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my 17 year will have the honor of bring a pallbearer for my mom.

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:16 AM
  • 14 Replies

for the hardest day of my life ,my son will have the biggest honor of all he will carrie my mom to her final resting place. he has asked me, mom is it ok to feel sad and happy at the same time, for the first time in my life i could not answer him i feel so bad i have never not been unable to give one of my children an answer for anything. my heart is so broken that  my children are feeling my pain . and i am having a very hard time dealing with my own childrens pain.


by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:38 AM

I am so very sorry about your mom. I see nothing wrong with your children seeing your pain. You can grieve together, and comfort each other. Trying to hide your pain won't work anyway, and it really IMO won't be beneficial to anyone. Your heart is broken...all you can do is go day to day , and over time as the days pass, the pain will lessen some. hugs...


by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:43 AM

 Im sorry for your loss :(

by Shauna on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:56 AM

I'm sorry for your loss.

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 12:15 PM

I feel your pain.  I lost my dear father in Jan.  And we were very close.  My girls were very close to him and have taken his passing differently. My oldest at 16 still has "moments" when something reminds her of Pop.  My youngest at 12 isn't taking it as hard, but sometimes gets a far away look in her eye when he comes up in conversation.   It is important you let your kids see your grief, she was your mom, and regaurdless of your relationship with her, she was your mom. I'm sure your son feels honored to be part of this and sad. And that is OK.  Sometimes we don't even know how to feel and that makes it hard to tell our kids how to feel. Your should reminded them how lucky they were to have her as a part of their lives and how much she loved them.  And that no matter what they are feeling it is OK.  One thing I learned from losing my dad was, everyone grieves differently, and what is "right" or works for me may not work for you. And that is also true for your kids.  Just be there, laugh at the good memories and cry when ever you want to.  I still do!!  And it helps me.  Again, I am sorry for your loss.  This is one time your really don't have to be strong for your kids, they will understand.

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 3:26 PM

 ((((HUGS))))) I am very sorry for your loss. We lost my dad 9 years ago, it was very hard for all of us and we still have our moments.

My son's ex-gf's grandmother passed away 2 weeks ago and at her funeral all 9 of her children were her pall bearers. They took their mom to her final rest. It was very emotional.

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:42 PM

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My dad passed away 2 yrs ago and someone just asked me recently how I dealt with the loss and reality of not seeing him anymore. All I could say was that you get used to it. The firsts were the hardest, first Christmas, first Father's Day, etc and that while it gets easier to get through the days after a while, I've never stopped missing him or thinking of him and I say a prayer for him every night. If you need to cry, cry. If your kids are crying, hug them and cry with them. My thoughts are with you and your family, including your incredibly brave son, at this time.

by on Sep. 7, 2009 at 11:49 PM

First of all sorry for the loss of your dear mother... so sad..

I lost my Dad in 2004 and I was 5 mths pregnant with my only son. My husband got the honor of being a pallbearer and he still talks about how honore he was since I was a daddys girl... My husband kept the white gloves the funeral home gave to help with the carrying of the casket and we kept them in his jacket pocket of his suit he will never wear again, mainly because if I seen it on him I would bawl the whole time. Oh and since my hubby was with the casket , i had to have help down the church aisle on the way out of church from crying so bad, make sure u have someone by you, you never know how u will respond..

an honor for your son on such a sad day, especially for this age bracket, my nephews also got to be pallbearers and they were so sad they could barely keep their heads up... make sure you remind your son on how proud his grandma and you are of him... bless all of u.. 

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 8:20 AM

Sorry about  your loss

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 9:55 AM

i'm sorry for your loss.

by on Sep. 8, 2009 at 10:18 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. 

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