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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

I feel so bad for our son. Mean kids SUCK!

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 10:00 PM
  • 15 Replies

 Daniel is 13. 8th grade. He has ADHD, but does well. He has an IEP, but that doesn't bother him, either. He is overweight and is legally blind without his very thick glasses, but he has dealt very well with both of those issues. One of his legs is a little shorter than the other, due to hip surgery when he was 6. He's good with that, too. He has great friends that keep very busy with him.

 Now, the problem. My hubby opened a bike and skateboard shop. He sells AWESOME bikes! Daniel picked one out right away. He was SO excited. All of his friends we so happy for him. He takes very good care of his things, so we were OK with him getting it. It retails for over $420.

 Today, some of the "mean kids" started in on him about how his bike looks like a Walmart bike and why would he ride around such a piece of crap when his brother picked such a nice bike. (Michael picked a more expensive bike and is making payments on it.) Daniel was speechless! He was bullied horribly in elementary school, and finally has great friends. Even his "friends" at the skate park were being mean! WTH??!! Leave him alone! Luckily his true friends are not acting like morons!

  He isn't able to see his therapist anymore, as our insurance was changed, so I have been trying to talk to him about people being jealous and nasty. How he should just ignore them, as nasty people LOVE upset reactions. It' so hard to see him going through this! We even warned him in the beginning, thinking it may happen. I mean who else has parents that own a bike and skateboard shop??

 Ignoring is SO hard when he has ADHD! He's just crushed!

 I don't know how to make him feel stronger, as I am FAR from being a strong person. I need a magic wand to make us both stronger!

by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 10:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
iluvmy3bratboys
by on Sep. 2, 2009 at 10:12 PM

wow! That's awful!!   It breaks my heart to hear such stories... I have had to deal with it in the past... with my brother... he is a little slow and has had strokes at least 4 times in his life and therefore his neck muscles are weak and when he walks sometimes his head "bobs"... well the reason he is like this is because his bio-mom ( we adopted him when he was 4) beat the shit out of him when he was a baby countless times and as a result he had fluid on the brain causing brain damage.  there were soooooooooooo many kids that made his life HELL and I unfortunately witnessed it first hand one day, but my brother REFUSED to tell me their names so that I could do something about it....I'm not sure if it was because he was afraid of being bullied even worse or maybe because he just felt sorry for THEM? I don't know, but it hurts to know someone you love is being hurt this way.... I always said I'd rather be hurt physically than mentally because the physical pain will go away but you don't forget words.... I wish I had some words of wisdom to help you out, but unfortunately all I can say is surround him with those that love him, reassure him that he is perfect in God's eyes and that's all that matters.... Maybe you could have a talk with his "Real" friends and maybe convince them to stick up for him in these situations so he doesn't feel alone... Good luck!!!

pamela_in_fl
by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 9:10 AM

This probably won't make you feel any better but my two oldest boys, 10 and 14 years old, are the boys who would be your son's true friend and stand up for him. Parents need to teach their children to be nice to others, no matter size, shape, color, etc... If the child decides to be mean thereafter, there's only so much you can do but it starts at home, don't you think?

KRISTAL_WILDER
by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 10:21 AM

poor guy :(

ohmommamia
by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 10:31 AM

The kids are jealous.  That's how kids make themselves feel better when they don't have something as nice as someone else.  Just tell your son that and give him a big hug!  Mean kids!

Tabatha42183
by on Sep. 4, 2009 at 1:21 PM

I hate that he's going through this, it's not fair and people SUCK. Give him a big hug from me and let him know that people put other people down like that just to make themselves feel better and they aren't worth getting upset over. Maybe put him in like a tae kwon do class or something to help him take his frustrations out without violence against  someone else. But it would also help him learn to defend himself if someone does physically attack him.

bam920
by on Sep. 4, 2009 at 1:47 PM

So sorry to hear he is going through this.  Being a teen is hard and no one needs this extra pressure, especially him!

csjoy1
by on Sep. 4, 2009 at 2:26 PM

BULLIES AHHHH!!frustrated

I HEAR YOU MOM, BEEN THERE AND IT'S A HEART BREAK, AS WELL WANTING TO STEP IN AND BULLY THEM BACK.   HERE ARE SOME THINGS I TRIED, 

1.  I HAD A BOY'S BARBECUE PARTY AND INVITED THE BULLIES.

2.  I GOT TJ SIGNED UP  IN TEAM COMMUNITY SPORTS, SOCCER, BASEBALL AND EVEN KARATE.   IT HELPED TO IMPROVE HIS SELF ESTEEM, PLUS ASSOCIATE WITH OTHER GREAT FRIENDS. HE WENT ON TO PLAY SOCCER IN HIS JUNIOR AND PART HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER TEAM.  AND THROUGH MY CHURCH GOT HIM INVOLVED IN CHURCH , YOUNG, & TEEN ACTIVITIES.  THROUGH THE CHURCH HE GOT TO HAVE A ONE ON ONE WITH THE LEADER WHO BEFRIENDED HIM AND ACTED MUCH LIKE A COUNSELOR.  WHICH HELPED MUCH.   YOU JUST HAVE TO SEARCH YOUR COMMUNITY AND FIND OUT WHAT OPTIONS ARE AT HAND FOR YOUR SON.

playing soccer

3.  I REMINDED HIM WHAT I LEARNED WHEN I WAS A KID AND WAS BULLIED , "STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME".  THEN WE DISCUSSED WHAT THAT REALLY MEANT.   HELP YOUR SON SEE BEYOND THE BULLIES IF POSSIBLE, AND KNOW THAT UNFORTUNIATELY BULLIES AND THEIR ACTIONS LEAVE SCARS.  IF THEY ATTEND THE SCHOOL YOUR SON GOES TOO, TRY TO HANG AROUND TO SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT WHO THEY ARE WITHOUT YOUR SONS KNOWLEDGE.    IF NECESSARY THEN SPEAK WITH THE PRINCIPAL BECAUSE IF YOU SEARCH THE WEB CONCERNING BULLIES, EQUIP YOURSELF WITH THE KNOWLEDGE , BULLIES HAS BEEN A RISE THROUGHOUT THE U.S. 

HOPE THIS WAS HELPFUL?  I DO FEEL FOR YOU BOTH, AND I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS.  CSJOY1 

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Sep. 4, 2009 at 2:29 PM


Quoting bam920:

So sorry to hear he is going through this.  Being a teen is hard and no one needs this extra pressure, especially him!


sapphiresoda
by on Sep. 5, 2009 at 12:40 PM

I'm sorry your son is having to deal with bullies on top of everything else.

Boothfamily
by on Sep. 5, 2009 at 12:44 PM

Yep, they are just jealous. It will fade with time. All you can do is what you are doing!

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