I have a few options for you. 1. You could call the police. If she has stolen $400 from you what else has she stolen? And from who? Not to mention if she is gonna do the crime then she can do the time. 2. Take her to small claims court and have it court ordered that she pay you back. 3. Take stuff away from her and don't give any of it back until she pays you back. (T.V., DVD player, Ipod/MP3, Computer, Cell phone.  Stuff of value to her so she knows you mean business.) I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Good luck.


Faith123
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 10:57 AM

Wow ... tough situation. How old is your daughter?

I agree with the other poster about taking things from her (things you've bought her) and let her "buy" them back from you. 

rkoloms
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 8:45 AM

I don't believe that she doesn't know what she spent it on. I would insist on a written, itemized list. Ground her for at least a month (no social life, including facebook and texting).

If this happens again, get her in therapy.

Robin in Chicago

pammy32953
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 8:53 AM

i feel for you i would call the police. show her that she cant get away with it. we went thuogh this with my oldest we just handled it at home, well then he srarted stealig from other people. he is now in a court orderd youth progran 6 hours away. i havent seen him since april. i dont wish this on anyone best or luck to you

Evanmak0094
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 11:45 AM

First of all, so sorry you have to go through this.  It hurts because you were saving money FOR HER and she stole it!  I agree with other posters, first I would take away cell phone, i-pod, etc. and let her "earn" them back or "buy" them back. I would also ground her from all social life.  Stealing is unacceptable!  Tell her you are doing this, OR you could call the police, which would she prefer??

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Aug. 29, 2009 at 12:46 PM

Escort her to the bank and make her with draw $400 to pay you back.Then bring her home and make her help you empty her room As she will Now do 1 month In "girlJail" or "inhouse arrest" Remove everything except the bed and a pile of Books. leave some clothes NOT to many. You can nail her window so it will only open like 4 inches. Take the Door.She doesn't deserve one. she comes out for meals.bathroom and school . I would drive her and pick her up.she no longer has phone, comp,or extra curricular activities ! Minimum of 1 month !! She needs to sit in that girl jail and figure out Why she stole Why she is so disrespectful to you  the family and herself.If after 1 month she can't give you straighforward Honest answer of Why she stole and what she spent it on.She stays in jail. Once she gets out she no longer gets movie money anything she earns that for herself.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Aug. 29, 2009 at 1:51 PM

If it was me I would take away anything of value and ground her. Make her earn her stuff and freedom back. I would also make her pay back the money either through work around the house or if she has a job take part of her paycheck.

ayers65
by on Aug. 29, 2009 at 8:31 PM

I would call the police and tell them what happened.  Have them come by and scare the crap out of her.  Then I would take her stuff and tell her that she had so much time to buy it back your you are going to put it on Craigslist or ebay it.

Babykitty
by on Aug. 30, 2009 at 6:17 AM

I like the way you think.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Escort her to the bank and make her with draw $400 to pay you back.Then bring her home and make her help you empty her room As she will Now do 1 month In "girlJail" or "inhouse arrest" Remove everything except the bed and a pile of Books. leave some clothes NOT to many. You can nail her window so it will only open like 4 inches. Take the Door.She doesn't deserve one. she comes out for meals.bathroom and school . I would drive her and pick her up.she no longer has phone, comp,or extra curricular activities ! Minimum of 1 month !! She needs to sit in that girl jail and figure out Why she stole Why she is so disrespectful to you  the family and herself.If after 1 month she can't give you straighforward Honest answer of Why she stole and what she spent it on.She stays in jail. Once she gets out she no longer gets movie money anything she earns that for herself.


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