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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

should have started when they were younger

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 1:59 PM
  • 4 Replies

Hi there moms,

    as a mom of 4...ages 23..21..16..14.. I have found that over the years my parenting ways started to slack off with my youngest two...who are teenage girls....so over the last couple of years i have found them to be very disrespectful to me calling me psycho mom and telling me that i was hated and things like that of course....i was never told that by my oldest 2...but i was also a different type of mom back then as well....so about 4 days ago we decided that enough was enough and i really put my foot down...just like i should have done back when they were 2...now they cant understand why i am making chore lists..doing room checks and lowering curfew times until they can show they are more responsible....so please dont slack off of your parental duties because you are tired of fighting and arguing or you dont want to be the bad guy because it doesnt matter if you are...i did and my 16 yr old is giving me the most resistance and its not all her fault...its mine as well for letting it go on so long...since july 4 i found out through text messages found on her old cell that she lost her virginity...got really drunk....had a gun pulled on her twice...i cant tell you how i would have felt if something would have happened to her just because i wanted to be her friend as well as her mother....when i asked her about all of this she said that it was no big deal...that i did the same thing when i was a teen....i told her it didnt matter what i did...now i know that i am definitely going to be the mother first...then if there is time i can be her freind...she has enough friends...she has only one mother and i am not about to lose a child because i got tired...please young moms...learn from my mistakes....you dont want you teen to be just another statistic...check up on then no matter how mad they get or how nosy they think you are...never give up....they may hate you now...but they will love you when they are 30 and have children of their own....thanks for reading

by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 1:59 PM
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Replies (1-4):
IndigoGirl1971
by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 5:16 PM

Yup, I agree. We always tell our son that if he likes us more than 50% of the time, we're not doing our jobs as parents. Good for you. 

wallmom1
by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 9:24 PM

As the mom to a 16 yo dd, I complete know how you feel.  I have never wanted to be her friend but still had a hard time saying NO.    We had a couple of times this summer where she said one thing and did another.   I pulled her in. No phone, no going out, no nothing.  And through our "conversations" I think we both got a better understanding of each other.  I have always told her that no matter what she should come to me. I am the one person who will always be there.  Even if I'm the last person she wants to talk to.  I also told her not to try and play me, which after the second time of me figuring it out she finally learned.  I told her there is nothing she can do that at her age I didn't do, short of becoming pregant.  So figuring out what she is up to isn't that hard.  She knows that now!!! I found that once we had some sort of understanding it was easier to be more friend like.  I think at this time in her life she needs a mom more than a nother friend.  And like you, I am not willing to sit by and watch her make bad choices.  I am not willing to lose her.  And giving her the space she wants is the hardest part.  But that had to be earned back.

I agree sometimes we start to late, but better late than never.

Andrea

mary717
by on Sep. 3, 2009 at 10:09 PM

Well said mama! My dd will be 16 in Feb, and I have to remind her almost daily who's the mom. Right now she has no cable, and is about to lose her bedroom door again. Wish us luck!

DogsMom
by on Sep. 4, 2009 at 7:57 AM

And if they love you from their own home...or if they have children of their own and begin to understand why you did what you did... eventually they realize they do not know it all

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