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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What happened to my 8 year old son who's now 14!

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2009 at 9:30 PM
  • 4 Replies

BEFORE AGE 7 OR 8?NOW, AGE 14

This is my son, Tustin.  I know the teenage years are weird, but it seems like over night from the first photo to that 2nd photo happened over night.  He's more withdrawn, I feel like we've lost our connection as Mom and son.  He visits with me every other weekend, but I notice a change almost every time.  I know about teen stuff, but this kid has a temper and just seems angry, like there's a dark side.  He doesn't really connect with anyone except the wrong kids from school.  I miss my boy, though we would always have that connection, but I hope this passes.

Any advice please help?  I just don't know how to connect with my kid when he comes over, and his attitude sucks, and he's mean to his half brother who's 4 that lives with me.  He can be violent at times, but his dad just remains in denial, like there's no problems in their house. 

~Dori

by on Aug. 31, 2009 at 9:30 PM
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Replies (1-4):
SHELL28
by on Aug. 31, 2009 at 9:44 PM

i know..time flys by...my son is 14 as well and i miss my lil boy too.!!  i had some hard times with my son when he was 12 and 13. he was in a "dark" stage..i got him into counseling and he started to come thru and i know what u mean about attitude and stuff cuz i went thru it with him. he is now 14 and he is much better..he is more talkative and now he talks to me about his feelings...dont give up on your son!!! it is a difficult road but be there and talk to him...i would try counseling...my son is diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety but we chose to be prescription free...he is doing good... i hope things will get better with you and your son...just dont give up...here if u need to talk...keep us posted.. 

KatCh
by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 11:06 AM

I think personality has a lot to do with it. My 16 yr old was happy and popular at that age, but my 14 yr old is dark and brooding. He likes being a loner, and while he'll go out if his friends call, he won't make the effort to call them. He plays the drums, listens to heavy metal music, writes dark poetry and wears black all the time. He starts high school next week and I'm encouraging him to join a sport or a club. I think if he keeps busy and finds a way to get rid of that negative energy, he'll be able to cope with life better.

What's tough for you is that your son doesn't live with you full-time and men are ignorant when it comes to certain things. His dad probably thinks boys will be boys when they get in trouble and that your son will grow out of it. I think that if you can provide a stable environment for him, it will help him feel like someone cares. Let him know he's in your home now and you have different rules you expect him to follow, that you love him no matter what and when he wants to talk, you will listen without judgment. Try to find out what his interests are now and learn a little about them, so that you can talk about neutral things. Hugs to you, mom, for caring.  

hlathrop72
by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 10:34 PM

I am so with you on this! Just last year my Son was still "mamas boy" then he turned 13 and went from sweet to weird! Now at 14 I keep looking in his eyes for the little boy he was. Now its girls, computers, video games, cell phone, etc. I miss my little man. He towers over me, Im 5'4 and he is 5'8! Holy cow where did the time go?? All I can do is keep trying to show him support even when the changes are weird, and try to keep up with the changes. He lived with his Dad for 10 years, he was 3 then and 14 now. So its been like culture shock for me and for him too. But despite the "weirdness" we love them anyways dont we!!? Good luck to you and your handsome Son!

Hopeful Motherangel mini

dawn91407
by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 12:11 AM

Ya I know. I have a 14 year old son and I am like the furthest from his mind, its all about girls, dying his hair black, he either disapears in his room or takes private phone calls. I see him when its time for food or bed, he doesnt talk to me much anymore, even when I ask. He doesnt get his way I am evil and hate him. I know its a teenage boy thing. The only thing I can do is keep telling him I am here for him through anything and not be afraid to come to me. I want to be a part of his life more then just the mom who pays the bills, but it is hard when he will not let me in. I try so hard, but some things he just wont crack on. The vidio games, the fact that he has become a cave dweller, the GIRLS, girls, why should I have to worry about girls right now. I know why dont answere. I guess I still see him as my baby, cause he is. My son is a very good looking boy and I worry when he has about 6 girls sending tex about how sexy he is and how they want him. I just want to go straight to their parents but I try to hold it in until I think I have a real reason to worry. I just keep my son informed that if he needs to come to me not to be afraid or ashamed. Thanx

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